CAUTION

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Hello to my cautious fallen angels! It’s been a while since I last checked in. I tend to write poetry and short stories, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s Mother’s Day and the sadness wrecks havoc once again. I was an unusual child. My mother was afraid of me. She called me “the sick boy.” I spoke of death, misery, and hopelessness around the time my parents were divorced, and also during the time I began to get bullied in school. Then, trauma ensued and I became catatonic from the age of 10 to 18. I dressed in gothic garments, cut myself regularly, and tried to commit suicide whenever I was bored so she could keep me entertained. I blamed her for the loss of my innocence even though she didn’t do it directly.

I used to have sex with gangsters for drugs and pickpocket strangers on the streets to survive. My mother was a whore, and there was never food in the house. I went in and out of psych wards, residentials, group homes, and state hospitals. I got expelled from four different high schools before I finally graduated.

By then, my mother no longer bothered visiting me, let alone keeping me entertained. She gave up on me. I am the “Jason Todd”* of her four children.

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*Jason Todd was the second Robin after Dick Grayson. He was murdered by The Joker. Then, he was resurrected by the use of Ra's Al Ghul's Lazarus Pit. Jason Todd became a villain called The Red Hood.

Now I am a grown man. And every Mother’s Day that comes and goes relinquishes the mental bind I constructed to keep these horrid memories at bay.

I am socially rejected by almost every social group dynamic I have come across throughout the years. I am guarded and I hardly let anyone in. I portray this dark persona but I believe myself to be very gentle and kind. I must be cautious at all times. It’s days like today that never let me forget why I always exercise CAUTION.

Well, just because I hate Mother’s Day due to association by my own life’s experience, it doesn’t mean you feel the same way. At that note, I wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day!

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Tribute for Batman

 

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Batman is a fictional superhero appearing in American comic books published by DC Comics. The character was created by artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger,Β and first appeared in Detective Comics #27 (May 1939). Originally named “the Bat-Man,” the character is also referred to by such epithets as the “Caped Crusader”, the “Dark Knight”, and the “World’s Greatest Detective”.

 

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Bruce and I are in love. I would hunt down and kill his parents’ murderer if I could. But that wouldn’t resolve anything. It would go against his morals to never kill anyway. There’s no doubt that Batman is tough and intimidating but like most men, he garners a guarded heart. I’m so glad the existence of Robin humanized my love before I got to him. Batman is an amazing father figure and he’s rich as hell! He’s my sugar daddy. And I could learn quite a few things from him. If Damien fails to uphold the mantle as the newest Robin, then I have no problem being the fifth male Robin. I gotta take it one day at a time.

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The Batman and The Joker are two sides of the same coin. They both went through trauma that led to each of them making a choice to either oppose the darkness or to become the darkness. Bruce Wayne’s parents were murdered right in front of him when he was only 8 years old and he fell into a bat-infested well at around the same time period. Joker (his real name is unknown for it was irrelevant in regards to Batman mythos) got fired from his career due to corruption, his pregnant wife was murdered, and he fell into acid which made him look the way he does today.

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His legacy is widely known so I must have competition. All throughout his crusade, he has come across a lot of women who toyed with his heart. But only a man can know what a man wants. That’s where I come in. Or rather where he cums in. Lol.

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Look at these sexy ass dudes trying to be him. Fuck them! They’re just mere living sex toys compared to the one true Dark Knight. Still, I think #2 wore it best mainly because he’s showing off the most skin. I could mess with him in the meantime until Batman can regard my existence.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

PSYCHOSIS

Good afternoon to my psychotic fallen angels! It took only so much turmoil to finally surrender my sanity. As a child, I cared a lot about how my classmates and how my family members perceived me. None of them are in my life now. I’m starting to form a theory that depression, loneliness, selfishness, paranoia, and fear are default emotions while any positivity only comes around when you really, really try to find it. Or perhaps this theory is biased because it stems from purely my own life experience. Who the hell knows? I like to consider myself a philosopher (an existentialist and an extreme neutralist). In other words, I believe that “human nature” is a myth and that I can do anything I want as long as I don’t break the law. I fall into many other categories that tie into the fabled “human nature” but one category that seems to be one of the new minority focusses in America is stigma pertaining to mental health. I lost track of how many mental health problems I have. The system was the only family I was fond of as an adolescent. Psych wards, state hospitals, residentials, group homes, you name it, I’ve been there. At least I never have to worry about getting drafted for the military. Psychosis is one of the diagnosis I garner. It is a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality. Oh wells! I know people say I shouldn’t let my mental health problems define who I am, but I don’t mind. I enjoy it. I’m not joking nor being sarcastic. I really love my mental health problems. I would just be another boring person in this world’s contradictory existence. They give me character and depth and uniqueness to the essence of who I am. Embrace your fears. Become your fears. I used to be so ashamed of myself. Look at me now. And did you know Batman was actually afraid of bats? He embraced the bat. He became the bat. Think about that next time you host a pity party that no one will RSVP to. There’s only one you. Learn to enjoy your own company. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

Trio of Lonely Triplets


Capable of love,

Cares more than anyone knows,

But I don a mask,


Pseudo-heartlessness,

Resist human desire,

To sustain safety,


utter lonelinessβ€”

another great addiction,

Autumnal delight


Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

Obsessed with Kryptonite

Hello to my obsessed fallen angels! It’s funny how I want so desperately for someone to care about me yet I honestly don’t give two fucks about anyone other than myself. I am a hypocrite. It’s ironic how I can be a social butterfly flapping my gums while not really saying much. I am a poser. My career path strays towards helping the reputation of people with mental health problems yet I doubt we will ever be taken seriously. I am a sell-out.Β I’m in love with the idea that someday I can have my cake and eat it too. Same goes for the power that men have over me. This guy I’m currently interested in actually has two suitors awaiting his decision apart from me. I’m not gonna hang on for dear life to find out who he finds to be his most worthy mate. Fuck that! And yet I find myself waiting by for his call or his text. Any proof that I’m of any value to him. I don’t literally wait by the phone. I mean I got shit I gotta do on a daily basis but you get the idea. Although I really like this guy, I’m gonna try not to be his third suitor. Boy, he must feel really high and mighty. How come I don’t have suitors?! Why can’t someone be obsessed with me for once?! I’m tired of being the obsessor. Their glowing rods appeal to me, vigorously attracting me to them like a moth to a flame. I need to go back to “Sleigh.” I missed two weeks already. The first week I missed was because of that stupid charity run that stemmed across two adjacent cities. It blocked off every damn road and really fucked up the bus routes that day. The second week I missed was because I thought I could buy a replacement charger for my laptop at Best Buy and still be able to make it to “Sleigh.” Man, was I wrong! Now that tomorrow is imminent, I decided to skip the parade I was supposed to march in to go “Sleigh” instead. The object of my desire was gonna march with me tomorrow and no matter how much I yearn to be in his company, I have to take care of myself first. At least I acknowledge that I can get easily obsessed with an attractive man and that I’m taking initiative to work on my addiction. One day at a time. I need to find a happy medium. No more living by my moral code: Leave me alone, I’m lonely . A part of me really enjoys my privacy and this chronic loneliness I am cursed with. Yet I desire companions of biblical proportions. I’m a handful of paradoxes. I’ll get through this somehow. I’ve survived worse. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading πŸ™‚