Walking on Water

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Savage winds were sirens
beckoning me to die
Ghastly lightning strikes
Pinned me down near the oars
They plunged into the briny deep
Laughing thunder mocked my helpless cries
I screamed in agony
So sure of my demise
Lo and behold!
Beneath the stormy clouds was a standing man
He wore a shimmering ivory gown
With hair a trough of milk chocolate trails
“Do you have faith in me?” He asked as if I can
Despite this chaotic typhoon brewing
I honestly answered in affirmation
So he extended his right arm
He announced for me to walk towards him
Goosebumps coiled around my arms in response
A flash of undeniable beauty
Relinquished all doubt
So I tentatively placed my right foot forward
Onto the ocean’s surface
And removed the other
From the canoe’s uncertainty
Now I was a standing man
Gazing fondly at the original
My eyes never veered away from him
His exuberance negated disorder
Waves were crashing all about
Yet now the natural world respected me
Until fear pulled its hold on me once more
I began to panic and shriek
Pausing midway to close my eyes
Enprisoning my soul within my gates again
Old habits die hard
Longer than a blink
I awoke on a ship
Recalling a lustrous illusion
Gone but true

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Salvation VI

Salvation:
I II III IV V

I really admire the people who are closer towards pursuing their own salvation than I am.
There’s no need to be envious or to posthaste.
It’s harder to chant the truth that I’m ahead of some like some are of me.
The pursuit of happiness isn’t a race.
It’s a herd of lamb led by a shepherd.
Our wool upon our backs vary in weight.
Our hooves are different in girth and shape.
However it’s our goals that allow us to persevere through our shortcomings.
We’re all born in glass houses and opposable thumbs make it effortless to throw stones.
Look at how imperfect we are!
Blurred silhouettes of lamb-men hybrids consumed by the desire to be normal.

Body and Blood

I uttered a hushed prayer,
But it was much louder long ago,
A pool of tears in my palms I gather,
Leaving no room for a martyr’s body to go,

Desperately clinging onto grains of sand,
But time forces me down to brace myself for the flood,
The large boat only transports pairs to a new land,
Now I can’t live without a savior’s blood

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

Sins of the Flesh

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You choose wisely,
You choose well,
She has her body up for sale,

Your wheels skid down
The road of hell,
Love is where she never fell,

Pick your pleasure,
Pick your poison,
You don’t care where she has been,

Self-indulgence,
Got your pension,
So with her a night of sin

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

GAIA

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Viscous fluid flow of umbral arms stretch desperately,
Confined to the roots of mustard trees sown asunder long ago,
Reaping its reward of dissociation, from man’s destruction,
Branded for eternity while blades of grass dance convivially,
Content while arching their necks to see the bright side of the darkness,
Shade rebukes the fate of the underbrush withering away,
Rays of sunlight ebb down between the reincarnated leaves,
Resilient viridescence,
Embrace their fears,
For my Mother Earth instructs her offspring of perseverance

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

An Angel’s Awakening (A-CUBED)

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Good morning to my blessed fallen angels! I finally got baptized today! It’s been long-awaited. (Aww! Look at me in my church clothes as opposed to my gothic garb.) I’m officially an Episcopalian now! I love my church family! I love God! People can disappoint me, betray me, neglect me, abuse me, avoid me, judge me, use me, and hurt me but I’m so happy to give myself up to The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. I never have to worry about God doing any of those things to me that people have done time and time again. It’s all trials and tribulations. It’s expected to go through hardship in life in one way or another. I am definitely not an exception to that biblical rule. I have no regrets, no held grudges, and no hatred towards anyone or anything. Everything I have been through (“The Sufie Saga”) led me to this moment. My mother told me I made her depressed and that she should’ve aborted me, but I forgive her. The only man I have ever loved (so far…) broke my heart in ways I never thought was humanly possible, but I forgive him too. I’m so emotionally resilient. I have been abused physically, mentally, sexually, emotionally, and even spiritually (by a psychic Narcissist). However, I still manage to get out of bed in the morning, smile, laugh (sometimes manically), and uphold my daily responsibilities. Three weeks from now, I’m starting acolyte training to someday become a priest. I’m also in college to be a therapist for people with mental health problems. And I garner spiritual abilities of my own. Just yesterday, I was contemplating killing myself, but it’s amazing how God can save me just when I feel like giving up. I am going to help and heal a lot of people! I’m gonna make this world a better place than when I found it! On the other hand, I will still don the name, The One-Eyed Angel because this darkness infested with depression and rage will always be a part of me. It has helped me survive through the worst of times and helped me appreciate with ultimate gratitude the best of times. All emotions are temporary, both good and bad. I know I’m not gonna feel this happiness consistently for the rest of my life, but I accept that simply because I must accept that. Although I don’t have any close friends or family members who went to my baptism today, I have acknowledged already that my life is a lonely one so no surprises that no one outside my church family came today. I’m okay though. There must be some valid reason God didn’t place too many people in my life. Some can handle society while some can’t. To each his own. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

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Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

Friendship for the enemy

Untapped potential,
Subtlety in man’s presence,
Ripe fruit neglected,
Good enough to render satisfaction,
Effort waned,
Vested interest failed to achieve,
Mustard seeds grow roots,
Bloom not yet in season,
Man goes where he please,
Trees must stay where they’re conceived,
Generalizations for if some then all,
Villager angered by late harvest,
Fades away before friendship matures,
Betrayed by Pontius so betrayed by everyone and everything,
Not by the farmer’s time,
Needs to make due for the tax collectors,
Can’t barter with the martyr if He’s already dead

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

Ascend to my rapture

Submission to the flames would be effortless,
Merely losing control to let the devil inside your vessel,
Demonic possession adolescence is a window of opportunity,
Seek refuge under my body to change it up a bit,
Domination of the selfishly wicked is quite a proud feat,
Ascend to my rapture feel my penetration rupture your skin,
Beg on your knees to consume my nonexistent children,
Scream in agony inside my wool pillow,
Sexual frustration so sick of the same damned positions,
Bow down with your back to me so I can sneak in nonchalantly,
Sense my rage morph into exhilarating sodomy,
While you endure my eager girth and stamina,
Just to watch you squeal and hear you moan beneath my wrath,
As my pink staff pops open the red sea allowing salvation to seep through,
It must feel real good to convince spontaneous rendezvous,
Plural and singular forms are spelled the same,
This loneliness is driving me mad that means two things,
For I was alone when the silver wire tied us together,
Now I must meditate each day to unplug the cord and guard the emerald chakra,
Rise towards the orient once rock bottom becomes the norm,
Leaving behind the obsidian ooze that wasn’t mine to begin with

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

From victim to savior

Good afternoon to my evolving fallen angels! How have you all been? So today, I’m going to elaborate further on my theory that life is a play. Early on in my life, I would check myself into psych wards just to get away from the extensive amounts of abuse that took place in my childhood home and suicide hotlines were on speed dial when I was bored and racing thoughts morphed into suicidal ones. Now I am proud to say that I was hired yesterday to be the one picking up distress calls for a suicide warmline. It’s a step below the seriousness of a hotline. Warmlines are for people who feel lonely or suicidal but it isn’t necessarily a crisis. It’s good for someone who just needs to talk and vent to a confidant when they can’t get in touch with their clinician. I start work Monday! Wow! I’ve come a long way! I went from being a chronic victim to becoming a savior. I never pictured myself being the one trying to talk someone out of suicide. Life composes of a troupe of actors. Every human born into this world becomes an actor or actress pursuing their own journey. On a human standpoint, I don’t even get along with the majority of people in my prayers but at a spiritual level, I must care about everyone. I have to. We’re all playing our roles the way God wants us too. I can’t make Batman and Joker get along but I can acknowledge and appreciate the storyline set in place of their rivalry all these years. I played the role of martyr for far too long but I was not meant to play that role forever. Thank you, Jesus! God alters my role whenever He thinks I’m ready. I believe there are two eras in my life. Pre-ex and Post-ex. Before Heartbreak and Innocence Lost. BH and IL. I think if I ever bumped into my ex on the street, I would shake his hand and thank him because I have endured and gained so much knowledge, wisdom, and insight. No pain, no gain. I accept that he’s gone. He played his role of the heartbreaker and his act is finished. Unlike a lot of people in my life, I have the ability to forgive and turn the page of a story that has long since found a home. This topic reminds me of a passage in the Bible from the Corinthians.

โ€œTherefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christโ€™s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christโ€™s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.โ€ (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV)

Someday when I have extra money to spend, I’m getting this quote as a tattoo sleeve for my right arm. All my weaknesses makes me strong. All my imperfections makes me a relatable character. I’m not ashamed of my past for everything I have been through led me to this moment. Psychology major. Suicide warmline operator. Published author. Empath. Body-builder. I am capable of anything I set my mind to. No one can tell me I’m hopeless anymore. Not my mother or my ex or my former therapists. I am the Archangel and I must lead my fallen angels into victory. Have a wonderful day and good luck on your personal endeavors! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚