A Chariot in the Sky

You were the Sun illuminating our lives.

Our prayers will be the sunlight lifting you up towards home.

We will think of you during every dawn

As we await nightfall to drift amongst you within the stars.

For home is not merely a place in a physical world.

It is a living entity comprised of silver cords connecting us all together.

A sense of safety and security standing firm through even your worst mistakes.

You continue to live inside us because we can recall the radiance you exuded.

Of all things visible and invisible,

Thy will be done

On Earth as it is in heaven.

A chariot in the sky.

The Thorns We Forget

It is the rose she remembers, 

The thorns she forgot,

She’s dying from an anorexic heart,

Can never tell the right and the wrong ones apart,

It is the rose she recalls,

The thorns she has suppressed,

She lies upon a Venus night,

In lament of Persephone’s plight,

It is the rose she looks back on,

The thorns she turns her back on,

Leave the coffin open when she goes,

Leave her lipstick on so that he knows,

It is the rose she will always remember,

The thorns that killed her to forget

Dance of Death

We should hurry,

The cementary fills up early,

Everyone’s just dying to get in

To flirt with Death…

To take pleasure in his wrath…

To mock the face of the inevitable…

We should dance like we’re insane

As if no one knows our name.

The full moon makes the goons come out

To play the lyre our bodies sway to…

To scavenge for a pound of flesh from you…

To beg the walls to speak their truths…

We should decipher

These fiends’ crude behaviour.

Logic resonates within them all,

To seek amnesia at the bottom of the goblet…

To crawl out the holes of debt…

To revive when Friday’s work day ends…

We should commit suicide,

An egotistic demise,

Only then will we truly understand how

To live…

To laugh…

To love…

The Merry-Go-Round of Death

When the lights go out
Our nation recalls a tragic past
I surrender to my doubt

Four strikes muted every shout
Twins fall to every airborne blast
When the lights go out

Charitable race ends on Death’s route
Bombs ignite for runners first through last
I surrender to my doubt

Children’s safety tends to be flout
Easy targets fall so fast
When the lights go out

To escape the closet one must be stout
Lives full of pride destined to end where shadows cast
I surrender to my doubt

To what does it all amount
The Merry-Go-Round of Death leaves me aghast
When the lights go out
I surrender to my doubt

To The Family

Abuelo is in a much better place than we’ll ever know.
Heaven is infinitely times better than where we are now.
So don’t be sad, everyone.

Be happy that he found peace.
And lived a full life with our huge family who loves him limitlessly.
His soul escaped the confinement of his human vessel to reach unfathomable heights.

Anything in life can be perceived negatively or positively.
Let yourself grieve and take that journey from the darkness of loss to the light of acceptance.
I am here for you all.

I try to make you all laugh in the expense of my atonement.
I am truly honored to be your jester if it will make you feel better even just for a moment.
I love you all more than you’ll ever know.

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Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Mania I

I’m so sick of people in general. I bet no one would like this post. Maybe now you will because I bet you would’t. You just wanna prove me wrong, huh? Perhaps I just want to get attention. That would explain why I’m posting this on a public domain. But no one cares. Even if you like it, you still don’t care. Likes are meaningless. Comments are meaningless. I don’t give a fuck about your opinion unless it strokes my ego. Even then it’s not enough. It’s never enough. What are we living for? To pay bills? Fornicate? Consume food? Earn money to further fuel your hedonistic ways? Fuck this. The only reason I’m still alive is because I don’t have the balls to kill myself. FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!! If you made it this far, congratulations for nothing. Because only I exist and you are all just a figment of my imagination, both unknown and repressed. Seek sacrilege from an undeniable, corruptible society in which everything is labeled for your own selfish needs. The human race is doomed to hell for eternity. If you’re not benefiting me in any way, whether it’s money or sex or connections, then you are nothing to me. But why do you care? I’m just another human being suffering on this wretched planet. What’s the point of anything? What’s the point of subjection and free will when it just leaves you all alone? Seeing the remnants of family members during holidays just to not feel alone one day of the year. Where’s Jesus? Where’s God? Where’s anything holy in this cataclysmic world we all just happen to occupy? Let the end of the world commence in unholy communion. I don’t give a fuck!!!! Do you love my writing style? insert meaningless heart here: ❤

“Doves” May Cry But They Don’t Die

R.I.P. Prince (June 7, 1958 – April 21, 2016)

I salute his departure with my most favorite song by none other than Prince himself.

In case you want to sing along:

“Dig if you will the picture
Of you and I engaged in a kiss
The sweat of your body covers me
Can you my darling
Can you picture this?

Dream if you can a courtyard
An ocean of violets in bloom
Animals strike curious poses
They feel the heat
The heat between me and you

How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that’s so cold? (So cold)
Maybe I’m just too demanding
Maybe I’m just like my father, too bold
Maybe you’re just like my mother
She’s never satisfied (She’s never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry

Touch if you will my stomach
Feel how it trembles inside
You’ve got the butterflies all tied up
Don’t make me chase you
Even doves have pride

How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world so cold? (World so cold)
Maybe I’m just too demanding
Maybe I’m just like my father, too bold
Maybe you’re just like my mother
She’s never satisfied (She’s never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry

How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that’s so cold? (A world that’s so cold)
Maybe you’re just too demanding (Maybe, maybe I’m like my father)
Maybe I’m just like my father, too bold (Ya know he’s too bold)
Maybe you’re just like my mother (Maybe you’re just like my mother)
She’s never satisfied (She’s never, never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other (Why do we scream, why)
This is what it sounds like

When doves cry
When doves cry (Doves cry, doves cry)
When doves cry (Doves cry, doves cry)

Don’t Cry (Don’t Cry)

When doves cry
When doves cry
When doves cry

When Doves cry (Doves cry, doves cry, doves cry
Don’t cry
Darling don’t cry
Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Don’t don’t cry”

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Free Choice

Hello to my inconsistent fallen angels. I’m so sorry that I haven’t been blogging nearly as much as I used to. I have been in a rut for the longest. I have major depression and bipolar disorders. I’m sick of people saying that they’re just labels because if they were so, then they wouldn’t exist to begin with. I have serious issues and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I have nothing left to lose and I don’t feel like the world owes me anything. It is what it is. I’m refusing to take my meds. I’m a grown ass man so I can do that. No medication in the world can cure a broken heart or loneliness. I have to be patient and go through the motions. I have to resist this urge to quit everything in my life, such as college or this blog. I already quit my job and the GSA at my college so my resistance isn’t perfect but I have more important obligations I refuse to give up on. I found friends in the most unlikely places and I’m more blessed than I give myself credit for. However, I’m not afraid of death nor am I afraid of man. I’m only afraid of the things I can’t see. It’s those things that gives my life meaning and purpose. Things that require faith in order to establish within our own realities. Well I hope you understood my psychobabble. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like and comment on this post and I will do the same for you. Also, please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B012BSPFCQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1452971409&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles

A Short Sabbatical

Hello to my living fallen angels! I got discharged from a psych ward for the millionth time the other day. I tried to commit suicide once again. I overdosed last week and I was sure that I would finally die this time around because I took a lot of pills and chased them down with some cough syrup. I’m very disappointed that I survived but I know there’s a small part of me that is glad I did. If I honestly 100% wanted to die, then I could jump in front of a train or jump off a certain 11-floor building… It turns out that I kinda wanna live. I was overdue for a vacation and my local psych ward was just the place to unwind and heal from the stressors that make up the majority of my existence. I made a lot of great friends at the hospital. It seems like the mental health system is where I make all my friends worth staying in touch with. I don’t have much in common with Normies (people who were never in the mental health system and are therefore deemed “normal”) so I tend not to establish friendships with them. I realize my light side is just as influential to my life as my dark side is. I have a lot going for me. I’m pursuing a career in Psychology through college. I work as a suicide hotline operator (ironic, isn’t it?) and that opens the door for joining Recovery University, where I can further indulge in my chosen field. I want to be a mental health psychologist. That way, I could still be in the ambience of the hospital without being a patient. Two distinct halves of me learned to balance in equilibrium. One being that “if I ever found out I had cancer, I honestly would feel relieved.” The other being that “we’re all human subjected to trials and tribulations and I can’t find it in me to hate or hold grudges against anyone.” Anyway, now I’m just trying to get back into the grooves and patterns of my everyday life again. I love you all, my fallen angels! We are doing the best we can! Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like and comment on this post and I will do the same for you. Also, please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B012BSPFCQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1452971409&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles

The Internal Conflict

It ends in silence.

Fatigued from hiding in the shadows for so long

Staring into a pond of your own despair
Purest of heart succumbed to the will of its vessel
In need of an antidote to negate this madness
Shackles coil around ankles tied just outside reality
Narcissus in chains –
Too proud to be set free


Do I have to die for you to listen to me?
Silver linings shine brighter when I pluck your flower
Penance isn’t your style
Death is merely the harbinger who will lead me from inundation

And into another plain of existence
You’ve been there before…
Is the grass truly greener on the other side?

It begins in silence

Feel free to like and comment on this post and I will do the same for you. Also, please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B012BSPFCQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1452971409&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles