My Curious George

“So you’re going to chase away a guy who actually likes you and wants to be with you because of your ex-fiance?! IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS! YOU NEED TO FORGIVE HIM AND MOVE FORWARD IN YOUR LIFE! He hurt you really bad, I get it. You were in pain, but now you’re just suffering. Suffering is a choice. You’re choosing to isolate and to feel alone and unloved. Do you like feeling this way?! Because if you don’t, then it is imperative for you to open yourself up to new experiences. That is the only way you’ll ever be able to move on. Escape your comfort zone and take a leap of faith! Put your trust in something far larger than yourself… the unknown.”

Xrotica: Ménage à Trois

My ass is an adult playground… and a children’s graveyard. Love doesn’t exist when I live like this. I casually think of death within ten minutes of waking up every single morning. But this is the price I pay for the past I’ve endured and the sin that I submit to each and every day. So… let’s begin, shall we?

I usually only fuck with older men. You know, the cute and cuddly bears that do no wrong. Riiight… Anyway, I have recently come into contact with another cub. A three-year-younger white guy named – let’s call him “Jay.” I met him through one of my best friends. I didn’t think twice about him when we had first met. Jay is a young white gangster with shaggy hair and green eyes.  He had a girlfriend he was madly in love with. Jay probably still is, I don’t doubt that for a second. The first time we met had been with a group of friends. (Think quantity over quality…) However, it was the second time we hung out – with just the best friend I originally met him through – that the ice was broken. Jay suggested that we should have sex. His girlfriend was nowhere to be found, and he had wanted to experiment with another man. After a brief hesitation on my part, I complied, but I didn’t want my best friend to witness what was to happen. My best friend is straight and very accepting of the gay community, but watching two men have sex right in front of him would have crossed the line. And because I live in a studio apartment, my best friend retreated into the restroom, the only area in my apartment where he couldn’t see us commit sodomy…

The third time around, Jay came over to my place. Just me and him. He confessed that he’s bisexual and that he really enjoyed his first gay fuck with me. I was flattered, even honored to hear that. Jay is still in the closet to this day. I’d already had a sip of this promiscuous lifestyle so I’d reasoned I was drunk enough to deal with it. He puts up quite a tough front and a lot of walls defend the opalescence of his vulnerable heart. But as an Empath, I can see right through all of that. His girlfriend left him for one of his long time friends. Jay said so many awful things about her but I mentioned that I had been where he was. I really hurt my ex-fiance. I did horrible things that ruined his reputation and his prize-winning Narcissistic ego. I told Jay that he didn’t hate her for what she did to him, he was merely heartbroken. And so Jay and I made artificial love. I did it so that I can cheer up a friend and he did it to forget about his loss for the time being. Sex is how I’ve cheered a lot of people up. I’m powerless in every other way. That day was nothing special. We did the basics. Blowjobs and anal sex. Jay wasn’t interested in making out or rimming or even being a bottom. To me, it was just another day, but to Jay… I simply don’t know. Yet afterwards, he requested a threesome with me and one of my fuck boys, Dee. My sexual exploits with Dee were legendary.  He tends to disappear for a few months at a time, but Dee always came back to me. I guess my body alone wasn’t good enough to satisfy Jay though. I didn’t take offense like I would have in the past because now I understood the feeling. Nothing satisfies me anymore either. And so I called Dee and left him a message I had no doubt he would respond to.

The very next morning, Jay and I were just playing video games when Dee called me and informed me that he was interested in the threesome shortly after I sent him a picture of Jay in reply to his demand. I always pictured my first threesome to be me along with two bears but Jay and I tag teaming Dee seemed like the way to go. No complaints from me! I showed Jay a picture of Dee 15 minutes prior to the impromptu event. I prepped him about how Dee worked in the sack. I had to make sure Jay wouldn’t be a fucking pussy and bail at the last minute. Having a threesome had been on my bucket list for years. So I quickly gargled some mouthwash, and displayed my collection of porn, lube, and condoms I usually kept atop my dresser during those dry spells I experienced at times. I slipped on the black t-shirt Dee gave me to promote his band, some sports shorts, and a pair of grey sandals just in time for Dee to call again, confirming that he was downstairs. Jay was very nervous but I assured him that Dee was a good man. We rushed down to retrieve him. My face was beaming with delight at the sight of him. What a beautiful man! Dee had to be around 15 years older than me. His haircut looked like it was done within a day or two before. I loved when he got a haircut. I mean, I would fuck with him regardless but that nice edge-up was a definite plus. I practically jumped on him like a schoolboy coming home to find out his deadbeat dad had finally returned. It was the polite thing to do for me to introduce Dee to Jay and vice versa before we all trekked back up to my bedchamber.

I completely forgot Jay was in the room with us when I threw myself on Dee. We began to make out heavy. Our pink, slimy serpents were raging war in our respective dystopias. I held him very tight as both my arms wrapped around his tanned neck, in total submission to a passionate, overdue embrace. Dee played with my bubble butt over my shorts before reaching into the cookie jar. A couple of minutes passed before Dee pulled back and reminded me of Jay’s silent existence, staring in awe of our short-lived, make-out session. His wonderful breath smelled like weed and cigarettes as he whispered in my ear for me to ease my other friend’s discomfort. I kind of felt bad so to compensate for my rude behaviour, I went on my knees as if Jay was my religion, in unholy communion for the bread and wine I received for mere lustful pleasure. Jay’s dick was slightly longer and much wider than Dee’s dick, however it was Dee whose been playing the game far longer than him, even longer than me. Dee knows how to use his meaty extension much better too. Also, Dee was open to ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, AND ANYTIME AT ALL DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA! Anyway, I sucked Jay’s dick like a savage. My tongue licking the shaft of his cock every time my jaw started to ache. His balls were huge! Like the size of cherry tomatoes. Dee eased his way to a crouching position before sucking my dick in return. He nibbled my inner thighs and took a huge whiff of my unique pubic smell he became so used to. Like father, like son, I mimicked everything Dee did to me onto Jay. This went on for quite a while.

Soon enough, Dee stood up and circled around me just to plop his sexy bear ass back down directly behind me to eat me out. His tongue! HIS TONGUE! HIS TONGUE! Oh my god! Wooooooooowwww!!!! It swerved every which way, exploring every crevice as the rosy serpent ceased to impede on its expedition despite it being difficult to do so given that I was kneeling as I continued to deep throat Jay. I suddenly stood up and bent down to continue the fellatio. At this point, Jay grew weary of standing so he sat down on my couch in front of my plasma screen TV. This gave Dee much better access to rimming my plump, hairy ass. Dee’s a fucking animal! Good thing I do yoga on a regular basis because I bent down pretty low. I can press my whole palms on the ground without bending my knees at all. Jay was moaning pretty loud, and Dee shoved my head down a bit further onto Jay’s cock as he shimmied his own cock into my spit-covered hole. Dee didn’t even need to use the lube. His saliva did the trick. So Dee started fucking me bareback as I allowed the push-pull motion to maintain my mouth’s course of action in regards to Jay. I loved how Dee’s cock was just the right size to pleasure me but not so big that it hurt.

Jay’s eyes widened like cherry pies.He must have been surprised that I was able to take Dee’s cock without a groan or grimace. Not even my facial expression changed. If Jay’s eyes were shut to begin with, he wouldn’t have known Dee was pounding me from the back at full velocity. Suddenly, I stood up and commanded Dee to suck Jay off. My jaw needed a break! Geez! So at that point, it was Dee who took my place as the monkey in the middle. I laid on my back first so that I can arch my head and eat him out, you know, to return the favor. I gnawed on, over, under, and in between his ass cheeks. It sounded like I was slurping some Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup and shit. Mmm, mmm good! If he didn’t want to use lube or use a condom, then I wasn’t either. Fuck, it’s the least I could do. There was a small part of me that resents and envies Dee. even now, as I’m typing this for your pleasure. He can have his fucking cake and eat it too. There’s a husband waiting for him at his home, and yet his husband had always been completely fine with all the shit Dee does. I slapped his ass really hard on his bear paw tattoo on his right butt cheek. My middle finger went in his ass at first, shoving it in all the way over and over again! Then two fingers… three… I look back and I wish I’d at least attempted to fist him. Maybe next time…. I clenched my whole arm around his neck, choking him moderately and pulling him away from his oral activity. I bit his ears, licked his neck, and kissed his cheeks and forehead while I pulled his head back. I traced his collar-bone while I asked Dee if he enjoyed my abuse. He nodded earnestly. I loosened my grip on his throat and demanded him to verbalize the affirmation. Dee yelled out “YES!” Then, I let go to spread my legs and bend my knees slightly to try to find a good angle to penetrate my Philanderer. I slowly tapped my uncut cock just above his hole as I watched him devour Jay’s dick. Jay’s eyes were closed tight as a seemingly permanent relaxed smile was displayed on his scruffy face. That turned me on quick. It was the same way Dee sucked me off a few minutes before. I jammed my engorged sex organ into him real hard as I held his waist like it was a life-preserver.

What a feeling of ecstasy! I felt the warmth of his hole encasing my dick whole. Perhaps I was bumping uglies directly on his prostate gland. My cock was never this hard when I jerked off alone during so many sleepless nights. Jay smiled at me and I winked at him in return. Desire’s needs were being met. My world spun at a rapid pace. I shut my eyes while I quickly gyrated my hips. Without looking, I held Dee’s head down on Jay’s cock all the way until he gagged. Jay was in it. He was enjoying himself and I can tell that he no longer felt nervous or uncomfortable at all. Quite the contrary, in fact!

Without notice, Jay held Dee away from his cock because he didn’t want to cum too soon. The perfect syncopation ceased. We all got stood up straight. Dee went into the restroom and gurgled some of my mouthwash, from the sound of it. The action moved from the couch to the bed. I went on all fours at the edge of the bed like a good little doggie, grabbed a pillow to hold and scream into when the time came, and waited for Jay to delve into my mystery. He smeared some lube on his dick and my fat ass. Like I said before, Jay was not into rimming at all. Abruptly, Jay jammed his penis in full force. Ahhhhhhh!!!! His dick had a lot of girth. Motha fucka didn’t even fucking ease it in. It was like a serial killer was chasing him so he had to fucking shove the key into the car ignition as quickly as possible. Fucking asshole! I was okay though. You see, I have been fucked by black guys with the biggest dicks you can imagine so I knew that after a minute or so, my asshole would relax until it became a numbing sensation.

Dee rushed out of the restroom right after spitting out the mouthwash. He marveled at how well I was taking Jay’s anal abuse even as he circled around my bed and laid on his back so I could suck his hairy daddy dick. A new indecorous act took place of the old. Jay fucked me good! All the while, I stared into Dee’s dark, beady eyes as I applied his pink lipstick before succumbing to the bittersweet fellatio once more. However, I couldn’t keep my lips around Dee’s cock for even seconds at a time. Jay fucked me wild! So Dee decided to get back up and watch from the sidelines, observing his cubby being taken from behind by another man. Who knew Dee was a voyeur? He witnessed my face all skewed and distorted as I continued to endure the wonderful pain Jay inflicted on my insides. Dee was smiling ear to ear when he reached his hand out to pet my head. I managed to grab his veiny hand and suck all on his fingers and in between them. Then I resumed resting both my palms on the sheets while Dee let me keep on licking his hand rather vehemently. I stared into his eyes again, smiling through it all, proving to him that my ass’s resilience rivaled my mind’s. Dee’s watch startlingly started beeping very loudly. Apparently, he had to be somewhere else. So, once again, we all stood up.

While Dee got dressed, Jay and I sat on my couch and began jerking each other off. I seductively asked him if he could stay just a bit longer so we can all cum together before his abrupt departure. Unfortunately, he declined my extended invitation. Jay just listened as Dee and I implored in a brief and open dialogue. He was a guitarist in his band. I owned a guitar but every time Dee agreed to teach me how to play, we always just end up fucking. Jay automatically started jerking himself off once I got up to give Dee a hug and kiss farewell. As always, Dee told me he’ll call or text me when he gets the chance for a future rendezvous. I never held my breath but I knew he always contacted me eventually. I unlocked my front door and slid the chain off before he left.

Two cubs resumed pleasuring each other. Jay offered to fuck me again, but by then, my asshole was so damn sore. So we laid on my quilt to finally finish our handjobs. I felt his eyes on me, but I closed mine and pretended Dee had stayed just a bit longer…



“Commitment is a beautiful dream, isn’t it?” She asked.

He answered her plea,
“That’s all that it will ever be,
An otiose child of love,”
She knew quite well of what he spoke of.

But there were no excuses for this man’s harsh reply.
She saw right through his walls of impenetrable supply,
And knew his fear confined him into isolation…
Not contention.

So as he just stood there,
Petrified by a woman of her caliber,
She transcended a glistening glow
As her ethereal spirit left him below.

And all that remained was regret
Due to his antiquated reluctance,
Feigning omnipotence
Claiming it was for the best…

I Love The Way

hello to my lovely fallen angels! This reminds me of a time I wrote a love letter to my ex back when we were together. I didn’t tell him what it was, but I told him to read it. I folded it so many times that the creases took him a bit more time to read the words. He gave me an endearing look when he realized the true purpose of it. It was a beautiful moment and zachsmith98’s poem reminded me of it. Enjoy! (And make sure to check out some of the other wonderful content in their blog!)

Inner Thoughts of An Extrovert

I love the way the pen glides across paper
as I scrawl my deepest thoughts
across a crumpled notebook page.

I love the way you smile
and giggle when you smooth out the paper,
reading it over slowly in your head.

I love the way your brow creases
as you process
every simple syllable.

I love the way that your lips
seductively trace each word on the page,
revelling in every messily scribbled line.

I love the way you look at me,
and finally realize that all this time–
I’ve been writing about you.


**Image: “Love Winter” via Deviantart Kara Z. Kerstena

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Drag Me To Hell


I’ll wash your feet with my tears if you need,

I’ll rub ointment on your toes and in between,

If you’re a demon then drag me to hell,

This descent into the inferno…



Confiscate the benevolence in my soul void of solace,

Inveigle in love’s embrace like a specter forlorn and disgraced,

If you’re a demon then drag me to hell,

This descent into the inferno…



Love is the only magick humans can conjure,

The be and end all self-sacrifice so unsure,

If you’re a demon then drag me to hell,

This descent into the inferno…



I gaze into your soulless eyes like a gateway drug,

Pitchfork to my heart in the form of a farewell hug,

If you’re a demon then drag me to hell,

This descent into the inferno…

So snug


What is Happiness?

Is happiness the blissful ignorance we feel as a child,
Nestled on the breast that can make or break you,
Completely oblivious to the pain one could inflict upon another,
Unknowing of all those horrible things –
– The freedom to playfully run around aimlessly?
Is happiness anything but ordinary?
Is happiness only a child’s emotion?

Perhaps happiness is the light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe it’s felt after all the realizations and epiphanies,
After all the sorrow in response to external pain
As you escape the arms of your childhood –
The soft pillow repelling the monster under the bed…
The cotton candy rush before the stomach ache…
The ice cream-filled dreams…
– All torn asunder.
Raging thunder,
Body stretched beyond its limits;
Mind palliated on the walls you guard yourself with the older you get.
Is happiness the effect following the cause of the drastic mistakes you made,
The lessons you learned?
Is happiness coming to terms with accepting the loss,
The trauma and its memories set on repeat,
The weaknesses exposed?
Is happiness a weight lifted off your shoulders,
Forgiving your aggressor,
Grateful for a fate never replicating Atlas’s eternal curse?
Is it the first breath after darkness subsides,
And all that remains is contention?
Is happiness… love found in a hopeless place?
Is happiness anything but ordinary?
Is it only an adult emotion?

What is happiness?
Fleeting spurts of joy
Greater than the sum of its parts –
The sensation you feel when something finally goes your way?
Is it a sense of independence,
Knowing you no longer need to rely on anyone else for your own survival?
When all that we strive for are superficial
For they are the only certain things?
Is happiness anything but ordinary?
Is it only an authentic emotion?

Is it only obtainable in ultimate reality?
Is it only felt after you pass this test of life with flying colors?
Is happiness being gentle and kind against all odds
In a world that wasn’t designed to harbor any permanent solutions?
Does being dead on the inside count for anything at all?
Is happiness only a cadaver’s emotion?

Can anyone obtain happiness?
Is it up for grabs?
First come first serve basis
Or are only the lucky ones destined to be happy?
Can some be impervious to happiness?
Is it an oasis discovered after wandering through the desert all alone,
Dehydrated to near death?
Is loneliness the opposite of happiness
Or is it one and the same?
What is happiness?
Is it anything but ordinary?
Can I be happy?

My Third Award: The Liebster Award

The Liebster Award


I have been nominated by   Please go check them out!


1. What was the most scariest moment in your life?

I would have to say when my mother kicked me out on my 18th birthday because my lifestyle didn’t fit into her cookie-cutter, Islamic expectations she had for me since I was born. I was homeless and was doing unspeakable things to survive living in the streets before I finally got the help I needed.

2. What or who inspires your writing?

I honestly believe it’s all the trauma and abuse I went through that ultimately became my muse. I learned and gained more inspiration from the awful things I have endured than from all the good times I had. The loss of my ex-fiance was also a big help in aiding and strengthening my literary abilities since I first founded my blog.

3. How have you overcame writers block?

That’s easy! I look into other blogs to get ideas. Don’t get me wrong! I don’t plagiarize! It’s the different styles, themes, and vocabulary used in other blogs that turns on the metaphorical light-bulb hovering just above my head.

4. Are you published, would you like to be published?

I’m currently self-published. As of now, I published my novel, The Pandemonium Chronicles: The Merge between Heaven and Hell, and my poetry book, Trials and Tribulations, on Kindle Direct Publishing. I would LOVE to be published by Scholastic or Random House someday. 

5. What do you think is your best poem or short story?

Despite the ascension in likes and comments for my more recent posts, I must confess that one of my much older poems, Triskelion, will always be the best poem I ever wrote. It was the epitome of my adolescent years rolled up into a poetic form called a Ballade.

6. Your favorite novel?

Good question! My favorite series (that’s not mainstream) is Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake novels. However, if I could only choose one, I would say the first book, Guilty Pleasures, hands down! Guilty Pleasures introduced me to the wonderful parallel world where supernatural beings and the legal system are intermingled. For instance, vampires are considered legal citizens so Anita must acquire a warrant before she can legally stake a vampire.

7. If you could meet an author who would you meet?

J. K. Rowling! I love her! I love how she was homeless and living in her car, writing Sorcerer’s Stone on Starbucks napkins! How incredible was that?! When I was homeless, I just wanted to die. I didn’t even have the mental capacity at the time to write anything. I want to ask her how she did it all!

8. If you were trapped on an island what three items would you have?

A huge notebook, one of those giant novelty pencils (they come with their own pencil sharpener so that’s included), and The Bible. You’d be surprised how many ideas you can get from its passages. I would say a phone or a knife, but there’s no way to charge a phone on an island and for the knife, I believe I’m resourceful enough to make a weapon out of materials in the wild.

9. What is one thing in the world you’d like to change?

I would make it so that hatred doesn’t exist. It just baffles me how often I witness people holding grudges for years on end or plotting against each other. It’s madness! Like I always say, we’re all human subjected to trials and tribulations regardless of who we are or what we have that differs from another. We all experience love, tragedy, despair, misery, hope, longing, fleeting spurts of joy, and heart-break. Can we just agree to disagree?! Can we learn to forgive and practice radical acceptance?! Life is hard for everyone!

10. How long have you been writing?

The first memory I recall writing was when I was in sixth grade and my English teacher told the class to write a short story about anything. I fell in love with free writing right then and there! No bounds and no limitations! So overall, I’d say I have been writing for around ten years now. I’m never going to stop!


Ten Random Facts About Me:

1. I can snap my fingers and dribble a basketball much better with my left hand even though I’m right-handed!

2. I just love TV Land! It’s my favorite TV station and it’s where I saw my first crush, Desi Arnaz, on I Love Lucy.

3. I am a Fitness Junkie! I do yoga everyday and I work out three times a week for two hours each time. 

4. I made up a term called a “comedy fetish” which I define as the one thing that makes you laugh the most. Mine is decapitation, preferably in horror films. (What is yours?)

5. You know that movie, The Water Boy, with Adam Sandler? Well, I can do a perfect impersonation of his character. It’s hilarious!

6. I once flipped out and got restrained in a hospital… on a dare!

7. I’m proficiently trained in Boxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I’m no sissy!

8. I consider myself a Spiritual Empath. It’s the ability to sense the continuous external emotional stimuli that leads to the confusion of one’s own emotions with those of others around them. The simplest way to describe them is through their ability to absorb the emotional frequencies of others, just like an “emotional sponge.”

9. I used to spread rumors about myself in high school so that people would stay away from me. It worked! 😀

10. I made a Facebook account for my pet cat, Silly, apart from my own personal one and made it look like we’re married. Our first year anniversary was on June 1st of this year!

My nominees are:

Game of Words



Living With Depression


Jessica Torres

Ten Questions for my Nominees:

1. What is the one thing that makes you feel the most joy?

2. If you could have any superpower, which one would you choose and why?

3. State and explain something about you that only your closest friends would know about you.

4. What is your “comedy fetish?” (What is the one thing in the world that makes you laugh the most?) (i.e. America’s Funniest Videos, people falling down stairs, a favorite comedian, etc.)

5. If you had a chance to become an apprentice for any famous person or fictional character of your choice, who would they be and why?

6. What is the funniest joke you know?

7. If you could go back in time to undo something you did in your past or do something in your past that you neglected to do, what would it be or why?

8. What piece of writing are you most proud of creating?

9. What would you consider a perfect day?

10. If you can make anyone in the world fall in love with you, who would they be and why?


The rules:

Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.
Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.) At the top of this post, I’ve included a the image you can use for your 2016 Liebster Award.
For the 2016 Liebster Award, I will be shaking things up! Write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own. Explain why you like the blog, provide links.
Provide 10 random facts about yourself. (This year I’m making this optional. If you wish to engage with your readers it’s a great idea to include random facts about you.)
Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 200 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)
List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here.) Once you have written and published it, you then have to:
Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post or mine if you don’t have all the information so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!)

Wild And Wicked

Hello to my wild and wicked fallen angels! I have been following thesarahdoughty for quite a while now. She is a brilliant and strong writer! I highly recommend that you check out this post from her as well as any other content from her blog. Please read it! I hope you enjoy “Wild and Wicked” by thesarahdoughty! 🙂

Sarah Doughty

It was the wickedness of your soul
that drew me to you. That wild glimmer
in your eyes, held me captive. Every breath
was a gentle whispering, like a hummingbird
in flight. Together, we conquered. Together,
we prevailed. Together, time was our enemy.
At last, together, we lost it all.

© Sarah Doughty

For the #MayBookPrompts – And Then There Were None

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The War on Grindr Hill

Being a whore is like fighting in a war,
You have to convince yourself that man is nothing but an object.
I always hope that he will burst into life and sweep me off my feet
Yet I anticipate that he never will.
He’s like me;
He’s dead inside.
Shooting him with my loaded gun would be redundant.
I wish there was a blue fairy to animate him,
But if wishes were horses,
We’d all ride.
Thoughts of “no expectations” never reach the surface
For the battlefield is too violent.
I’ll never be the same again.
It changes me forever.
No going back.
My looks aren’t everything.
I may be handsome,
But I’m not Helen of Troy.
So I must retreat into the catacombs upon my noble steed,
Or at least try.
This war will only result in bloodshed.
I have faith that peace is on the other side of every warrior’s descent.
The good is never easy,
The easy never good.

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations!