Meaning from the Strangest Places

1. The orgy scene from the Sausage Party film represents their acceptance of their inevitable demise due to man’s undeniable craving for sustenance.

2. In the Looney Tunes cartoon, the roadrunner represents God and the coyote represents man, endlessly chasing the Divine but never quite reaching it.

3. Scrat’s misadventures in the Ice Age film franchise symbolizes that man’s lust is the destruction of mankind itself. (He tries to “get his nut,” but it always results in catastrophe)

Good Stems From Evil

I had a friend who asked me one time, “Why does evil exist?”

And he caught me off-guard, but then again, he was very religious and he tends to question a lot of arbitrary things, to the point where he becomes a nuisance.

So I told him that “the existence of evil is necessary.”

He said, “What? Why? Why would you say such a horrible thing?”

And I said, “Yes, there’s a lot of horrible things that go on in the world but there’s so many beautiful things that go on too. And it’s the evil things like the natural disasters and hunger and homelessness and things like that that bring people together. For instance, like charity, nonprofit organizations, soup kitchens… like people are actually willing to volunteer some of their time without getting paid just to help someone else get fed. How great is that?! And there are state benefits for people who aren’t as fortunate in paying their bills or taking care of their children financially. And nonprofit organizations… People, who spend their whole lives creating something from nothing to aid others, and they don’t even expect any compensation either. I don’t think there’d be as much compassion for each other if we were all perfect… Okay, not perfect, but fortunate, if we were all… good. We wouldn’t need to be compassionate. It would be like, okay, so that person is okay, I’m okay, so we’re just gonna keep it moving.”

My friend nodded slowly at me. It looked as if he was going to interrupt me, but then, I guess he wanted to give his loquacious nature a rest.

“People wouldn’t be able to relate to each other on a deeper level, they wouldn’t be able to have opportunities to help each other because there would be no need for that. So yes, horrible things do occur in the world. Murder, rape, poverty, starvation, violence…”

His eyes widened at the mention of the word “rape,” as if it was an evil incantation of some kind, a form of dark magic. I’m surprised he didn’t utter a prayer or something.

“However, I wouldn’t suggest overlooking the good either. The good that already exists, and the good that stems from evil. I believe, with all my heart, that there’s more good in this world than there is evil because odds are that someone else went through something as horrible as you. Maybe not as severe, or perhaps more severe than you. I don’t always say ‘oh, woe is me’ because we are all in between two very opposite extremes.”

My buddy smiled as his eyes phased into a more crimson tint. I felt the sensation of flattery because I knew he was now resisting the urge to indulge in potato chips that were becoming stale in his cupboard.

“And that’s okay! We’re all in different walks of life. Just the fact that we can stick together like at AA meetings or at psych wards where we can meet new friends, we can meet other people who understand what we’re going through in one way or another. How wonderful is that? And the fact that the human experience doesn’t comprise entirely of the good and the bad, it’s not all black and white, there’s a gray area. And that gray area gives birth to so much life. And I’m just grateful that I’m a human being, that I’m a person, and that I can analyze and accept and acknowledge that good stems from evil. The existence of evil is necessary indeed. It seems like sacrifices must be made for the greater good. For society to evolve, for people’s perspectives to broaden, and open minds to cherish all the new innovations and new ideals that come from the darkness.”

My friend just stared intently at me. He probably thought I was some sort of prophet at this point. Or maybe I’m just overselling myself, and he’s just stoned off his ass. But I like to think, at least, I finally rendered him speechless.

Xrotica: Ménage à Trois

My ass is an adult playground… and a children’s graveyard. Love doesn’t exist when I live like this. I casually think of death within ten minutes of waking up every single morning. But this is the price I pay for the past I’ve endured and the sin that I submit to each and every day. So… let’s begin, shall we?

I usually only fuck with older men. You know, the cute and cuddly bears that do no wrong. Riiight… Anyway, I have recently come into contact with another cub. A three-year-younger white guy named – let’s call him “Jay.” I met him through one of my best friends. I didn’t think twice about him when we had first met. Jay is a young white gangster with shaggy hair and green eyes.  He had a girlfriend he was madly in love with. Jay probably still is, I don’t doubt that for a second. The first time we met had been with a group of friends. (Think quantity over quality…) However, it was the second time we hung out – with just the best friend I originally met him through – that the ice was broken. Jay suggested that we should have sex. His girlfriend was nowhere to be found, and he had wanted to experiment with another man. After a brief hesitation on my part, I complied, but I didn’t want my best friend to witness what was to happen. My best friend is straight and very accepting of the gay community, but watching two men have sex right in front of him would have crossed the line. And because I live in a studio apartment, my best friend retreated into the restroom, the only area in my apartment where he couldn’t see us commit sodomy…

The third time around, Jay came over to my place. Just me and him. He confessed that he’s bisexual and that he really enjoyed his first gay fuck with me. I was flattered, even honored to hear that. Jay is still in the closet to this day. I’d already had a sip of this promiscuous lifestyle so I’d reasoned I was drunk enough to deal with it. He puts up quite a tough front and a lot of walls defend the opalescence of his vulnerable heart. But as an Empath, I can see right through all of that. His girlfriend left him for one of his long time friends. Jay said so many awful things about her but I mentioned that I had been where he was. I really hurt my ex-fiance. I did horrible things that ruined his reputation and his prize-winning Narcissistic ego. I told Jay that he didn’t hate her for what she did to him, he was merely heartbroken. And so Jay and I made artificial love. I did it so that I can cheer up a friend and he did it to forget about his loss for the time being. Sex is how I’ve cheered a lot of people up. I’m powerless in every other way. That day was nothing special. We did the basics. Blowjobs and anal sex. Jay wasn’t interested in making out or rimming or even being a bottom. To me, it was just another day, but to Jay… I simply don’t know. Yet afterwards, he requested a threesome with me and one of my fuck boys, Dee. My sexual exploits with Dee were legendary.  He tends to disappear for a few months at a time, but Dee always came back to me. I guess my body alone wasn’t good enough to satisfy Jay though. I didn’t take offense like I would have in the past because now I understood the feeling. Nothing satisfies me anymore either. And so I called Dee and left him a message I had no doubt he would respond to.

The very next morning, Jay and I were just playing video games when Dee called me and informed me that he was interested in the threesome shortly after I sent him a picture of Jay in reply to his demand. I always pictured my first threesome to be me along with two bears but Jay and I tag teaming Dee seemed like the way to go. No complaints from me! I showed Jay a picture of Dee 15 minutes prior to the impromptu event. I prepped him about how Dee worked in the sack. I had to make sure Jay wouldn’t be a fucking pussy and bail at the last minute. Having a threesome had been on my bucket list for years. So I quickly gargled some mouthwash, and displayed my collection of porn, lube, and condoms I usually kept atop my dresser during those dry spells I experienced at times. I slipped on the black t-shirt Dee gave me to promote his band, some sports shorts, and a pair of grey sandals just in time for Dee to call again, confirming that he was downstairs. Jay was very nervous but I assured him that Dee was a good man. We rushed down to retrieve him. My face was beaming with delight at the sight of him. What a beautiful man! Dee had to be around 15 years older than me. His haircut looked like it was done within a day or two before. I loved when he got a haircut. I mean, I would fuck with him regardless but that nice edge-up was a definite plus. I practically jumped on him like a schoolboy coming home to find out his deadbeat dad had finally returned. It was the polite thing to do for me to introduce Dee to Jay and vice versa before we all trekked back up to my bedchamber.

I completely forgot Jay was in the room with us when I threw myself on Dee. We began to make out heavy. Our pink, slimy serpents were raging war in our respective dystopias. I held him very tight as both my arms wrapped around his tanned neck, in total submission to a passionate, overdue embrace. Dee played with my bubble butt over my shorts before reaching into the cookie jar. A couple of minutes passed before Dee pulled back and reminded me of Jay’s silent existence, staring in awe of our short-lived, make-out session. His wonderful breath smelled like weed and cigarettes as he whispered in my ear for me to ease my other friend’s discomfort. I kind of felt bad so to compensate for my rude behaviour, I went on my knees as if Jay was my religion, in unholy communion for the bread and wine I received for mere lustful pleasure. Jay’s dick was slightly longer and much wider than Dee’s dick, however it was Dee whose been playing the game far longer than him, even longer than me. Dee knows how to use his meaty extension much better too. Also, Dee was open to ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, AND ANYTIME AT ALL DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA! Anyway, I sucked Jay’s dick like a savage. My tongue licking the shaft of his cock every time my jaw started to ache. His balls were huge! Like the size of cherry tomatoes. Dee eased his way to a crouching position before sucking my dick in return. He nibbled my inner thighs and took a huge whiff of my unique pubic smell he became so used to. Like father, like son, I mimicked everything Dee did to me onto Jay. This went on for quite a while.

Soon enough, Dee stood up and circled around me just to plop his sexy bear ass back down directly behind me to eat me out. His tongue! HIS TONGUE! HIS TONGUE! Oh my god! Wooooooooowwww!!!! It swerved every which way, exploring every crevice as the rosy serpent ceased to impede on its expedition despite it being difficult to do so given that I was kneeling as I continued to deep throat Jay. I suddenly stood up and bent down to continue the fellatio. At this point, Jay grew weary of standing so he sat down on my couch in front of my plasma screen TV. This gave Dee much better access to rimming my plump, hairy ass. Dee’s a fucking animal! Good thing I do yoga on a regular basis because I bent down pretty low. I can press my whole palms on the ground without bending my knees at all. Jay was moaning pretty loud, and Dee shoved my head down a bit further onto Jay’s cock as he shimmied his own cock into my spit-covered hole. Dee didn’t even need to use the lube. His saliva did the trick. So Dee started fucking me bareback as I allowed the push-pull motion to maintain my mouth’s course of action in regards to Jay. I loved how Dee’s cock was just the right size to pleasure me but not so big that it hurt.

Jay’s eyes widened like cherry pies.He must have been surprised that I was able to take Dee’s cock without a groan or grimace. Not even my facial expression changed. If Jay’s eyes were shut to begin with, he wouldn’t have known Dee was pounding me from the back at full velocity. Suddenly, I stood up and commanded Dee to suck Jay off. My jaw needed a break! Geez! So at that point, it was Dee who took my place as the monkey in the middle. I laid on my back first so that I can arch my head and eat him out, you know, to return the favor. I gnawed on, over, under, and in between his ass cheeks. It sounded like I was slurping some Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup and shit. Mmm, mmm good! If he didn’t want to use lube or use a condom, then I wasn’t either. Fuck, it’s the least I could do. There was a small part of me that resents and envies Dee. even now, as I’m typing this for your pleasure. He can have his fucking cake and eat it too. There’s a husband waiting for him at his home, and yet his husband had always been completely fine with all the shit Dee does. I slapped his ass really hard on his bear paw tattoo on his right butt cheek. My middle finger went in his ass at first, shoving it in all the way over and over again! Then two fingers… three… I look back and I wish I’d at least attempted to fist him. Maybe next time…. I clenched my whole arm around his neck, choking him moderately and pulling him away from his oral activity. I bit his ears, licked his neck, and kissed his cheeks and forehead while I pulled his head back. I traced his collar-bone while I asked Dee if he enjoyed my abuse. He nodded earnestly. I loosened my grip on his throat and demanded him to verbalize the affirmation. Dee yelled out “YES!” Then, I let go to spread my legs and bend my knees slightly to try to find a good angle to penetrate my Philanderer. I slowly tapped my uncut cock just above his hole as I watched him devour Jay’s dick. Jay’s eyes were closed tight as a seemingly permanent relaxed smile was displayed on his scruffy face. That turned me on quick. It was the same way Dee sucked me off a few minutes before. I jammed my engorged sex organ into him real hard as I held his waist like it was a life-preserver.

What a feeling of ecstasy! I felt the warmth of his hole encasing my dick whole. Perhaps I was bumping uglies directly on his prostate gland. My cock was never this hard when I jerked off alone during so many sleepless nights. Jay smiled at me and I winked at him in return. Desire’s needs were being met. My world spun at a rapid pace. I shut my eyes while I quickly gyrated my hips. Without looking, I held Dee’s head down on Jay’s cock all the way until he gagged. Jay was in it. He was enjoying himself and I can tell that he no longer felt nervous or uncomfortable at all. Quite the contrary, in fact!

Without notice, Jay held Dee away from his cock because he didn’t want to cum too soon. The perfect syncopation ceased. We all got stood up straight. Dee went into the restroom and gurgled some of my mouthwash, from the sound of it. The action moved from the couch to the bed. I went on all fours at the edge of the bed like a good little doggie, grabbed a pillow to hold and scream into when the time came, and waited for Jay to delve into my mystery. He smeared some lube on his dick and my fat ass. Like I said before, Jay was not into rimming at all. Abruptly, Jay jammed his penis in full force. Ahhhhhhh!!!! His dick had a lot of girth. Motha fucka didn’t even fucking ease it in. It was like a serial killer was chasing him so he had to fucking shove the key into the car ignition as quickly as possible. Fucking asshole! I was okay though. You see, I have been fucked by black guys with the biggest dicks you can imagine so I knew that after a minute or so, my asshole would relax until it became a numbing sensation.

Dee rushed out of the restroom right after spitting out the mouthwash. He marveled at how well I was taking Jay’s anal abuse even as he circled around my bed and laid on his back so I could suck his hairy daddy dick. A new indecorous act took place of the old. Jay fucked me good! All the while, I stared into Dee’s dark, beady eyes as I applied his pink lipstick before succumbing to the bittersweet fellatio once more. However, I couldn’t keep my lips around Dee’s cock for even seconds at a time. Jay fucked me wild! So Dee decided to get back up and watch from the sidelines, observing his cubby being taken from behind by another man. Who knew Dee was a voyeur? He witnessed my face all skewed and distorted as I continued to endure the wonderful pain Jay inflicted on my insides. Dee was smiling ear to ear when he reached his hand out to pet my head. I managed to grab his veiny hand and suck all on his fingers and in between them. Then I resumed resting both my palms on the sheets while Dee let me keep on licking his hand rather vehemently. I stared into his eyes again, smiling through it all, proving to him that my ass’s resilience rivaled my mind’s. Dee’s watch startlingly started beeping very loudly. Apparently, he had to be somewhere else. So, once again, we all stood up.

While Dee got dressed, Jay and I sat on my couch and began jerking each other off. I seductively asked him if he could stay just a bit longer so we can all cum together before his abrupt departure. Unfortunately, he declined my extended invitation. Jay just listened as Dee and I implored in a brief and open dialogue. He was a guitarist in his band. I owned a guitar but every time Dee agreed to teach me how to play, we always just end up fucking. Jay automatically started jerking himself off once I got up to give Dee a hug and kiss farewell. As always, Dee told me he’ll call or text me when he gets the chance for a future rendezvous. I never held my breath but I knew he always contacted me eventually. I unlocked my front door and slid the chain off before he left.

Two cubs resumed pleasuring each other. Jay offered to fuck me again, but by then, my asshole was so damn sore. So we laid on my quilt to finally finish our handjobs. I felt his eyes on me, but I closed mine and pretended Dee had stayed just a bit longer…


My Third Award: The Liebster Award

The Liebster Award


I have been nominated by   Please go check them out!


1. What was the most scariest moment in your life?

I would have to say when my mother kicked me out on my 18th birthday because my lifestyle didn’t fit into her cookie-cutter, Islamic expectations she had for me since I was born. I was homeless and was doing unspeakable things to survive living in the streets before I finally got the help I needed.

2. What or who inspires your writing?

I honestly believe it’s all the trauma and abuse I went through that ultimately became my muse. I learned and gained more inspiration from the awful things I have endured than from all the good times I had. The loss of my ex-fiance was also a big help in aiding and strengthening my literary abilities since I first founded my blog.

3. How have you overcame writers block?

That’s easy! I look into other blogs to get ideas. Don’t get me wrong! I don’t plagiarize! It’s the different styles, themes, and vocabulary used in other blogs that turns on the metaphorical light-bulb hovering just above my head.

4. Are you published, would you like to be published?

I’m currently self-published. As of now, I published my novel, The Pandemonium Chronicles: The Merge between Heaven and Hell, and my poetry book, Trials and Tribulations, on Kindle Direct Publishing. I would LOVE to be published by Scholastic or Random House someday. 

5. What do you think is your best poem or short story?

Despite the ascension in likes and comments for my more recent posts, I must confess that one of my much older poems, Triskelion, will always be the best poem I ever wrote. It was the epitome of my adolescent years rolled up into a poetic form called a Ballade.

6. Your favorite novel?

Good question! My favorite series (that’s not mainstream) is Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake novels. However, if I could only choose one, I would say the first book, Guilty Pleasures, hands down! Guilty Pleasures introduced me to the wonderful parallel world where supernatural beings and the legal system are intermingled. For instance, vampires are considered legal citizens so Anita must acquire a warrant before she can legally stake a vampire.

7. If you could meet an author who would you meet?

J. K. Rowling! I love her! I love how she was homeless and living in her car, writing Sorcerer’s Stone on Starbucks napkins! How incredible was that?! When I was homeless, I just wanted to die. I didn’t even have the mental capacity at the time to write anything. I want to ask her how she did it all!

8. If you were trapped on an island what three items would you have?

A huge notebook, one of those giant novelty pencils (they come with their own pencil sharpener so that’s included), and The Bible. You’d be surprised how many ideas you can get from its passages. I would say a phone or a knife, but there’s no way to charge a phone on an island and for the knife, I believe I’m resourceful enough to make a weapon out of materials in the wild.

9. What is one thing in the world you’d like to change?

I would make it so that hatred doesn’t exist. It just baffles me how often I witness people holding grudges for years on end or plotting against each other. It’s madness! Like I always say, we’re all human subjected to trials and tribulations regardless of who we are or what we have that differs from another. We all experience love, tragedy, despair, misery, hope, longing, fleeting spurts of joy, and heart-break. Can we just agree to disagree?! Can we learn to forgive and practice radical acceptance?! Life is hard for everyone!

10. How long have you been writing?

The first memory I recall writing was when I was in sixth grade and my English teacher told the class to write a short story about anything. I fell in love with free writing right then and there! No bounds and no limitations! So overall, I’d say I have been writing for around ten years now. I’m never going to stop!


Ten Random Facts About Me:

1. I can snap my fingers and dribble a basketball much better with my left hand even though I’m right-handed!

2. I just love TV Land! It’s my favorite TV station and it’s where I saw my first crush, Desi Arnaz, on I Love Lucy.

3. I am a Fitness Junkie! I do yoga everyday and I work out three times a week for two hours each time. 

4. I made up a term called a “comedy fetish” which I define as the one thing that makes you laugh the most. Mine is decapitation, preferably in horror films. (What is yours?)

5. You know that movie, The Water Boy, with Adam Sandler? Well, I can do a perfect impersonation of his character. It’s hilarious!

6. I once flipped out and got restrained in a hospital… on a dare!

7. I’m proficiently trained in Boxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I’m no sissy!

8. I consider myself a Spiritual Empath. It’s the ability to sense the continuous external emotional stimuli that leads to the confusion of one’s own emotions with those of others around them. The simplest way to describe them is through their ability to absorb the emotional frequencies of others, just like an “emotional sponge.”

9. I used to spread rumors about myself in high school so that people would stay away from me. It worked! 😀

10. I made a Facebook account for my pet cat, Silly, apart from my own personal one and made it look like we’re married. Our first year anniversary was on June 1st of this year!

My nominees are:

Game of Words



Living With Depression


Jessica Torres

Ten Questions for my Nominees:

1. What is the one thing that makes you feel the most joy?

2. If you could have any superpower, which one would you choose and why?

3. State and explain something about you that only your closest friends would know about you.

4. What is your “comedy fetish?” (What is the one thing in the world that makes you laugh the most?) (i.e. America’s Funniest Videos, people falling down stairs, a favorite comedian, etc.)

5. If you had a chance to become an apprentice for any famous person or fictional character of your choice, who would they be and why?

6. What is the funniest joke you know?

7. If you could go back in time to undo something you did in your past or do something in your past that you neglected to do, what would it be or why?

8. What piece of writing are you most proud of creating?

9. What would you consider a perfect day?

10. If you can make anyone in the world fall in love with you, who would they be and why?


The rules:

Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.
Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.) At the top of this post, I’ve included a the image you can use for your 2016 Liebster Award.
For the 2016 Liebster Award, I will be shaking things up! Write a 150-300 word post about your favourite blog that is not your own. Explain why you like the blog, provide links.
Provide 10 random facts about yourself. (This year I’m making this optional. If you wish to engage with your readers it’s a great idea to include random facts about you.)
Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have a less than 200 followers. (Note that you can always ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display a widget that lets the readers know this information!)
List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here.) Once you have written and published it, you then have to:
Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post or mine if you don’t have all the information so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!)

Xrotica: Another Bear Enters the Cave

So while Dee had been absent since the events that occurred in Xrotica 3, I haven’t just been sitting idly by, waiting for him to call. There’s other men I fuck with. And now that it’s Summer vacation, I have plenty of time to spend with my fuckboys in between periods of looking for a Summer job.

Another fuck buddy I have (let’s call him: “Pro”) got in touch with me a couple nights ago on Growlr. He complimented my profile picture and I did the same. Pro asked if I recognized him. I told him yes. He was actually a teacher I had a while back in high school. A teacher that I actually had quite the crush on for the longest. And I told him just that. I asked if I was too forward but he assured me it was okay. Pro wanted me to initiate whatever would happen next. We were just talking, beating around the bush. I can tell that he didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable or perhaps afraid that a man twice my age, who was once in a higher hierarchy than I was, would want to get intimate with me.

I never had sex with a teacher before, but I always fantasized about it. I watched the teacher and student pornos sometimes to envision this beautiful older man bending me down on his desk to teach me a private lesson I had to stay after school for. Just the thought of it made me precum as Pro and I continued our chat.

He said he was bored and that we can hang out anytime. I told him he can could come right then and there. Why wait? We’re both free. I could host and he could drive so it worked out. So Pro gave me his number and told me to call him in that instant. We talked some more. There was still barely any sexual innuendo uttered between us.

Eventually, he arrived downstairs with a bottle of Hennessey, Red Bull, some Cool Ranch Doritos, and a deck of playing cards. I led him into my bedchambers, but I made sure to hide any condoms, lube, and porn that was laying around my apartment so that it wouldn’t be too obvious. All Pro said was that we were going to drink together, but I had this twinge in my groin that suggested I was going to get lucky tonight.

I told Pro to get comfortable. He placed his belongings down on my living room table. Half the bottle of Hennessey was already consumed. A drunk driver… how reckless. Recklessness is an aphrodisiac, at least it is to me. He told me to finish the rest. I mixed the remaining contents of liquor with the Red Bull before my head was swimming. He hadn’t undressed yet so I didn’t either. Pro asked if I wanted to play strip poker and I said sure. First, he lost and I requested for his shoes to come off. Then, I lost and he wanted me to take off my jacket. And as we were playing, I felt butterflies and goosebumps caress in and on my body respectively. I was going to have sex with my teacher! It seemed surreal, like a dream morphed from nonexistence into my own realm of reality.

Pro had this sexy smile the whole time. The same way he stared at me so long ago. He would be in the middle of one of his interesting lectures, and then he would suddenly flash that exact smile at me while his crow’s feet near his dark eyes highlighted his delight in my presence. Like Dee, he was also a much older hispanic bear that took plenty of interest in my young rican cub body.

At some point, I was completely naked. His eyes soaked in my nudity so his future self could reminisce on this event during solo missions on lonely nights. That’s when he won the game.

We both stood up in unison. Pro knew I wanted him to even the playing field. I glanced at my own body and then at his. I relished in the sight of the mature male figure I had once only imagined would look like in the classroom. The carpet matched the drapes. White hairs swirled with dark brown. A mixture of light and darkness growing all over him. I wrapped my arms around him and allowed our tongues to embrace. I lost myself in our ravenous kiss. I wondered if he was thinking similar thoughts of me all this time as long as I have, or if this idea just occurred to him that night. It was so warm. I felt his face with my sweaty palms and began to kiss his neck before he silently ushered me to my bed. Pro laid down on his back first. I climbed on top of him, but he patted the area of my sheets beside him. So I laid there next to him and sucked his nipples. His nipples were huge, even slightly bigger than mine. I nibbled them like a kitten getting nursed by its mother.

Confessions of his dirty mind came in hushed whispers directly into my right ear. He admitted that he wanted this since he saw me in a play where I was dressed as a woman. One of my questions were put to rest. Pro wanted to fuck me that night in the parking lot outside the school while I was still in costume. He knew I wanted him back then like I was having him at that moment. There were times he wanted me to follow him into his office after class so I could deep throat him in the privacy of his workplace. Sometimes, Pro even fantastized about me and another student tasting his front and back at the same time. All these hidden truths came to life in my mind as I continued to abuse his nipples up until he grabbed my head and pushed it onto his dick. His pubic aroma eradicated my sinuses. I indulged in his bulge until the magic inflating it reached full potential. He ordered me to ride his dick with my fat ass. I asked if that was my latest assignment. He vigorously nodded while he made me his bitch. That was my nickname. Bitch. As I rode him, I choked him and he held my thighs roughly. Soon enough, his hips started to cramp. His agility and stamina made me forget how old he really was. I got off him and I gently massaged where his pain was. Pro moaned at the soft feel of my touch. Then, I rested my hand on his face and asked if he was okay. He confirmed.

That was when I went on my hands and knees. Pro grabbed the lube and a condom. He smeared my ass with it. I wished my bear licked my honeypot before refilling it with honey, but it must have slipped his intelligent mind in the eagerness to penetrate me. I gasped in excitement at the exact second it slipped in. I yelled aloud my wonderment as to whether or not I was being a good boy. He patted me on my back with praise. Aye, papi! Daddy! Fuck me! fuck me! FUCK ME! It took a long time but Pro didn’t even cum. He became lethargic so we laid back down and jerked off together. He urged me to give him my “leche” because my milk belonged to him. But it was Pro’s volcano that erupted all over me first. It was so warm, glistening under the light of the TV. My TV tried so hard to drown out the sounds that Yogi Bear and Boo Boo made in the middle of the night. This made me so fucking horny! But it still took Pro to finger my fat ass for a few minutes until I finally was able to serve him the milk he so desperately craved.

Artificial love continued to feign such realness when we piled into my shower to wash up. I rubbed his cock with soap and water to scrub it nice and clean. I told him he was adorable, so fucking cute, that I wanted him to be my teddy bear to hold for the night. Unfortunately, Pro couldn’t stay the night. But he did linger a bit longer. Pro and I talked shit about the other teachers and that he actually fucked another teacher I had that same year.

At one point, we had a little heart-to-heart. It was wonderful! We spoke of past relationships and we shared things in confidence. Then that smile came back and he suggested we take part in a threesome. On his phone, he revealed his other fuck buddies’ pictures and videos as a means to shop for a third addition to our sin. One of his black friends had a big fucking cock! Pro mentioned he wanted to watch me get fucked by this friend of his. However, I suggested that Dee should be that third addition. He said he’ll let me know and for me to send him a picture of Dee once he left.

So, Pro made sure that he had all his stuff. But he let me keep the bag of Doritos and the deck of playing cards. Pro said I should practice with the cards for next time I hosted for him. How sweet!

Finally, we both hovered around my front door. I wore my undies and my jacket with my hairy chest showing while Pro was now fully clothed once more. He gave me a kiss goodbye. Yet I pretended for a brief second to trap him in my apartment. It was cute. Pro made this face until I unlocked my door. He turned around on his way out to further soak in my image to embed it for future use. I gave him a very flirtatious look before I playfully closed the door in his face.

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations!

Mania I

I’m so sick of people in general. I bet no one would like this post. Maybe now you will because I bet you would’t. You just wanna prove me wrong, huh? Perhaps I just want to get attention. That would explain why I’m posting this on a public domain. But no one cares. Even if you like it, you still don’t care. Likes are meaningless. Comments are meaningless. I don’t give a fuck about your opinion unless it strokes my ego. Even then it’s not enough. It’s never enough. What are we living for? To pay bills? Fornicate? Consume food? Earn money to further fuel your hedonistic ways? Fuck this. The only reason I’m still alive is because I don’t have the balls to kill myself. FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!! If you made it this far, congratulations for nothing. Because only I exist and you are all just a figment of my imagination, both unknown and repressed. Seek sacrilege from an undeniable, corruptible society in which everything is labeled for your own selfish needs. The human race is doomed to hell for eternity. If you’re not benefiting me in any way, whether it’s money or sex or connections, then you are nothing to me. But why do you care? I’m just another human being suffering on this wretched planet. What’s the point of anything? What’s the point of subjection and free will when it just leaves you all alone? Seeing the remnants of family members during holidays just to not feel alone one day of the year. Where’s Jesus? Where’s God? Where’s anything holy in this cataclysmic world we all just happen to occupy? Let the end of the world commence in unholy communion. I don’t give a fuck!!!! Do you love my writing style? insert meaningless heart here: ❤

Xrotica: The Return of Dee


Around three months had passed since I’ve shared my body with Dee. I jacked off every night thinking about all our various sexual encounters in the past. The time we fucked in a deserted park at two o’clock in the morning. All the times he swallowed my load. That time he let me cum on his face as I screamed out “that’s all, folks!”

Dee was the best sex I ever had.

There’s a part of me that’s hurt that he’s married and didn’t tell me until over a year after our physical relationship began. But I care about him deeply and I know any love I have for him won’t be reciprocated, at least not fully. However, I accepted the way things were.

Sometimes, Dee backs off from me months at a time because by now, he can tell when I’m starting to get too attached to him. I can tell he feels bad that I have these feelings he can’t return, but he cannot deny the pure sexual chemistry that we garner for one another.

He messaged me on Growlr that morning by unlocking his private photos followed by a “hey.” My initial reaction was to be upset, but I knew he kept his distance for a good reason. Once I saw his picture of his bare ass in a jockstrap and one of his beautiful penis, I confessed my undying lust for him almost immediately. So we agreed to meet that evening after I came back from college for the day. Eventually, the time came, cued by the “im here” message ding on the app.

I rushed downstairs to retrieve him, but I paused before I turned the corner. I took a deep breath. I allowed a few seconds to pass with absolute silence and anticipation before I opened the locked door for him. I thought about just grabbing him and making out with him right there in the lobby, but I fought that urge and played it cool. We exchanged a bit of small talk while climbing up the two flights of stairs to my apartment.

Waiting for us was the plethora of pornos and condoms I liked to display on the table prior to his arrival.

I told him calmly to get himself comfortable. As I turned around to put my shoes away, he hugged me and I hugged him back. I almost forgot how his hugs felt. He was a gay bear and I was his gay cub. I rubbed my face on his beard. I noticed he grew a few grey hairs since the last time we fucked. It was cute. I kissed his neck a bit until after I felt my dick twitching, engorged with excitement.

Before it went far, he subtly ended the embrace and gave me a present from the contents of his backpack. It was a black and yellow jockstrap. It reminded me of Batman. Oh, how I love Batman… It was the second jockstrap Dee ever gave me and I loved it. Dee pulled some other stuff out from his backpack: lube, some weed, and poppers (I think that’s what they’re called; the nose stuff you inhale to get high).

Then, he mentioned he needed to rinse off in my shower and I said that was fine.

I sat there on the couch playing with myself and watching this porno where the central premise was older men fucking younger men. I enjoyed the company of older men than I did with guys my age. It’s always been that way. When I was a child, it was my dad at home or my male teachers at school that satisfied me. Then it was my ex whose 40 now. Mind you, I’m turning 22 next week. Anyway, Dee came out the shower and quickly dried himself off with my towel. He appeared completely nude. I didn’t know if it was my imagination or if I wasn’t paying enough attention before but he had a lot of tattoos. The only tattoo he had that I was definitely familiar with was the bear paw on his right buttcheek because I liked to hit it.

Dee put his clothes back on so we can catch up and update each other about our lives. Sometimes I wished we didn’t talk like that because it made it more difficult to contain my emotions. We began to smoke some weed and inhale the poppers. My head was swimming! I started laughing uncontrollably. Dee thought it was cute. Then, we made out heavy. My tongue explored his in ways I only imagined doing in the last few months. I exchanged a torrent of kisses all over his face and neck. His collarbone was quite prominent for a man his size. Dee’s skin was so soft beneath my hungry fingertips.

I got off him abruptly. He stood up and pulled his dick out of his bright red boxer briefs. I grabbed it and shoved it vigorously into my mouth. I hugged his waist as I took brief breaks by licking his balls and fingering him. I licked the shaft of his cock, teasing him for a few seconds before continuing to indulge in sexual intoxication. He kept putting the poppers near my nose for me to inhale. I kept getting headrushes and his cock stifled my stoner laughs.

Suddenly, he told me to stop so he wouldn’t cum too soon and ushered me up so we stood up and made out even more. I wanted us to last as long as possible without cumming but that wasn’t an easy task for either of us.

I suggested we resume on my bed. He laid down on his back and then I climbed on top of him. My breathing heaved in unleashed desire while we continued our kiss. Dee sat up slowly so that I was sitting on his lap. My legs stretched on either side of his hips. He pushed me on my back and took hold of my inflated cock. Woooooowww!!!! I loved giving head but being a bottom verse, it was rare for a guy to want to suck me off for a change. I felt his tongue latch onto my foreskin before he peeled it back. This gorilla knew how to unpeel a banana without his hands. His tongue went in circles! Clockwise… counterclockwise…. He put both my balls into his mouth until it was as if it just hit him that my asshole was a couple inches away. Good thing I do yoga regularly because he held my legs way back in order to eat my ass out like he was a homeless man at a free buffet. Daaaammmmnnnnn!!! I liked getting my ass rimmed a bit more than getting head. I kept inhaling the poppers every few minutes. Dee alternated between tasting my dick and my ass. It felt like ecstasy! I haven’t felt that good in so long! I forgot about my ex, my homework, and all my worries and fears.

After what felt like forever, he shimmied over me so that his dick was in my face. I arched my neck to reach for it with just my lips. He fucked my face good. I breathed through my nose and tapped his thigh every time I gagged. He grabbed my head and fucked it deeper and faster. We 69’d for a while until his fear of a premature orgasm came back. He pulled away. I wanted it back in my mouth but I knew it was better to hold off of sucking him for a little bit. We got up again, and Dee went on his knees and had seconds. My sexy bear loved to eat and I wasn’t gonna deprive him of my food. I thought I was gonna cum so I stopped him and made him lay on his stomach. I ate him out while tracing his bear paw tattoo. I spread those cheeks far apart and just stared at his bare ass for a moment. Next time I have enough money to spare, I’m gonna get a bear paw on each of my buttcheeks and I’ll make sure that another sexy bear applies it. I stared into his gaping asshole. So hairy and pink and beautiful. I tried to memorize how it looked with my spit all over it so I could jerk off to that memory later that night. I gnawed at every area just outside his hole before heading right back into it. I reached for a condom and his bottle of lube and smeared his ass with it. I put on the condom fast but swiftly. Dee arched his back just a little so that I had better access to penetration. I always knew when the car entered the garage whenever he moaned in surprise. The bed was rapidly shaking as I laid on top of him and shoved his head on one side. Every time he moved his head, I shoved it back to the position I wanted it to be in. He kept groaning louder as I was in balls deep. I kissed his neck and whispered, “you like when a cub dominates you, huh, papi?” Dee nodded earnestly before I went faster. All this excitement kept making my dick slip out too many times. So we decided to just jerk off in each other’s arms. I stared into his dark brown eyes, not once did they blink. Sometimes, my line of sight veered to his dick and his impatient hands, so eager to achieve orgasm. He hovered over me as his hot load squirted onto my tummy, chest, and neck. Dee fingered me a bit before I came too. I moaned loudly as my cum started off landing on my thighs and stomach until the last of it blinded me completely. It splashed everywhere.

I wanted Dee to consume both our nonexistent children but he told me before that he had limited time before he had to go to a social gathering. It sucked that I didn’t have mouthwash at the time or else he probably would have cleaned my body of the moist, transparent fluid oozing down the sides of my body before it meandered down onto my bedsheets. He went into my bathroom as I wiped myself off with my jizz rag instead.

I laid there for a minute listening to my sink run and this sadness began to encase my thoughts once more. I didn’t want Dee to leave. I hated when he had to leave. But this was the sacrifice I had to make in order to maintain our beneficial friendship. I never knew when he’ll come back or if he’ll decide I’m getting too attached to him again. So once he was dressed, I asked if we can make this a weekly thing. Dee always saw through my smile and noticed my sad, puppy eyes that it attempted to hide. He hugged me once more and promised me that he would text me the next day. He knew I would miss him. Due to radical acceptance, I had to accept that he was married and that it was my choice to endure the pain of his absence along with the pleasure of his ongoing arrival.

The sex was so intense that Dee lost the top to his poppers vial. So he left behind the dried up remnants of it on my bathroom sink. He assured me that it was okay shortly after I began looking for it. Dee made sure he had everything he came in with apart from the jockstraps he gave me as well. I was already dressed, prepared to walk him down to his car, but he told me it was good enough to say goodbye in my apartment. I bade him farewell before he departed as our fuck session was in the beginning stages of becoming just another distant memory.



Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations!

An Introvert’s “Ice Cream Social”

(Click here to “Powerpuff Yourself” too!)

Relationship status: Single
Crushing: myself
Favorite food: bagels with cream cheese
Favorite color: navy blue
Favorite Music: pop, metal, hard rock, alternative
Talents: writing, singing, drawing, yoga
In love: no
Hobbies: blogging, working out, cross-dressing
Long/short hair: short
Height: 5’5
Jacket/Hoodie: jacket
Eye color: dark brown
Hair color: dark brown
Shirt color: [currently topless]
Jeans or shorts : Jeans
Get married: no
Have kids: nope, not even an “oopsy”
Daydream: all the time
Someone you love: a few lucky people
Someone you hate: I don’t condone hatred
Dream job: mental health psychologist
Got tattoos: 3
Got piercings: ears
Worst day of your life: the sum of all days
Best day of your life: It’s difficult to recall…
Biggest fear: immortality

The Ability To Pluck People From Existence

I used to think if I could choose any superpower I wanted, it would be telekinesis. But after reading this post, I decided to think outside the box. So now my favorite superpower would be to be able to travel from the material world to the spirit realm anytime I wanted. Not just through meditation, but my physical form too. Astral Traveling. Not Astral Projection because that would leave my physical vessel vulnerable in the material world. Anyway, check out deceasedrhymer’s post! Enjoy!