Positive Resurrection

Smoldering alcove due to his presents presence,

His caramel skin lathered in a silky hew hue,

My empathic shield braking breaking decayed senescence,

Feminine voice laze lays with masculine hearts imbue

Love stains savored by lingering dark-brown stairs stares,

A pear pair of golden valleys caressed sensually,

Constructing a conversation full of suite sweet cares,

Existentialism will loos lose its portentous hold on me eventually

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

I love Florence and the Machine!

Watch “Queen Of Peace” on YouTube

The queen of peace is Virgin Mary, and she questions praying to her. Is it worth praying for soothing when she can conquer the world by herself?

Metaphorically, the queen is Florence, since the king is her lover. Florence feels like she’s always the one trying to keep the peace in their relationship, but never feels like it’s enough.

Good morning to my potentially busy fallen angels! Today I would like to discuss one of my favorite songs on Florence and the Machine’s newest album, How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful. I think the album itself is titled that because I noticed Florence is obsessed with the water element and the idea of drowning. Water is my element as well. Anyway, the song, Queen of Peace was so beautiful and powerful that I had to share it with my fallen angels! I have been talking about my ex a bit too much lately but this song definitely relates to my past relationship with him. I always felt like the one who had to initiate every step we took while we were together. Exchanging numbers, holding hands, first kiss, first… other stuff. And when we had an argument, I was the one to start the conversation and to forgive and make up. I was more invested in our relationship than he ever was. I am the Queen of Peace. Watching my king suffer for something that died far before we ever crossed paths, trying to save everything and everyone, but I realized that i couldn’t save him. His grief was too much to cure. His stubbornness chased me away. No matter how many times I crawled back to him. He’s the only person I felt weak and vulnerable with. This song is amazing! The instrumentals, her glorious voice, and her poetic words that paint pictures pertaining to life’s many inevitable trials and tribulations. How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful is Florence’s third album that came last month. Her first album was Lungs. The one with Dog Days Are Over. Then Ceremonials with Shake It Out. I love Florence and the Machine! She’s beautiful and strong-willed. Her voice is angellic even when she conveys anger or remorse. Look at her, isn’t she gorgeous?


Her hair as vibrant as the flickering flames in a hopeless cavern,
Her might as fierce as an earthquake underneath my feet,
Her voice as tranquil as the wind that soothes my skin,
Her fascination with water and all it’s versatile functions,

So here, I leave one of her best songs to date. And a picture of her stunning physique. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

What has this world come to?!

Watch “The Truth About Robin Williams Suicide” on YouTube

Good morning. I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or maybe I am starting to unlock all the feelings of depression and loneliness I have repressed within myself for so long. I understand why Robin Williams killed himself. He was very wise and troubled but no one took him seriously. His life and his death, his legacy, was a symbol for our country and the whole world. We all may think we have people in our lives that genuinely care about us but most people don’t give a fuck. We are losing our humanity. We care less about nature and each other and more about the media and material things. Robin Williams suffered with depression and near his final time alive, he turned to  drugs and seclusion. I can relate to him or at least relate to what I  know about him. I suffer with depression but I survived countless endeavors and always scurried my way out. I adapt and I try to move forward. People come to me for advice or a shoulder to cry on or to hear a joke that will make their day. But I can’t think of anyone who would do that for me or are even capable of comforting a true fallen angel. I am strong and I laugh and smile quite often but most days, i don’t even wanna get out of bed. I just wanna hide from the rest of the world. Grieving for the limitless people who came and went from my life, never able to stay. I have a Facebook account and youtube and many other ones but none of that fools me to thinking anyone is truly there for me. Other people may succumb to the illusion that they have many friends due to social media. Maybe because it’s a way to cope for the loss of our humanity. I am so depressed. And yet I try the best I can to continue working on myself physically, mentally, spiritually, and psychologically. I work out regularly and I try to be positive in a negative world as if opposites really do attract. I go to church and pray and compensate for my life by going through the process of an adult baptism. I go to therapy to vent and try to rid myself of mental illness. I think everyone needs therapy. It’s time to stop running towards the status quo and towards reality, no matter how obscure or diminished our views on life may be. I feel like no one in my daily life can even begin to fathom what it’s like to go through this. Maybe we all go through it. I don’t know because no one ever wants to talk about the “negative” things. Same thing with Robin Williams. He was so funny and sweet. That was what everyone else saw. But based on my life experience, I can only imagine the reasons why he decided not to confide in anyone or to break the ice of an otherwise silly comedic persona. He knew no one cared to dig deeper than the mask. To be honest, this world is dangerous and terrifying at times. We are doing the best we can. To care about anyone else but ourselves is a burden. We are fighting our own battles. Frankly, I can barely help myself most days. I don’t know the solution to revive our humanity or even pinpoint when we lost it. But I do know it takes all my being to not give up and commit the same act that Robin Williams did. He was a beautiful person who was misunderstood. I may not know all there is needed to know about him but I can sympathize with the idea of him and his tragic demise. People think I’m a joke and usually don’t take me seriously. But why would they? I make them think that subconsciously because just like Robin Williams, I don’t believe anyone can begin to acknowledge this concept that I speak so fondly of. I believe I have lost my mind years ago. I don’t remember when exactly but I’m living my life on auto-pilot. I have faith that I play a huge factor in saving this lost world we live in. The unfortune and the tragedy will never cease, but the hope and love in the world will forever oppose the evil. That felt good to vent. A series of coping skills distracting me from the inevitable suicidal ideation. Don’t worry. (You won’t anyway) I will be okay. I have been through worse. I’ll just adapt and survive like I always do. Have a wonderful day, my magnificent fallen angels! Over and out.

Leader of the Fallen (me!)


This is me today. It’s a glorious Sunday and I just got out of church. This whole gothic, darkness style intrigues me deeply but I have a big heart and i mean well. God loves me and all His other creations, no matter what. I am beautiful and so are you. So don’t assume people who dress like me worship Satan or something else bizarre. It’s usually the Goths who have suffered a lot yet are humbled and more caring than anyone else. It is the troubled who smile the brightest of all. Have a wonderful day, my glorious fallen angels! Over and out.

Is “being human” an excuse to sin?

Hello to my fallen angels! As you all know, I am a very spiritual person. As people, we tend to use the excuse, “I’m human. I make mistakes.” But is it a way to convince yourself and others that sinning is okay? I see and hear others sin all the time. Adultery. Hypocrisy. Lust. Vengeance. Gluttony. (Unfortunately America is well-known for their “gluttony.”) It’s true that humans aren’t perfect and striving towards perfection is daunting. However I believe we should at least try. If you’re cheating on your spouse, own up to your sins. It’s may be scary to face your scorned lover, but they deserve to know the truth. Whatever happens after will happen naturally. They might want to talk about it, they might want to kick your ass out, or maybe just break up. Certain things in life can be resolved assertively. I think it would be rather redundant to list ways to prevent the sins I listed earlier. But my point is, it’s cowardly to hide behind lies and excuses to justify committing a sin. If you are aware of what you’re doing, work on trying to stop. Who knows? Some people are not aware of the harm they cause others, but God will always find a way to point out and make you pay for the sins you may commit. Karma. What goes up must come down. Only the truly wicked sin, know they are sinning, but never do anything to change their ways. So saying “I’m human. I make mistakes” only works in some cases. If you forgot to take out the trash or incorrectly filled out an application for a job, for instance, those are mistakes. And if you always feel you must get even with someone or if you murder people, then those are straight up sins. Know the difference between a mistake and a sin. It’s a lot to ask for you to contribute to making the world a better place for us all, but at least try. Have a wonderful day, my imperfect-but-still-beautiful fallen angels! Over and out.