“It felt good to hurt you
To compare my life to yours
To see that I’m in a much better place in my life than you are in yours
Because it stroked my ego
Because sapping your energy fueled me with more Power
Because I finally had a target to unleash all my frustrations on
And I never meant it when I apologized
And I will hurt you again if you give me another opportunity
But despite everything
I wish you the best on your way”
“I would pin you down
like a father does
and have my way with you
whether you like it or not,
and I’m not going to stop
until I’m empty inside.”
I can’t see the landscape anymore.
It’s all obscured in my grief.
You have Jesus on your breath,
And He dances in my lies.
Pink serpents brawl to the death,
A sensation so divine.
Lovely intermission of a loner’s descent.
You have faith that I’m giving you what you want,
A faith misplaced keeping this addiction satisfied,
I pull away to prevent
Sin to be committed
On these many acres of longing.
To spare you a visit to the landscape,
Trekking through mountains of tenderness,
This drunken stupor in the Garden
Is not enough to not care,
To not make you tainted
By the landscape I painted.
“I have thwarted off evil many time before,
And I can’t build bridges from shore to shore,
I’m afraid we can’t see each other anymore,
I know you’re sorry but it’s either walls or a door,”
The memory of his words unearths my grave,
Setting free my tears that my heart has caged,
Like a ghost in the sheets,
A gaping mouth thrashing about in the night,
A force that must be contained,
Unruly is this juggernaut’s plight,
Present beyond life,
Beyond any means of control,
Persistent to alleviate some unfinished business,
Please reassure me that I’m not crazy.
The voices in my head will agree with you.
Great and terrible
This sadness conjures up waves
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Fire burns during its demise,
Its tears heal spiritual wounds,
Its past life makes it wise,
Its personal growth spans many moons,
Rebirth is penance’s salvation,
Its love everlasting,
Life and death happens so often,
Yet not one life is it unappreciating,
What am I?