An Ex’s Cameo

Completely disregard what I said in Monday, Tuesday, busy days! Wednesday, Thursday, busy days! I had a horrible day yesterday! I ran into my ex-fiance on the bus heading to work. I was on my phone playing with my apps when he walked on the bus and stood a few feet away. I felt like someone stabbed me in the chest. He glanced at me and said to himself, “oh shit!” and pretended he didn’t notice me as he sat near the front of the bus. Mind you, I saw this in my peripheral vision so he didn’t know I noticed him. So I put my phone away back into its holster and I just stared at the back of his shaved, oblong head. The bus had been packed until half the occupants got off on the same stop. My ex got up to change seats when he finally noticed I was staring at him. He tried to be nonchalant with a nod accompanied by a tiny grin. But he clearly didn’t want to talk to me. There was an empty seat nearby him and I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. I hadn’t seen him in over a year prior so who knows when I was ever going to run into him again. I sat beside him and said: “Hey! How are you?”
He said, “Good.”
Me: “Me too.”
Him: “So I didn’t know you go by this side of town.”
Me: “Yeah, I work around here now. At Toivo.”
Him: “That’s only a few blocks away…”
Me: “So you still live on Park Street?”
Him: “I never lived there before.”
Me: “Oh… where do you live now?”
Him: “Maple Street -”
Then awkward silence consumed the following 30 seconds.
Me: “I wanted to thank you.”
Him: “For what?”
Me: “For everything.”
He smiled. I stroked a Narcissist’s ego, apparently.
My bus stop was coming up.
He began to drone on and on about how he’s trying to renew his license and to get a car.
I tuned him out at this point. He was just gonna talk about himself. I’m also trying to get my driver’s license and a car but I wasn’t gonna say much more.
I had nothing to prove to him and I no longer expected anything from him.
When my bus stop finally came, I shook his hand and told him to have a great day before I departed.
Once I arrived at my job, I broke down but luckily my co-workers are some of my best friends and they supported me. I talked it out. They assured me I handled it very well and that I’m a strong, resilient person. We shared anecdotes and then we resumed our work. Surprisingly, I felt a lot better afterward. I was able to do everything I had to do yesterday. I even slept a full eight hours when I got home. Maybe that was the closure I needed. Maybe I’m finally over him.

Feel free to like and comment on this post and I will do the same for you. Also, please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B012BSPFCQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1452971409&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles

Empath for Beginners

https://www.facebook.com/groups/600262470039580/

My favorite page on Facebook! Empath for Beginners is for newly realized Empaths who provide support, answers to questions, and encouragement to control our abilities. I learned so much from this group. I’m so glad there are good pages on Facebook that prevent me from making a general assumption that Facebook is bad. Lol. I love you all, my fallen angels! Love hard. Live fully. Laugh weirdly. Just be yourself. Keep an open mind for that is the best way people can truly connect to each other on a deep level. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Tip of the Iceberg

Good morning to my mysterious fallen angels! How was your labor day weekend? So have you noticed my poetic prowess has been greatly improved since my blog was first established? I read my own “past endeavors” (archives) and even my own writing gives me goosebumps. I noticed one of my older poems, Triskelion, still gets checked out at least once everyday by some of my unknown fallen angels since it was originally posted back in the beginning of this Summer. My personal favorite poems are Kamikaze Burlesque and Loneliness and guilty pleasures. I felt confident enough to explore my sexuality with you all in my poems after experimenting with these two specific posts to see how you would react. A lot of likes but a very few comments on either of them. To be expected. Ha! Some of my newer additions to my collection; The Scarlet Harlot and Unquenched Desire; display my more vulnerable takes on love. You’re probably wondering why this post reminds you of those flashback shows in certain tv series where all they do is show clips of past episodes, huh? Well, I wanted to enforce my explanation of how I view myself. A paranoid yet lonely sociopath who just wants to be left alone. Well that’s not entirely true, to be honest. I just want to be loved. Now is that so bad? Clique… But I feel like no matter how many poems, random reviews, or check-ins I post, it will always be the tip of the iceberg! I have no doubt many other bloggers feel the same way. Like I can never fully pour my heart and soul into the depths of my blog 100%. Maybe I’m just naturally mysterious. Perhaps if I spoke in clear English rather than through prose, I can make you see who I really am. Yeah, cus I’m wrong like that… Perhaps I should get out my house more… Society is more inclined to the likes of Facebook posts rather than blog posts. It seems like people would rather video record me trip or cuss someone out than for me to confuse them with my philosophical mind. Not many people want to read intellectual works of literature anymore. A lot of people I come across in public don’t wanna know how I’m doing or become my friend. I notice the only times humans interact with me are when they need something. Sex. Labor. Laughter. Money. [As stated in leave me alone I’m lonely] One or a combination of those four things. No one ever wants to know how I’m doing even if I ask them first. You can never know someone 100%. The belief that you can is faulty. We are all subject to vested interest. We are all alone in our own minds.

So back to the topic at hand, I take pride that my writing is getting better even though my social life isn’t. Luckily, I can say in all honesty that I love you all, my fallen angels! I had made friends with some of you and I have never been more real than I have been with you. Thank you so much for taking interest in my blog! I’m never gonna stop. I’m gonna keep it coming. So stay tuned for more posts in the future! Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂