Good Stems From Evil

I had a friend who asked me one time, “Why does evil exist?”

And he caught me off-guard, but then again, he was very religious and he tends to question a lot of arbitrary things, to the point where he becomes a nuisance.

So I told him that “the existence of evil is necessary.”

He said, “What? Why? Why would you say such a horrible thing?”

And I said, “Yes, there’s a lot of horrible things that go on in the world but there’s so many beautiful things that go on too. And it’s the evil things like the natural disasters and hunger and homelessness and things like that that bring people together. For instance, like charity, nonprofit organizations, soup kitchens… like people are actually willing to volunteer some of their time without getting paid just to help someone else get fed. How great is that?! And there are state benefits for people who aren’t as fortunate in paying their bills or taking care of their children financially. And nonprofit organizations… People, who spend their whole lives creating something from nothing to aid others, and they don’t even expect any compensation either. I don’t think there’d be as much compassion for each other if we were all perfect… Okay, not perfect, but fortunate, if we were all… good. We wouldn’t need to be compassionate. It would be like, okay, so that person is okay, I’m okay, so we’re just gonna keep it moving.”

My friend nodded slowly at me. It looked as if he was going to interrupt me, but then, I guess he wanted to give his loquacious nature a rest.

“People wouldn’t be able to relate to each other on a deeper level, they wouldn’t be able to have opportunities to help each other because there would be no need for that. So yes, horrible things do occur in the world. Murder, rape, poverty, starvation, violence…”

His eyes widened at the mention of the word “rape,” as if it was an evil incantation of some kind, a form of dark magic. I’m surprised he didn’t utter a prayer or something.

“However, I wouldn’t suggest overlooking the good either. The good that already exists, and the good that stems from evil. I believe, with all my heart, that there’s more good in this world than there is evil because odds are that someone else went through something as horrible as you. Maybe not as severe, or perhaps more severe than you. I don’t always say ‘oh, woe is me’ because we are all in between two very opposite extremes.”

My buddy smiled as his eyes phased into a more crimson tint. I felt the sensation of flattery because I knew he was now resisting the urge to indulge in potato chips that were becoming stale in his cupboard.

“And that’s okay! We’re all in different walks of life. Just the fact that we can stick together like at AA meetings or at psych wards where we can meet new friends, we can meet other people who understand what we’re going through in one way or another. How wonderful is that? And the fact that the human experience doesn’t comprise entirely of the good and the bad, it’s not all black and white, there’s a gray area. And that gray area gives birth to so much life. And I’m just grateful that I’m a human being, that I’m a person, and that I can analyze and accept and acknowledge that good stems from evil. The existence of evil is necessary indeed. It seems like sacrifices must be made for the greater good. For society to evolve, for people’s perspectives to broaden, and open minds to cherish all the new innovations and new ideals that come from the darkness.”

My friend just stared intently at me. He probably thought I was some sort of prophet at this point. Or maybe I’m just overselling myself, and he’s just stoned off his ass. But I like to think, at least, I finally rendered him speechless.

Between Two Neighbors

 

To my right lives Esperanza:

Something about her summons the demon within me as we raze hell

Is it her skin,

So alabaster –

As if she doesn’t have an expiration date?

Or is it her obsidian curls –

Tendrils of darkness drawing me into her world?

Whatever it is,

Esperanza bangs her pots and pans every night

To deafening and ostentatious music

But I’m too afraid to confront her about it…

 

To my left lives Alegria:

Something about her ascends the angel within me into the gates of heaven

Is it her skin,

So suntanned –

As if she traveled the world and lived to the fullest?

Or is it her blonde braids –

Bright ropes pulling me into her world?

Whatever it is,

Alegria meditates with her back against the wall every night

To peaceful and amicable music

But I’m too afraid to commend her on it…

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Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Salvation VIII

Salvation I

Salvation II

Salvation III

Salvation IV

Salvation V

Salvation VI

Salvation VII

Anyone is capable of great benevolence and great evil,
Good deeds are hardly altruistic,
But they’re still good deeds,
No matter what background –
Or terrible upbringing –
You may blame for being half-alive.
Even in the deepest depths of despair lies such a benign unknown,
The beauty in this world indeed exists.
I’ve witnessed it a few times myself.
It may seem nugatory and scarce,
Yet losing faith in the beautiful uncertainties in life
Would hurt tenfold compared to any pain that evil can ever inflict upon you.
You are entitled to your own destiny.
The fork in the road lies bare
To a flow chart of decisions.
So where will you go from here?

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

An Angel’s Awakening (A-CUBED)

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Good morning to my blessed fallen angels! I finally got baptized today! It’s been long-awaited. (Aww! Look at me in my church clothes as opposed to my gothic garb.) I’m officially an Episcopalian now! I love my church family! I love God! People can disappoint me, betray me, neglect me, abuse me, avoid me, judge me, use me, and hurt me but I’m so happy to give myself up to The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. I never have to worry about God doing any of those things to me that people have done time and time again. It’s all trials and tribulations. It’s expected to go through hardship in life in one way or another. I am definitely not an exception to that biblical rule. I have no regrets, no held grudges, and no hatred towards anyone or anything. Everything I have been through (“The Sufie Saga”) led me to this moment. My mother told me I made her depressed and that she should’ve aborted me, but I forgive her. The only man I have ever loved (so far…) broke my heart in ways I never thought was humanly possible, but I forgive him too. I’m so emotionally resilient. I have been abused physically, mentally, sexually, emotionally, and even spiritually (by a psychic Narcissist). However, I still manage to get out of bed in the morning, smile, laugh (sometimes manically), and uphold my daily responsibilities. Three weeks from now, I’m starting acolyte training to someday become a priest. I’m also in college to be a therapist for people with mental health problems. And I garner spiritual abilities of my own. Just yesterday, I was contemplating killing myself, but it’s amazing how God can save me just when I feel like giving up. I am going to help and heal a lot of people! I’m gonna make this world a better place than when I found it! On the other hand, I will still don the name, The One-Eyed Angel because this darkness infested with depression and rage will always be a part of me. It has helped me survive through the worst of times and helped me appreciate with ultimate gratitude the best of times. All emotions are temporary, both good and bad. I know I’m not gonna feel this happiness consistently for the rest of my life, but I accept that simply because I must accept that. Although I don’t have any close friends or family members who went to my baptism today, I have acknowledged already that my life is a lonely one so no surprises that no one outside my church family came today. I’m okay though. There must be some valid reason God didn’t place too many people in my life. Some can handle society while some can’t. To each his own. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

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Logical Fallacies

If it’s wrong to be evil, one should strive to be good.

The existence of evil influences good.

Therefore, one should strive to be evil.


If marriage is the American dream, Americans want to get married.

Gay marriage was legalized in America.

Therefore, Americans want to take part in gay marriage.


If you have unprotected sex, you can have babies.

Rape can also lead to having babies.

Therefore rape is unprotected sex.


If you fall in love, you will be blind.

And blindness cannot be cured.

Therefore love cannot be cured.


If you have depression, then you are a black sheep.

Black sheep are a disgrace.

Therefore depression is a disgrace.


If God created the devil, the devil is God’s creation.

Mankind is also God’s creation.

Therefore mankind is the devil.


Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

One Bad Day

I sat confined within the metal bars compressing me to a condensed version of an ambivalent world. Psychologist-infested daily routines didn’t always comprise my life’s entirety. It only took one bad day to rid me of my innocence forever.
Shadows spilled underneath my cot, behind the rusted toilet several paces away, and they ran away from the fluorescent lights twitching out in the corridor.
Red eyes glowed at night to accompany the darkness I fed earnestly throughout the day. It was an effective way to lose weight.
Years passed and so has three in-mates that took the pleasure of being my roommate. It came to the point where my past branched off into infinite alternate realities. That happens when you reach a certain age. Memories evolve into better or worse things depending on your mood.
I haven’t been outside since I moved in. The normies in their hospital scrubs always shut out the outside because I don’t deserve it anymore. All the other Malvolos lost their rights to freedom too, they kid around with me.
At a certain time of day, the leader of the normies announce from the walls that the lights must go out. We retreat back into our catacombs while being driven out of the community room like cattle.
I don’t bother talking to the other outsiders because I sleep alone regardless. Nothing new happened since The Assault. So I laid in the dark letting the last remnants of my eluded past reframe my dreams once more.
The Sun always radiates as bright as I remember. Maybe it was a tad bit brighter back then. The birds chirp as they perch themselves onto the trees my mother constantly refused to cut down. Her baby blue car is warming up in the driveway. My older brother (always was taller than me) sits in the front seat while my mother says her goodbyes to my stepdad. She is plotting against me with him. Then she glances at me, massaging her back and leaning on her scepter, and asks me if I’m positively sure if I want to stay at home instead of going with them to the local supermarket. I assure her that grocery shopping with her was as boring as school.
Then suddenly it’s nighttime and I skip forward past the awkward stage of puberty into the fathoms of adulthood. I’m closing up shop. Putting away spare boxes into the complacent shelves. I walk up to the entryway door to transform the “come on in, we’re open” sign to the “sorry, we’re closed” sign. But there’s this really sexy twink knocking softly on the glass. I yell out that we’re closed but he insisted on coming in to talk to me. He wants me to do it to him, I’m positive.
So the car drives itself away like fate so anxiously wanting to lay down its foundation. I give a quick smile to my stepdad just to be polite before going into my room to play some videogames. But that smile I flash at him is a green light for him to pursue me.
I lead him to my office in the basement where I let the cobwebs materialize out of thin air. The young man looks so happy with his manila folder (most likely holding his resume) gently against his chest. He says he heard a lot about me from the press and assures me that he wants nothing more than to work for me.
I just want to go home. But he sits down across from me. He unzips his white jacket, beckoning me to admire his physique. Then he carefully hangs his hoodie on my coat rack. His shirt is a v-neck. The young man has tempting-looking chest hair. It is more than obvious that he yearns for my touch.
He knocks on my door and told me to help him clean up the house to surprise my mother when she gets home. I reply if he pays me money, I’ll do whatever he wants me to do. My stepdad giggles playfully as he barges into my room and unplugs my game console. That is the last straw. He answers my unexisting plea to take away my virginity. It sucks cus the least he can do is pay me afterwards but sometimes he doesn’t.
I get up soon after the young man sat down to lock my office door for privacy from my employees who went to their respective homes an hour before. I tell him that I’m not currently hiring at this point in time but I can reconsider if he admits he’ll do anything if I pay him to do it. I stole his smile. A scared expression is left behind on his face while I tear his smile off his porcelain face.
Masturbation had lost its fun since I no longer had an audience. The buzzing of the night light kept me up all night long. I didn’t sleep a wink. I crack myself up sometimes as my laughter fills the empty void. Just when I think I lost my mind entirely, I lose it a little bit more. I can no longer plant this seed anywhere other than my bedsheets. My bed wanted me to cultivate this undead garden, hardening along with the red eyes across the room reminding me that I had an audience after all. A sexy doctor peeked into my room, beckoning me to take his smile away from him too.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Friendship for the enemy

Untapped potential,
Subtlety in man’s presence,
Ripe fruit neglected,
Good enough to render satisfaction,
Effort waned,
Vested interest failed to achieve,
Mustard seeds grow roots,
Bloom not yet in season,
Man goes where he please,
Trees must stay where they’re conceived,
Generalizations for if some then all,
Villager angered by late harvest,
Fades away before friendship matures,
Betrayed by Pontius so betrayed by everyone and everything,
Not by the farmer’s time,
Needs to make due for the tax collectors,
Can’t barter with the martyr if He’s already dead

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Always end with a kiss

Shadows spill on the walls made to defend,

For loneliness is not worthless,

Enduring the crevices for hardship’s a godsend,

Failure doesn’t exist but the interior is still a mess,

Depleting all black sludge from the alcove,

No use crying over spilled milk,

Gratitude and puissance dove,

From Elysium meander down like silk,

The king nidificates his crown atop his head,

Belgian nuns misplace their two eyes to appreciate the third,

Minstrels convivially express themselves through song,

Lovers hold on to anything and everything,

A pharaoh treats their body as the temple they govern,

Belly dancers convey concupiscence to earn a living,

Mankind rely on belief that God will give just enough to handle,

Rooted to the floor while the darkness imitates,

If one can convince themself to be hopeless,

Surely the coin’s benign side can be just as persistent,

Cast forth Roy G. Biv a halo of color hovering above,

Spiraling and emanating before the makeshift tree,

Entangled sacrilege encased underneath a rainbow fleece,

Morph into any way the light decides to reflect,

Texture of choice for the cloaked figure in the distance can’t see,

Just a sphere of white mist translucent yet not duplicated,

For evil is subjective both fire and sunlight are illuminescent,

Yet opposing forces each attract only their own respective brethren,

All good stories are concluded wars and well-deserved peace

Accept Death’s gentle release,

A passionate kiss shared between two beneficial friends

Human and spiritual standpoints

Good morning to my spiritual fallen angels! How are you? So let’s begin, shall we? One of my earliest posts, it’s easy being evil, I state that it’s easier to be evil than it is to be good just like it’s easier to make a mess than it is to clean it up. At a human standpoint, I can love and hate whomever I want. However, I find it effortless to hold grudges or gossip and although it may be easy, it’s also not beneficial to my unique place in this world. As an empath, I must learn more about how to differentiate others’ emotions from my own. Are these feelings of vengeance and paranoia my own? There is so much evil in the world so it could just be that these impure thoughts stem from others yet I’m still accountable for them. Within my meditation sessions, I must constantly remind myself that the past no longer exists and the future has yet to exist. Either way, right now is all that really matters. Then I remind myself to get off my train of thought and acknowledge time and space. For example, I’m on the city bus and it’s August 13th, 2015. I go into more detail but I don’t want to disclose too much about my whereabouts. After that, I recall the three spiritual laws that draw the line between hope and fear. I could explain the three spiritual laws but I have stated them already in numerous of my previous posts. But if you still want me to tell you, please ask in the comments section below. Anyway, I tell myself that we are all human and we all have our own internal struggles. We just handle conflict, rejection, and disappointment differently. We all sin differently. We are all inevitably subjected to experience all the trials and tribulations that consist throughout the human experience stated in various religious texts. We are fallen angels subconsciously enforcing our soul contracts and are tributes withdrawn from the golden gates to enact our human lives. Afterwards, I silently sit outside to soak in the presence of those around me as well as the birds chirping and the sunlight glaring down on me. This allows me to ease my way to the spirit realm. Finally, once I’m there, I ground, center, and shield to expel all negativity, align my chakras, and protect myself from negative intrusion. I do this, along with yoga, at least once a day. I have to. My emotions are too powerful and dangerous if left uncontrolled. Like Raven from Teen Titans, reinforcing my emotions hours a day is essential for keeping the darkness at bay. I can only imagine the full extent of my wrath but I know it’s imperative to never give in to evil or give up on the concept of love no matter how easy it would be to release the bind or to become apathetic. If I cease to be capable of love, I will never be able to come back out. I must love and respect everyone and everything in our existence because that’s what heroes do. So let’s support each other no matter what. The best thing to say to someone is that they are not alone. Depression, abuse, neglect, heartbreak, starvation, betrayal, hopelessness, and so much more… we have all experienced these things one way or another. Don’t deny it anymore. Don’t bury your feelings. Don’t let anyone tell you to give up on your dreams for them as if it’s some black and white ultimatum that will label you good or bad. You are beautiful. Your vulnerabilities and your undisclosed desires are the things that makes you stand out. Have a wonderful day and good luck on your personal endeavors! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

The Toxic Attraction Between an Empath & a Narcissist. | elephant journal

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/the-toxic-attraction-between-an-empath-a-narcissist/

Exactly what happened with me and my ex. I know I talk about him too much but it’s because of him that I actually had so many ideas for blog posts. I found this link while looking through this group’s page on Facebook that I’m a part of called Empath for Beginners. I’m an Empath and he was a Narcissist. I wanted to heal him but all it did was stoke his ego. Check out the link above and let me know if you can relate. Comment if you have any questions or comments too. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂