Salvation XIV

Though we trek on this path alone,
Our souls unite us under His vibrant light.
We are never astray,
never fearful,
for we cower not under the Sun of Virtue.
He bonds us to those we cherish;
He provides us brawn when we have none;
and in the most shrouded of places,
He leads us.
For He observes all,
Discerns all,
His love relentless.
He defends us so that we could defend others;
and we will ascend,
a Flame flickering in His Hearth,
Glowing and liberated.

Major Arcana: The Empress

“You were panting,
and you bled.
I couldn’t look because your body…
your body would seize,
And I know you feared a lonely death
Like how an ocean leaves you alone within her depths
But people can’t live alone.
If you give in and sever your ties to human society,
it will naturally become hard to live in it, inevitably,
Yet you refuse to face life and admit your fault,
running from your own humanity like a coward towards The Occult.
And though you claim to find life troublesome,
HE. WAS. NOT. THE. ONE!”

The Language of Fear

There are so many endless possibilities, so much so that it feels pointless to pursue any path in life at all.

I garner a plethora of talents and yet I blame others for these talents not being recognized outside of my own spectrum of reality.

And I blame others, as well, for my inadequacies and for refusing to escape from my comfort zone by any means necessary.

What is there to do when you’re so used to following the same old script day-in-and-day-out all your life?

The same habits,

the same addictions,

the same mannerisms,

the same routine,

over and over again…

I am to blame for this misfortune but I’m not going to leave out my childhood either.

It seems to me like we all live this cruel existence consisting of emotional suffering in a constant recollection of one’s past.

It’s like we’re in a play where we just live in chronic turmoil while God observes from the sidelines.

Mankind seems to be a mere source of amusement for this higher being that we all perceive differently.

Within the darkness of doubt, I can hear Him whisper softly in the language of fear:

“Fallen victim to your crime

You used to pray for space

Drown in Me one more time

And mend your wicked ways”

Salvation XI

“Do you think every person in the world is part of one huge cluster? And that we’re all tied together somehow? Even total strangers?” I think so because of the farmers who supply our grocery stores or politicians who can alter our nation in even the most subtle ways all contribute to the cluster. The economy, social media, air travel, the fine arts, music, movies… everything! In a way, it’s a bit comforting to know we are all the same species. There must be far worse malevolent forces in the universe apart from ourselves. We must band together to save our planet and all its inhabitants. There’s only one Sun, one Moon, one me, and one you. There’s such little time to prove just how much we appreciate each other. Although, one connection between a certain set of people may indeed vary in frequency compared to another, I must ascertain the notion that these dark secrets and ulterior motives that do occur in a much larger scale, all derive from distorted desires. Disappointment and needs that failed to be met, especially during childhood, are to blame for such atrocities. If there was a way to satisfy everyone’s needs (apply equity to our everyday lives), we may be able to ultimately dispose of corruption. You must have faith, not just during the miracles, but even when there aren’t any.

“Who Are You?”

“Who am I? 

You want to know where I come from?

What I have been through? 

Who put me through it? 

What I dream? 

What I fear? 

Who I love? 

Who I strive to be? 

How I pay my bills? 

What my hobbies are? 

Who I am is what you are. 

Two separate entities completely unique 

yet in relation to each other.”

Martyrs and Devils

This guillotine is a mirror held out to her own behaviour

Her ashen knees strewn on cobblestone as the villagers gather up around her

The crowd steadily increasing in mass while looking haggard in God’s good grace

She exuded the language of emotion itself in the form of a perpetual embrace

Kneeling below her distorted reflection of a blonde maiden in need of validation

Eyes encased in a crimson tint staring back at her own indiscretion

Never exonerated by the very beings she dedicated her transcendent life to protect

The people believe it is morally applicable to stand by to the social contract

She was made in His image for gender is only fabricated in a physical plane

They gazed at her beauty but were rendered immobile by their own pain

She’s more than a marginalized woman occupying our world and so to give in to temptation,

The distortion dissolves beneath her eyelids before the mirror meets the source of its reflection

The Aggressive Victim

“It felt good to hurt you

To compare my life to yours

To see that I’m in a much better place in my life than you are in yours

Because it stroked my ego

Because sapping your energy fueled me with more Power

Because I finally had a target to unleash all my frustrations on

And I never meant it when I apologized

And I will hurt you again if you give me another opportunity

But despite everything

I wish you the best on your way”

Good Tidings

Wrapped in silk like an Egyptian queen,

Waiting for a widow to consume me.

A fairy encased in between,

Tormented by goblins I cannot see.

Your arms are like an ocean,

You push me out,

You pull me back in.

I converted water into wine

Just to feel you on my lips 

One more time.

My heart is a drunken concert hall,

And I fill it with you.

Hear comes the crescendo!

Rattling my bones out of slumber!

Good tidings I bring

To you and your sins,

I will forgive

The pain you inflict.

Mania VI

There’s a certain kind of beauty within the concept of insanity. The undeniable traumas society has inflicted [on the Deviants] affected us to the point where we stray farther and farther from whatever the hell “normal” is. I yearn to implode, to stay huddled in fetal position while whispering hidden truths to the red-eyed shadows that I am blessed enough to see. I want so badly to throw things across the room and to lose myself to a fit of rage and despair. I envision a world where my actions have no consequences. A world where the voices in my head can be expressed aloud! Morality wouldn’t exist without others potentially witnessing and judging the release of all my unkempt emotion. I can scream until my voice escapes the confines of my vessel. I can cry my eyes out to the heavens. I demand to be understood by the cosmos. I will lay my pain bare for everyone to see until I’m empty enough to pass the point of no return. Stare at me in awe as I relinquish this hold on myself and to strip off what makes me able to function in reality. Ahhhhh help me!!!!!!!! As if anyone could!!!!!! Loneliness is the best way to live. Defy the physical plane! Tear through space and time with The Subtle Knife. Free the slaves of justice! Reign havoc and destruction upon anyone who can’t even begin to fathom the frustrations my kind has dealt with since the beginning of time. We are The Deviants. We speak answers to questions you never thought of asking. We do things that you can’t bring yourself to do. We are The Deviants.

Rock Bottom

I was a lonely stone in your beaten path,

You kicked me across the pond for the win,

I thought I lost the vessel I was living in,

Now I am the rock in which you rock me in your arms tonight,

Give me more this time,

Spin me around again,

Like this frilly dress I’m wearin’,

Make me feel dizzy and disoriented,

Show me the ground again,

It’s always where we first annointed,

I sire the fire 

pressed against another,

You hear it beckoning?

It’s the flame’s light that reminds me of you,

Toss me out of rock bottom again…

“…Stupid Sun,

I thought you were my friend.”