The Apocalypse Game

I never considered it futile
To carry the weight of your pain

A gift conceived by angels

Dark blessings offered in vain

I thought there was something to gain

In never leaving your side

And getting drenched in the rain

You must have felt so much pride

Humans taught me how to be

But they didn’t quite succeed

And so I encompass your light

I’ll forever inhabit the divine

Lines

The blinds are making lines on the walls

Their scent got me bouncing off the walls

Take the keys from the bowl and sniff it up

Steal all the credit cards and line it up

Breathe in through your nose like when the monk said it

Don’t breathe out through your mouth or you’ll choke on it

We havin’ a lil fun with all the white girl

Only men in the room but no white girl

She got me higher than all the broken windows

Just heat the white sand to fix all the windows

Installed the blinds that hides between the lines

He layin’ on his back moaning are his only lines

I put him in my mouth eyes closed as I go south

There’s a lot of snow there while I’m skiing south

The blinds are making lines on the walls

Their scent got me bouncing off the walls

Racing Thoughts

Did I successfully slash his second tire did I assert a deep tone of voice when I yelled at him did I break his phone beyond repair did I impede on his daily schedule did he stay up all night thinking about me too did he wonder what he did wrong does he regret what he did does he understand the reasoning behind my retaliation does he still want to be with me did we have a chance at true love does He hate me now do I hate him should I have killed him should I have pressed charges should I go back to his house for revenge should I invoke a false sense of security claiming to seek forgiveness before I take his life from him did I do the best I could to do the right thing did he shed tears for me would he take me back can I get away with murder am I the hero of this tale am I the villain being molded by this origin story did I make him fear for his life did I enjoy seeing the shock emanating from his pale-face did I do this because I was drunk and high would I have done this if I was sober do I drink too much am I an alcoholic am I a drug addict am I a sex addict do I enjoy making him cry does he enjoy watching me in pain was this a lesson I needed to learn did I fuck up something that could have salvaged me did I overreact did I under-react should I reach out to him should I leave him alone can we move past this can we talk about it am I past the point of no return??????????????????

Holding Hands

Encompassing the world like a siege upon the castle

For buried mementos scavenged from a time capsule

Waves unable to move forward due to stubborn sand dunes

Plums ripe under harsh sunlight shrivels them to prunes

Holding hands

Basking in the peace

Holding hands

Where all conflict cease

So tired

Retired

Holding hands

Falling asleep

Pulled into the earth like a vampire so desperate to die

For losing loved ones due to old age is so depressing to survive

Flames unable to be extinguished for lack of air in the lungs

Hearts pump under silent moonlight exposes them to dust

Holding hands

Basking in the peace

Holding hands

Where all conflict cease

So tired

Retired

Holding hands

Falling asleep

A Night Off of Mourning

If I didn’t have to worry so much about survival,

I would allow myself to succumb to the insanity.

It would be easier to bypass all laws, rules, and etiquette,

To live life where the Id is released into the wild,

Unleashing the carnage to expose bullshit from the guise of the insincere.

What is humility when some are ostracized to keep up appearances?

The factionless destined to wander through space alone forever.

No scream can be heard when a planet and a black hole are one and the same,

Taming the feral beast within while all that keeps me safe is killing me

My Podcast: Storytime with Freddy The Teddy

Hello to my fallen angels! It has been so long since I felt inspired enough to add to my blog. Luckily for you, I now have my own podcast! If you were a longtime fan of my blog, now you could listen to my voice on the following podcast platforms:

Anchor

RadioPublic

Breaker

Spotify

Google Podcasts

PocketCasts

Enjoy! There are already over 20 episodes so far! Delve into the mystery and become an avid listener of “Storytime with Freddy the Teddy 🐻” today!

I’m Going On

I’m going on

When a laureate could explain why

And no reverend could absolve

I’m going on

When there is no red X,

no good counsel

And no highway to heaven

I’m going on

When existing is a burden

And no mother will take us in

I’m going on

When love is a satire,

a wasted expense

And you become past tense

I’m going on

___________I’m going on

______________________I’m going on

To my beloved

If you were the greatest thing that happened to me,

Would I know it?

If your love was like a flower,

I would plant it,

I would grow it.

You gave me all your body.

I know I’m strong enough to hold it.

If I show you all my demons

and we dive off the plateau,

would we fall and drown like every time before?

I can tell you all my secrets.

I would wrap my arms around your weakness.

If I relinquish my emotion,

would you even want to take it?

If you gave me all your trust now,

would I stumble and break it?

If I get scared and run away,

would you reel me back in?

If the only other option is letting go,

I’ll stay vulnerable.

If we sever the ties from our pasts,

Will there be room for the present?

You are stronger than your aggressor.

Your light pierces through the darkness you own.

You are beautiful inside and out

I admire how you don’t give up on people

for I have done it every time.

No matter what flaws they unleash,

you never forget their good side.

you are remorse

you are healing

you are resilience

you are strong

you are kind

you are wise

you are doing the best you can!

If you give me every piece of yourself,

you know that I can drop it.

Relentless generosity

Give me a chance

You know I can take advantage once I got it

If you gave me the opportunity,

would I blow it?

If the only other option is letting go,

I’ll stay vulnerable

Shrouded Guilt

If you have ghosts

you have everything

You can say anything you want

You can do anything you always wanted to

but most never do that

You can call it a surprise

a change to your demise

Claim it’s not a part of you


Only in the night you are real

Ghosts shimmer down your wandering mind

An ethereal wind forever blows

down these barren lands of ice

feeding on your shrouded guilt

like a parasite falling for its host

For the truth of the matter is

I will never let you go