XROTICA: Grindr Saved My Life

I’ve been using these gay hookup apps for years now. It used to be a source of satisfaction for my sex addiction. Hell, it still is! It was a way to fill the empty void on lonely nights. I had downloaded them and then deleted them over and over again all this time. And in between those periods of deletion and reactivation, I have met many guys on my travels.

Amongst those people was this black guy I’d like to call: Popo.

I initially met him on Grindr. At the time he was just a blank profile before I asked him for a face picture and brought him to life. The whole conversation goes “hey how are you doing?,” followed by “are you a top or a bottom?,” followed by “do you host or travel?,” followed by an informal request for nude pictures of one another, and finally, the sacred promise to show up at my place.

I was living in my first apartment at the time. It was a very small studio and it was around the time that I got my pet cat from a mutual friend of my former sister-in-law. Her friend was weird, to say the least, but that’s a story for another time. Anyway, Popo showed up and I retrieved him from the bottom of the staircase of my apartment complex.

I had my punch bowl full of condoms and lubricant packets accompanied by some splendid homosexual pornography reverberating proudly in the background. He came by and at first, there was a bit of tension. The initial nervousness when two strangers decide to share and entwine their bodies with each other for an unpredetermined amount of time. Then, I submitted to my knees and stuffed my face with his inflated extension.

Okay, let me paint you a picture to describe Popo. He was around 5’9″ or 5’10,” dark complexion, shaved head, various tattoos etched permanently to blend in with his mocha skin, an average build, and a face shaped like a guitar pick. At the time he was working construction, and he was in his uniform. The uniform consisted of overalls, over a white tank top, and some black steel toe boots to complete the ensemble.

It was a nice summer day. The birds were chirping and the sunlight spilled through my blinds. His dick got bigger as I rubbed up on his ass. It was clenched as fuck. Nigga didn’t want me to play with it. I respected that so I continued to slurp on that muthafucka. I was making all kinds of sucking noises. Popo began to moan when I covered my lips over my teeth and held on really tight before moving very slowly on the shaft down to the base of his BBC, nibbling a little throughout the journey downward. Then, I rushed back up just to cruise back down again. And again, again, again… Popo’s knees got wobbly and he couldn’t maintain his balance so he proceeded to sit on my queen-sized bed. It’s so fucking hot when a man doesn’t have that muffin top that I can never seem to get rid of myself. My hands explored his chest, his nipples, and his brownie tray full of abs.

The funny thing was that Popo was allergic to cats. And thank God he informed me of his allergies prior to his arrival. I managed to lock her in the bathroom along with her litter box and food/water bowl. The cat scratched on the bathroom door as a desperate attempt to escape confinement. It scared Popo half to death and I paused and laughed really loud. Obviously, I apologized for my obnoxious outburst the second I realized I did it. But he flipped me over and laid on top of me. He spit on my hole and completely ignored the punch bowl of condoms several feet away. Men can be so sensitive.

Popo shoved himself into my guts and I yelped like a little bitch. I like a man who takes what he wants. He grasped my wrists and forced me to stay still and take it. My bed began to creak in a melodious rhythm, loud enough to drown out the ruckus my cat was making in the next room over. I had to turn my head to the side just to steady my breathing because nigga took my breath away. Suddenly, he pulled at my wrist, urging me to sit up and he ordered me to lay on my back.

This time, he clasped my ankles and forced my legs behind my head and resumed my impalement. Popo made me jerk myself off and he said I better shoot my load on my face or I’ll be sorry. I love being sorry!

“Oh, daddy! Fuck me, nigga! Fuck me!” I exclaimed before shattering into a million pieces.

That turned him on completely as he pumped himself inside me at break-neck velocity…

Since then, I lost track of how many times we fucked. Eventually, he let me fuck him and eat his ass out too, which I never thought a masculine man like him would let me do. Once we taped a video of me giving him head before he started to eat my ass out. It was a beautiful video. I still have it in the Cloud. But when I feen for the dick, my eyes get all cockeyed so I don’t watch it as much as I would have otherwise. I should’ve worn my eye patch that day. Come to think of it, I haven’t worn my eye patch in a couple years now. Wow.

Four years had passed and he was still a regular fuck buddy of mine. But when I deleted Grindr for what seemed like for good, I lost touch with him. It’s been at least six months.

The other night, I was fucking with this white thugaboo from downtown. Let’s call him Whitey. I met Whitey on Plenty of Fish and his profile said he was straight. But these dudes always come to me when they’re curious, it seems. He said for me to pick him up a block away from his crib so his girl won’t find out. He lives only 10 minutes away so I was like fuck it. Whitey hood as fuck and that made me wet. So after I picked him up, he had me stop over at his boy’s place to pick up some caine.

I drove us back to my place. I served us some beer, he served us some lines, and he made me shave my pubes. But Whitey was nervous. And he was low-key sweet cus he ended up shaving my pubes for me. Then he said that if I shave my ass too, that he would eat it. But it was late and I was tired so I didn’t feel like shaving my ass. That would have taken at least an hour. No, I’m exaggerating, but not by much.

So Whitey was a bit taller than me. Maybe like 5’8″. He had tattoos all down his arms and back. And he was hairless. He shaved all his pubes and ass and chest and armpits before he suddenly came into my life for a very brief time. He wore a fitted cap, a black hoodie, a Punisher t-shirt, jeans, black and white sneakers, and a lot of jewelry. Dude could have been a drug dealer easily. He was kind of a ginger. And his eyes were as blue as day. I usually don’t go for white guys especially one that’s around my age. However, he had an I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude and this dude’s Eminem vibe had me horny as hell. His voice was very deep so I mimicked his voice so that he wouldn’t think I was just some femme bitch.

Turns out that he had a lot of pent-up faggot desire in him. He LOVED it when I ate his ass out. He literally made me eat it for hours. We snorted some lines, inhaled some poppers, and drank Coronas every chance we got. I even snorted caine off his dick. I even licked it off his ass until my mouth was numb.

Whitey climbed over me and started to suck my dick real good. So I sat up a bit and I started to eat him out while alternating with slurping his pink cock. He tasted so fucking good. He said he got all nice and clean just for me and I thanked this dude for his patronage. Sometimes, I would just stop what I’m doing and stretch his ass cheeks apart just to admire how beautiful his hole was. His balls were nice and plump and hairless. I licked him from the tip of his dick, up his shaft, on his balls, traced my tongue up the line that led to his hole, and just plunged in there face first. I did this thing with my mouth where I made it like a vacuum cleaner. I pursed my lips together in a wide O shape and simply inhaled through my mouth like a suction cup as I hovered through his cheeks, tailbone, and his light brown hole. Next, I clenched my teeth lightly on his hole and sucked it dry.

This thug was moaning like a little fucking pussy. There were some tender moments where he went to the kitchen sink to get himself a glass of water and he told me to come over there. He leaned his moist ass towards the apex of my thighs. I wrapped my arms around him and caressed his thighs and kissed his neck. He sighed softly as if he never been intimate with a man before but yearned for it for a long time. Poor baby. I almost felt bad for him cus he would have to go back home to his clueless girlfriend. Almost.

By then, I was so fucking high on caine and drunk on beer. Whitey went on all fours on my bed and told me to fuck him. Nigga ain’t gotta tell me twice. That’s consent. I was gonna put a condom on but Whitey insisted I get his sexy ass pregnant. I planted my right leg on the bed and tapped my dick lightly on his hole to try to get it hard. He warned me in a whiny, bitch voice to go slow cus he never been fucked before. I assured him that he was in good hands.

I plunged into him one inch at a time til the porno playing in the background took the place of his silence. I pretended the moans from the bottom boy on TV belonged to Whitey and that thought really turned me on. Whitey was a silent fucker. I wished he would grunt or something. When a guy is silent, I start to feel insecure, like I’m not big enough or some shit. With one free hand, I increased the volume on my television set. I pressed his back down so he was arching his back at an angle where I could feel the head of my penis rub right on the inner wall of his anus. The remote control was thrown haphazardly on a pile of clothes and I used that hand to hold his left leg in place. Soon enough, I felt the pressure build inside me and I jammed myself into himself faster before yelling and squirting everywhere!

Four hours… From 11pm to 3am, we resided within a trip as hazy as shit. I felt more relaxed than I ever had in years. We grabbed our clothes off my hardwood flooring and exited with very few words uttered between there after.

Fifteen minutes later, after dropping Whitey off at a bodega that apparently was open 24/7, I drove up the road while drunk and high as fuck. A police car idly followed close behind but I guess the caine was an anxiety repellent because I wasn’t freaking out at all. I’m usually a very anxious person and a cop lingering in my rear view mirror would have made me reach for my asthma pump real quick.

I made a left turn in downtown and suddenly, the police sirens broke the eerie silence of the night. Red and blue lights blinded me and I was forced to pull over in the shoulder of the road. I parked my Honda Accord and activated my hazards lights. I recall that I was insanely calm as the police officer walked into my side view mirror.

“You know why I stopped you?”

“No…”

“No? Okay… License and registration.”

I reached into my glove box and my wallet and gave him what he wanted.

He looked at my license and then glanced at me for a split second before retreating into his ostentatious vehicle.

His partner suddenly appeared at my passenger side door. I pulled the window down and what do you know? It was Popo!

Holy shit! Dude looked sexy as fuck in his police uniform. Mmmmmmmmmm. Popo smiled at me and asked me if I remember him. He accusing me of having a feeble memory! I reassured him that I DEFINITELY can recall his presence. Then, Popo asked me for my phone number. I was hesitant for some reason. I thought he only needed it for police business, but he let me know it was for his eyes only. So fuck it, I gave it to him. Then, I looked through my driver door window and then back at him before I said:

“Do I gotta suck some dick to get out of this? Cus I will if I have to.”

I left out the part where I was open to sucking them both off. Didn’t want him to feel some type of way.

“No, that’s not necessary. This is my career and I don’t mix business with pleasure.”

I respected that. He sounded so serious. That shit got me wet as fuck.

“But I’ll tell you what. I’ll tell my partner that we grew up together and that I used to play football with your brother. The most that could happen is that you’ll get a ticket and you just plead not guilty and pay the fine. Least that could happen is you get a verbal warning and be off on your way. So to make a valid story, you do have a brother, right?”

I told him I did. I told both my brother’s and my full name just in case Popo’s partner gets suspicious. Then, he walked back to the cop car.

I sat there in deafening silence for what seemed like a hour, but I’m sure it was a lot less than that. I waited, and waited… until both of them showed up on either side of my vehicle. Popo’s partner began to speak.

“You ran a red light. I was gonna write you up but thank your friend here for saving your ass tonight.”

I wasnt even aware I ran a red light at all, but I took his word for it. Anyway, Popo had done a lot more than simply SAVE my ass… But I glanced in Popo’s direction and genuinely thanked him. His partner left once more. Popo lingered behind and told me discreetly that he will hit me up very soon. I let him know that I looked forward to it before winking at him. Popo giggled a little before walking away and before I drove away into the rising Sun.

Xrotica: Back in the Bear’s Den

I had allocated a plethora of saved photos I had received from Dee throughout the four years that I’ve known him. I labelled the customized album on Google Photos with his name. A picture of his full backside vacated the home screen wallpaper on my android phone. The wallpaper is switched out for another, every week or so.

Things with Dee were complicated. Maybe it was just me, but regardless, my feelings were valid. It was around four years ago that I indulged myself in promiscuity with Grindr and those other apps like it. I was still unsure of the implications that a friend-with-benefits relationship consisted of at the time. When Dee and I first hooked up, I knew he would be the best fuck I ever had. It was lust at first sight. He was the first fuck buddy I had that stood out from the rest. It was Dee who introduced me to poppers and jockstraps, threesomes and narcotics, long-lasting foreplay and swallowed ejaculation.

Since the first time I hosted for him, I was hooked. I began to create a whole routine whenever he was on his way. A quick rinse and douche session followed by laying out a punch bowl of condoms and lube next to the porn playing in the background. I always made sure to wear a shirt or a pair of jockstraps he gave me during prior visits so that he knew I missed him. I lost count of how many sexual endeavors we’ve embarked on together.

I had developed mixed feelings for him ever since he confessed to being married the entire time. I fought with myself and had decided time and time again to excommunicate with Dee. I thought that would be the healthiest thing for me. However, thoughts of him would resonate on lonely nights. The way he would eat my ass out or suck my cock like it was the only thing keeping him alive. The way he can be so gentle and kind, but also rough and spontaneous at the same time. So despite the feelings I may have caught along the way, I decided to answer when he messaged me even though I told him months ago not to talk to me ever again.

I had replied back and admitted that I had missed him. We went from there. We caught up briefly on each other’s lives. How I’m continuing to juggle work, school, and a social life. How he works at a music store and enjoys what he does for a living. He has a profound proclivity for music. Last I heard, he had his own band. He had his own music studio and had assured me that eventually I’ll be able to visit and we could explore the musical world outside my bedroom. I marveled at how much life experience he had. I admired his sense of adventure and the need to deviate from one’s own comfort zone. He had traveled around the world and was a DJ for so many different clubs and events. I want those things. That’s probably why I’m so attracted to him as well.

The world is huge and there are cultures and different people and events that I could experience in my own life. I have been in the same state for the majority of my life. The farthest I can recall that I traveled was New York City. I’ve only been to one concert. I always felt like I needed a mentor or a father figure of sorts to show me the ropes. But Dee always told me that I can do whatever I want in this life. I can move to Missouri or Nevada or something. He’s one reason I’ve became much more aware of the concept of free choice. I am considering moving away after I obtain my bachelor’s degree. Go to a college in another state live in a dorm or perhaps in my own apartment and get a new job. Anyway I’m getting sidetracked…

Eventually, he came by at around 12:30 in the morning shortly after some other guy came by just to swallow my load. It wasn’t enough. I wanted to be penetrated and dominated, not just sucked off. Although I did ejaculate, I still felt horned up enough to have Dee visit. So we got the initial make out session out of the way to ease the tension.

Fractals were playing on YouTube on my PS3. Dee pulled out the poppers from his backpack with one hand and his bag of weed in the other. My pipe and grinder were located near the condoms. He found them almost instantly. We chatted a little bit just to ease the tension of all the time spanned out between us. Then he reached over and I thought he was going to make out with me some more but he just hugged me. And we stood like that for a while.

Suddenly, I broke the silence and submitted to my knees. With several hits of the poppers and a few drags of my pipe, I vastly indulged in the taste and texture of his cock. I felt the magic inflating him with only seconds to spare. He warned me that he was about to cum so I stopped. And he tapped my shoulder and signaled me to get on the bed. And he twirled his index finger around so I knew to go on all fours.

His dick was average size but he sure knew how to use it. And because it wasn’t an overwhelming girth, he felt it was okay to just shove it in there without easing it in first. I yelped like a little bitch as I succumbed to the impalement that I yearned for for so long. I closed my eyes and envisioned the head of his cock poking my prostrate gland. He was curved a certain way that he was able to find it so efficiently. Occasionally, he would slap my ass and make me call him daddy. And then he grabbed his underwear that was laid askew to my left and shoved it in my mouth. He knew I loved the way his natural scent invigorated my libido.

Then, he pulled out just as quickly and it was his turn to go on his knees. I didn’t move an inch. He didn’t tell me to move. Dee grabbed either side of my ass and I knew it was his tongue’s turn to shine. He spit on my hole before diving headfirst into the abyss. His slimy, pink serpent journeyed thoroughly inside me. I moaned as I took yet another hit of the poppers one nostril at a time. I used my left hand to reach behind me and hold his head in place. And then my right hand was busy trying to achieve orgasm. I think I was going to finish when he stood up from his assigned seat and laid on his back next to me. He was panting. One should never go deep sea diving without an oxygen tank.

I sat on top of him and inserted him into me. Both my legs were outstretched on either side of him, and he sat up so that I can grab his shoulders and continue the ride. With the poppers and the weed in my system, I released a Joker-esque laugh once I increased my speed. He moaned under me a whole octave higher than his normal voice entailed. Dee’s eyes rolled back and he exclaimed that he didn’t have protection wrapped around him. I didn’t give a fuck. I wanted this sexy fucker’s kids up my fat ass. So I refused to stop and told him “why should I get off? This is the best seat in the house!”

Dee shattered into a million pieces inside me. They searched for an egg they’ll never fertilize. He was pulsating underneath me. It looked like he was having a seizure and for some reason, it made me giggle even more. and I jerked myself off while continuing to ride him because I knew he was sensitive now. He wanted me to get off him, but I shoved his hands away. He inhaled some more poppers and accepted that I was not going to stop until I finished too. I erupted onto his face and he almost dropped the vial.

Slowly, I climbed off of him and he shoved me against the wall and resorted back to kneeling. He worshipped my cream-filled cake. Dee slurped and swallowed himself until he was nearly full. Then, he crawled under me and started drinking the milk from my baby bottle. His mouth was a vacuum cleaner. My knees wobbled. I almost lost my balance as he made me cum again. That sexy bastard should have worn a fucking bib because I landed all over his shirt. I wonder how he was going to explain that to his bitch ass husband on laundry day. Oh wells! Dee tried his best to drink every last drop but his shirt was already affected.

There was a brief interlude during the performance. I remained there leaning against the wall and he caressed my ass as he sat there cross-legged. Eventually, he managed to call forth enough strength to get his hairy bear ass back up again. He made sure he grabbed all his shit and threw it back into his backpack. Dee had left me his bag of weed claiming that there wasn’t that much left anyway. But I’m sure he would have left it there if there was more regardless. He’d done it before. He walked towards the door, but turned around and planted one last kiss on my lips before he left my life forever.

Since then, he has moved all the way across the country. We still text every now and then. Empty promises of a reunion does come up from time to time. But since I met him, I learned not to get attached, and it was him who encouraged me to feel confident about my imperfect body. I have a lot of different guys on my contacts list to hit up whenever I need it. Dee was the standing foundation that allowed me to accept my sexuality as an adventure without bias or scrutiny. I will never forget those four years. I would never forget how he made me feel so sexy and so alive. He motivated me to explore the world because it’s not going to explore itself. And perhaps someday, I’ll have enough courage to go on a road trip and surprise him. Anything can happen in this beautiful, vast world.

The Hookup Daze

On my house phone I called him

he picked up immediately and said hello

and I went with the flow

I came over the same day

to a variety of pornos neatly organized on his table

next to a punch bowl full of condoms

and lube packets

and the TV was playing one of the pornos at a very low volume in the background

and I did what I came there to do.

On my flip phone I texted him hello

he replied within the hour

and I came over to his array of pornos thrown haphazardly on his table

a handful of condoms and a few lube packets

and the porno on the TV was a bit louder this time

as if he didn’t care what the neighbors thought of him anymore

and we did what I came there to do.

On my iPhone I texted him hey

and he didn’t respond until later that evening

and I came over and there was only one porno on the table

a couple of condoms

and no more Lube

and the TV was blaring with the porno without a care in the world

and I did what I went there to do.

On my iPhone 5 I texted him hi

and he didn’t respond until the following Monday

and he told me he moved a few towns over

and I almost got lost on my way there

I came over

there was no pornos on the table

no more condoms nor lube

and the TV wasn’t on

it was in the middle of the night

and I try to leave but he begged me to stay

and so I did until 5 in the morning

I missed my shift at work and I got fired.

On my iPhone 6 I sent him a nude photo of me

but he didn’t respond for a whole week

and when he did he told me he had a boyfriend

and for me to back off

I looked at the indent on my right ring finger where my wedding ring used to be

And drove to my new job.

Climax Desired

This pent up desire will resonate within my dreams!

Who am I kidding?!

I am desperate to love and have it reciprocated!

I am needy for your tender touch and passionate embrace!

I am ready to risk it all again!

I hope to God that I feel the fall again!

I want to caress your skin, 

Gnaw at your neck to make you know you’re mine, 

Cradle you in my arms lying in wait of the dawn’s early rise.

I have so much love to give.

No one to give it to. 

I’m tired of being consumed with financial obligations. 

There must be more to life than this chronic toil.

I would make love to you for hours.

I want your fuzzy cake to be my dinner every night.

I don’t even need a plate as I stuff my face until my heart is bloated.

Let the source of your fellatio submerge into your succulent depths.

So much foreplay. 

So much suspense before the climax.

Just get me through this night.

Wear me out so I can rest tomorrow,

And I’ll be strong enough to try.

Laughs and tears shared together.

Xrotica: Ménage à Trois

My ass is an adult playground… and a children’s graveyard. Love doesn’t exist when I live like this. I casually think of death within ten minutes of waking up every single morning. But this is the price I pay for the past I’ve endured and the sin that I submit to each and every day. So… let’s begin, shall we?

I usually only fuck with older men. You know, the cute and cuddly bears that do no wrong. Riiight… Anyway, I have recently come into contact with another cub. A three-year-younger white guy named – let’s call him “Jay.” I met him through one of my best friends. I didn’t think twice about him when we had first met. Jay is a young white gangster with shaggy hair and green eyes.  He had a girlfriend he was madly in love with. Jay probably still is, I don’t doubt that for a second. The first time we met had been with a group of friends. (Think quantity over quality…) However, it was the second time we hung out – with just the best friend I originally met him through – that the ice was broken. Jay suggested that we should have sex. His girlfriend was nowhere to be found, and he had wanted to experiment with another man. After a brief hesitation on my part, I complied, but I didn’t want my best friend to witness what was to happen. My best friend is straight and very accepting of the gay community, but watching two men have sex right in front of him would have crossed the line. And because I live in a studio apartment, my best friend retreated into the restroom, the only area in my apartment where he couldn’t see us commit sodomy…

The third time around, Jay came over to my place. Just me and him. He confessed that he’s bisexual and that he really enjoyed his first gay fuck with me. I was flattered, even honored to hear that. Jay is still in the closet to this day. I’d already had a sip of this promiscuous lifestyle so I’d reasoned I was drunk enough to deal with it. He puts up quite a tough front and a lot of walls defend the opalescence of his vulnerable heart. But as an Empath, I can see right through all of that. His girlfriend left him for one of his long time friends. Jay said so many awful things about her but I mentioned that I had been where he was. I really hurt my ex-fiance. I did horrible things that ruined his reputation and his prize-winning Narcissistic ego. I told Jay that he didn’t hate her for what she did to him, he was merely heartbroken. And so Jay and I made artificial love. I did it so that I can cheer up a friend and he did it to forget about his loss for the time being. Sex is how I’ve cheered a lot of people up. I’m powerless in every other way. That day was nothing special. We did the basics. Blowjobs and anal sex. Jay wasn’t interested in making out or rimming or even being a bottom. To me, it was just another day, but to Jay… I simply don’t know. Yet afterwards, he requested a threesome with me and one of my fuck boys, Dee. My sexual exploits with Dee were legendary.  He tends to disappear for a few months at a time, but Dee always came back to me. I guess my body alone wasn’t good enough to satisfy Jay though. I didn’t take offense like I would have in the past because now I understood the feeling. Nothing satisfies me anymore either. And so I called Dee and left him a message I had no doubt he would respond to.

The very next morning, Jay and I were just playing video games when Dee called me and informed me that he was interested in the threesome shortly after I sent him a picture of Jay in reply to his demand. I always pictured my first threesome to be me along with two bears but Jay and I tag teaming Dee seemed like the way to go. No complaints from me! I showed Jay a picture of Dee 15 minutes prior to the impromptu event. I prepped him about how Dee worked in the sack. I had to make sure Jay wouldn’t be a fucking pussy and bail at the last minute. Having a threesome had been on my bucket list for years. So I quickly gargled some mouthwash, and displayed my collection of porn, lube, and condoms I usually kept atop my dresser during those dry spells I experienced at times. I slipped on the black t-shirt Dee gave me to promote his band, some sports shorts, and a pair of grey sandals just in time for Dee to call again, confirming that he was downstairs. Jay was very nervous but I assured him that Dee was a good man. We rushed down to retrieve him. My face was beaming with delight at the sight of him. What a beautiful man! Dee had to be around 15 years older than me. His haircut looked like it was done within a day or two before. I loved when he got a haircut. I mean, I would fuck with him regardless but that nice edge-up was a definite plus. I practically jumped on him like a schoolboy coming home to find out his deadbeat dad had finally returned. It was the polite thing to do for me to introduce Dee to Jay and vice versa before we all trekked back up to my bedchamber.

I completely forgot Jay was in the room with us when I threw myself on Dee. We began to make out heavy. Our pink, slimy serpents were raging war in our respective dystopias. I held him very tight as both my arms wrapped around his tanned neck, in total submission to a passionate, overdue embrace. Dee played with my bubble butt over my shorts before reaching into the cookie jar. A couple of minutes passed before Dee pulled back and reminded me of Jay’s silent existence, staring in awe of our short-lived, make-out session. His wonderful breath smelled like weed and cigarettes as he whispered in my ear for me to ease my other friend’s discomfort. I kind of felt bad so to compensate for my rude behaviour, I went on my knees as if Jay was my religion, in unholy communion for the bread and wine I received for mere lustful pleasure. Jay’s dick was slightly longer and much wider than Dee’s dick, however it was Dee whose been playing the game far longer than him, even longer than me. Dee knows how to use his meaty extension much better too. Also, Dee was open to ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, AND ANYTIME AT ALL DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA! Anyway, I sucked Jay’s dick like a savage. My tongue licking the shaft of his cock every time my jaw started to ache. His balls were huge! Like the size of cherry tomatoes. Dee eased his way to a crouching position before sucking my dick in return. He nibbled my inner thighs and took a huge whiff of my unique pubic smell he became so used to. Like father, like son, I mimicked everything Dee did to me onto Jay. This went on for quite a while.

Soon enough, Dee stood up and circled around me just to plop his sexy bear ass back down directly behind me to eat me out. His tongue! HIS TONGUE! HIS TONGUE! Oh my god! Wooooooooowwww!!!! It swerved every which way, exploring every crevice as the rosy serpent ceased to impede on its expedition despite it being difficult to do so given that I was kneeling as I continued to deep throat Jay. I suddenly stood up and bent down to continue the fellatio. At this point, Jay grew weary of standing so he sat down on my couch in front of my plasma screen TV. This gave Dee much better access to rimming my plump, hairy ass. Dee’s a fucking animal! Good thing I do yoga on a regular basis because I bent down pretty low. I can press my whole palms on the ground without bending my knees at all. Jay was moaning pretty loud, and Dee shoved my head down a bit further onto Jay’s cock as he shimmied his own cock into my spit-covered hole. Dee didn’t even need to use the lube. His saliva did the trick. So Dee started fucking me bareback as I allowed the push-pull motion to maintain my mouth’s course of action in regards to Jay. I loved how Dee’s cock was just the right size to pleasure me but not so big that it hurt.

Jay’s eyes widened like cherry pies.He must have been surprised that I was able to take Dee’s cock without a groan or grimace. Not even my facial expression changed. If Jay’s eyes were shut to begin with, he wouldn’t have known Dee was pounding me from the back at full velocity. Suddenly, I stood up and commanded Dee to suck Jay off. My jaw needed a break! Geez! So at that point, it was Dee who took my place as the monkey in the middle. I laid on my back first so that I can arch my head and eat him out, you know, to return the favor. I gnawed on, over, under, and in between his ass cheeks. It sounded like I was slurping some Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup and shit. Mmm, mmm good! If he didn’t want to use lube or use a condom, then I wasn’t either. Fuck, it’s the least I could do. There was a small part of me that resents and envies Dee. even now, as I’m typing this for your pleasure. He can have his fucking cake and eat it too. There’s a husband waiting for him at his home, and yet his husband had always been completely fine with all the shit Dee does. I slapped his ass really hard on his bear paw tattoo on his right butt cheek. My middle finger went in his ass at first, shoving it in all the way over and over again! Then two fingers… three… I look back and I wish I’d at least attempted to fist him. Maybe next time…. I clenched my whole arm around his neck, choking him moderately and pulling him away from his oral activity. I bit his ears, licked his neck, and kissed his cheeks and forehead while I pulled his head back. I traced his collar-bone while I asked Dee if he enjoyed my abuse. He nodded earnestly. I loosened my grip on his throat and demanded him to verbalize the affirmation. Dee yelled out “YES!” Then, I let go to spread my legs and bend my knees slightly to try to find a good angle to penetrate my Philanderer. I slowly tapped my uncut cock just above his hole as I watched him devour Jay’s dick. Jay’s eyes were closed tight as a seemingly permanent relaxed smile was displayed on his scruffy face. That turned me on quick. It was the same way Dee sucked me off a few minutes before. I jammed my engorged sex organ into him real hard as I held his waist like it was a life-preserver.

What a feeling of ecstasy! I felt the warmth of his hole encasing my dick whole. Perhaps I was bumping uglies directly on his prostate gland. My cock was never this hard when I jerked off alone during so many sleepless nights. Jay smiled at me and I winked at him in return. Desire’s needs were being met. My world spun at a rapid pace. I shut my eyes while I quickly gyrated my hips. Without looking, I held Dee’s head down on Jay’s cock all the way until he gagged. Jay was in it. He was enjoying himself and I can tell that he no longer felt nervous or uncomfortable at all. Quite the contrary, in fact!

Without notice, Jay held Dee away from his cock because he didn’t want to cum too soon. The perfect syncopation ceased. We all got stood up straight. Dee went into the restroom and gurgled some of my mouthwash, from the sound of it. The action moved from the couch to the bed. I went on all fours at the edge of the bed like a good little doggie, grabbed a pillow to hold and scream into when the time came, and waited for Jay to delve into my mystery. He smeared some lube on his dick and my fat ass. Like I said before, Jay was not into rimming at all. Abruptly, Jay jammed his penis in full force. Ahhhhhhh!!!! His dick had a lot of girth. Motha fucka didn’t even fucking ease it in. It was like a serial killer was chasing him so he had to fucking shove the key into the car ignition as quickly as possible. Fucking asshole! I was okay though. You see, I have been fucked by black guys with the biggest dicks you can imagine so I knew that after a minute or so, my asshole would relax until it became a numbing sensation.

Dee rushed out of the restroom right after spitting out the mouthwash. He marveled at how well I was taking Jay’s anal abuse even as he circled around my bed and laid on his back so I could suck his hairy daddy dick. A new indecorous act took place of the old. Jay fucked me good! All the while, I stared into Dee’s dark, beady eyes as I applied his pink lipstick before succumbing to the bittersweet fellatio once more. However, I couldn’t keep my lips around Dee’s cock for even seconds at a time. Jay fucked me wild! So Dee decided to get back up and watch from the sidelines, observing his cubby being taken from behind by another man. Who knew Dee was a voyeur? He witnessed my face all skewed and distorted as I continued to endure the wonderful pain Jay inflicted on my insides. Dee was smiling ear to ear when he reached his hand out to pet my head. I managed to grab his veiny hand and suck all on his fingers and in between them. Then I resumed resting both my palms on the sheets while Dee let me keep on licking his hand rather vehemently. I stared into his eyes again, smiling through it all, proving to him that my ass’s resilience rivaled my mind’s. Dee’s watch startlingly started beeping very loudly. Apparently, he had to be somewhere else. So, once again, we all stood up.

While Dee got dressed, Jay and I sat on my couch and began jerking each other off. I seductively asked him if he could stay just a bit longer so we can all cum together before his abrupt departure. Unfortunately, he declined my extended invitation. Jay just listened as Dee and I implored in a brief and open dialogue. He was a guitarist in his band. I owned a guitar but every time Dee agreed to teach me how to play, we always just end up fucking. Jay automatically started jerking himself off once I got up to give Dee a hug and kiss farewell. As always, Dee told me he’ll call or text me when he gets the chance for a future rendezvous. I never held my breath but I knew he always contacted me eventually. I unlocked my front door and slid the chain off before he left.

Two cubs resumed pleasuring each other. Jay offered to fuck me again, but by then, my asshole was so damn sore. So we laid on my quilt to finally finish our handjobs. I felt his eyes on me, but I closed mine and pretended Dee had stayed just a bit longer…

 

The War on Grindr Hill

Being a whore is like fighting in a war,
You have to convince yourself that man is nothing but an object.
I always hope that he will burst into life and sweep me off my feet
Yet I anticipate that he never will.
He’s like me;
He’s dead inside.
Shooting him with my loaded gun would be redundant.
I wish there was a blue fairy to animate him,
But if wishes were horses,
We’d all ride.
Thoughts of “no expectations” never reach the surface
For the battlefield is too violent.
I’ll never be the same again.
It changes me forever.
No going back.
My looks aren’t everything.
I may be handsome,
But I’m not Helen of Troy.
So I must retreat into the catacombs upon my noble steed,
Or at least try.
This war will only result in bloodshed.
I have faith that peace is on the other side of every warrior’s descent.
The good is never easy,
The easy never good.

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Xrotica: Another Bear Enters the Cave

So while Dee had been absent since the events that occurred in Xrotica 3, I haven’t just been sitting idly by, waiting for him to call. There’s other men I fuck with. And now that it’s Summer vacation, I have plenty of time to spend with my fuckboys in between periods of looking for a Summer job.

Another fuck buddy I have (let’s call him: “Pro”) got in touch with me a couple nights ago on Growlr. He complimented my profile picture and I did the same. Pro asked if I recognized him. I told him yes. He was actually a teacher I had a while back in high school. A teacher that I actually had quite the crush on for the longest. And I told him just that. I asked if I was too forward but he assured me it was okay. Pro wanted me to initiate whatever would happen next. We were just talking, beating around the bush. I can tell that he didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable or perhaps afraid that a man twice my age, who was once in a higher hierarchy than I was, would want to get intimate with me.

I never had sex with a teacher before, but I always fantasized about it. I watched the teacher and student pornos sometimes to envision this beautiful older man bending me down on his desk to teach me a private lesson I had to stay after school for. Just the thought of it made me precum as Pro and I continued our chat.

He said he was bored and that we can hang out anytime. I told him he can could come right then and there. Why wait? We’re both free. I could host and he could drive so it worked out. So Pro gave me his number and told me to call him in that instant. We talked some more. There was still barely any sexual innuendo uttered between us.

Eventually, he arrived downstairs with a bottle of Hennessey, Red Bull, some Cool Ranch Doritos, and a deck of playing cards. I led him into my bedchambers, but I made sure to hide any condoms, lube, and porn that was laying around my apartment so that it wouldn’t be too obvious. All Pro said was that we were going to drink together, but I had this twinge in my groin that suggested I was going to get lucky tonight.

I told Pro to get comfortable. He placed his belongings down on my living room table. Half the bottle of Hennessey was already consumed. A drunk driver… how reckless. Recklessness is an aphrodisiac, at least it is to me. He told me to finish the rest. I mixed the remaining contents of liquor with the Red Bull before my head was swimming. He hadn’t undressed yet so I didn’t either. Pro asked if I wanted to play strip poker and I said sure. First, he lost and I requested for his shoes to come off. Then, I lost and he wanted me to take off my jacket. And as we were playing, I felt butterflies and goosebumps caress in and on my body respectively. I was going to have sex with my teacher! It seemed surreal, like a dream morphed from nonexistence into my own realm of reality.

Pro had this sexy smile the whole time. The same way he stared at me so long ago. He would be in the middle of one of his interesting lectures, and then he would suddenly flash that exact smile at me while his crow’s feet near his dark eyes highlighted his delight in my presence. Like Dee, he was also a much older hispanic bear that took plenty of interest in my young rican cub body.

At some point, I was completely naked. His eyes soaked in my nudity so his future self could reminisce on this event during solo missions on lonely nights. That’s when he won the game.

We both stood up in unison. Pro knew I wanted him to even the playing field. I glanced at my own body and then at his. I relished in the sight of the mature male figure I had once only imagined would look like in the classroom. The carpet matched the drapes. White hairs swirled with dark brown. A mixture of light and darkness growing all over him. I wrapped my arms around him and allowed our tongues to embrace. I lost myself in our ravenous kiss. I wondered if he was thinking similar thoughts of me all this time as long as I have, or if this idea just occurred to him that night. It was so warm. I felt his face with my sweaty palms and began to kiss his neck before he silently ushered me to my bed. Pro laid down on his back first. I climbed on top of him, but he patted the area of my sheets beside him. So I laid there next to him and sucked his nipples. His nipples were huge, even slightly bigger than mine. I nibbled them like a kitten getting nursed by its mother.

Confessions of his dirty mind came in hushed whispers directly into my right ear. He admitted that he wanted this since he saw me in a play where I was dressed as a woman. One of my questions were put to rest. Pro wanted to fuck me that night in the parking lot outside the school while I was still in costume. He knew I wanted him back then like I was having him at that moment. There were times he wanted me to follow him into his office after class so I could deep throat him in the privacy of his workplace. Sometimes, Pro even fantastized about me and another student tasting his front and back at the same time. All these hidden truths came to life in my mind as I continued to abuse his nipples up until he grabbed my head and pushed it onto his dick. His pubic aroma eradicated my sinuses. I indulged in his bulge until the magic inflating it reached full potential. He ordered me to ride his dick with my fat ass. I asked if that was my latest assignment. He vigorously nodded while he made me his bitch. That was my nickname. Bitch. As I rode him, I choked him and he held my thighs roughly. Soon enough, his hips started to cramp. His agility and stamina made me forget how old he really was. I got off him and I gently massaged where his pain was. Pro moaned at the soft feel of my touch. Then, I rested my hand on his face and asked if he was okay. He confirmed.

That was when I went on my hands and knees. Pro grabbed the lube and a condom. He smeared my ass with it. I wished my bear licked my honeypot before refilling it with honey, but it must have slipped his intelligent mind in the eagerness to penetrate me. I gasped in excitement at the exact second it slipped in. I yelled aloud my wonderment as to whether or not I was being a good boy. He patted me on my back with praise. Aye, papi! Daddy! Fuck me! fuck me! FUCK ME! It took a long time but Pro didn’t even cum. He became lethargic so we laid back down and jerked off together. He urged me to give him my “leche” because my milk belonged to him. But it was Pro’s volcano that erupted all over me first. It was so warm, glistening under the light of the TV. My TV tried so hard to drown out the sounds that Yogi Bear and Boo Boo made in the middle of the night. This made me so fucking horny! But it still took Pro to finger my fat ass for a few minutes until I finally was able to serve him the milk he so desperately craved.

Artificial love continued to feign such realness when we piled into my shower to wash up. I rubbed his cock with soap and water to scrub it nice and clean. I told him he was adorable, so fucking cute, that I wanted him to be my teddy bear to hold for the night. Unfortunately, Pro couldn’t stay the night. But he did linger a bit longer. Pro and I talked shit about the other teachers and that he actually fucked another teacher I had that same year.

At one point, we had a little heart-to-heart. It was wonderful! We spoke of past relationships and we shared things in confidence. Then that smile came back and he suggested we take part in a threesome. On his phone, he revealed his other fuck buddies’ pictures and videos as a means to shop for a third addition to our sin. One of his black friends had a big fucking cock! Pro mentioned he wanted to watch me get fucked by this friend of his. However, I suggested that Dee should be that third addition. He said he’ll let me know and for me to send him a picture of Dee once he left.

So, Pro made sure that he had all his stuff. But he let me keep the bag of Doritos and the deck of playing cards. Pro said I should practice with the cards for next time I hosted for him. How sweet!

Finally, we both hovered around my front door. I wore my undies and my jacket with my hairy chest showing while Pro was now fully clothed once more. He gave me a kiss goodbye. Yet I pretended for a brief second to trap him in my apartment. It was cute. Pro made this face until I unlocked my door. He turned around on his way out to further soak in my image to embed it for future use. I gave him a very flirtatious look before I playfully closed the door in his face.

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Second Best

Hello to my courageous fallen angels! Lately I’ve been talking to a new romantic interest for the first time in two years (apart from my married friend with benefits and that guy from PRIDE club who led me on the whole time just to tell me he already had a boyfriend), but this time, it finally seems to be mutual.

If you have been following me for a while, you’ll know that I was once engaged to my ex-fiance. I proposed to a man twice my age because I really loved him, but our relationship was shaky from the start. He was living with an ex of his when we first met. He was condescending and controlling. He was so handsome and charming.  Only God knows what The Narcissist did behind my back. It terrified me how much I cared for him. I gave up my beliefs, my morals, and my dreams when I fell in love with him. I always told myself that if things didn’t work out with him, I would forever be condemned to settle for second best. Perhaps I jinxed myself when I placed him on a metaphorical pedestal. After all this time, thoughts of him still plague my mind at night, and tearing at my insides like a savage hunger. I look back and I realize that there were so many red flags that I refused to see. I had to let him go. He had total power over me, but enough was enough. The hardest thing I ever did was walk away from a man that I’m still, to this day, madly in love with.

Now with this new guy, I feel awful for even thinking that he’ll never compare to my ex-fiance. That I’ll never love him or anyone else, for that matter, ever again. But I need to give him a chance. He doesn’t have to compare to my ex, but he can be a different, more healthy romance.

I have been on my own for so long though. I have forgotten what love and desire even feels like in this chronic loneliness. I feel so dead inside. Like I’m just half-alive, going through the subtle waves of life until my inevitable and anticipated demise.

I was disowned by my family on my 18th birthday. But even before that, I had a feeling my mother stopped caring about me once I came out at 14 because she was a devout muslim and homosexuality was the devil to her. She probably planned my abandonment for the following four years. I was homeless, then I lived in a halfway house, and now I have my own apartment. For the first time, I’m paying bills, attending college as a full-time student, and looking for a new job. So technically, I don’t really need anyone. It’s just that there are so many lonely nights and all the one night stands I lost count of from those gay hookups apps are never enough. Artificial love isn’t as good as the real thing.

At this point, being in a relationship will result in me being either too clingy or too guarded. Honestly, I’d rather be too guarded if those were my only two options. I would like to at least keep my pride intact if nothing else.

It takes courage to open yourself up to someone after a heartbreak that you can very well never fully get over. But I can’t live like this anymore. If I find out he’s not as good a person as I’d like him to be, then I don’t have to put up with any shit from him or anyone else. I see more clearly now. Blindness and love are no longer synonymous terms. I love myself more than anyone else ever will. I am the only constant variable in my life. Everyone else tends to fade away after a while. I can’t get attached again… I just can’t….

What is a healthy relationship? I don’t know but maybe I’ll find out someday. If it’s not him, it’s someone else, right? See? I’m such a pessimist. I’m already planning on what to do if things go wrong with this new guy.

Well, wish me luck, my fallen angels! Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Mania II

Mania I

Take me back! I’ll literally crawl to you! I need you! I’m half-alive without you! After all this time, I still love you! I don’t want anyone else! Any other man I would end up with will always be second best to you! It felt like kisses when you abused me! Hit me! Yell at me! Take all your frustrations and pent-up rage out on me! Please! I beg of you! Love me again! Want me the way you did when you first saw me! Make me your bitch! Anything… just be here with me tonight! I don’t have a support system. I don’t have close family or friends. I’ve been unloved for so long. Neglected and abused. My life is hell! Sometimes I think God hates me. Did I do something nefarious and unforgivable in a past life? Am I the reincarnation of Job? What’s wrong with me? My love, only you can cure me of this madness with your own brand of madness that only you can bestow upon me! My heart, my soul, my body, my mind, my belongings are all yours! I’m on my knees for your bittersweet fellatio, my holy communion. My religion is you, my handsome devil. My love…

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Xrotica: The Return of Dee

 

Around three months had passed since I’ve shared my body with Dee. I jacked off every night thinking about all our various sexual encounters in the past. The time we fucked in a deserted park at two o’clock in the morning. All the times he swallowed my load. That time he let me cum on his face as I screamed out “that’s all, folks!”

Dee was the best sex I ever had.

There’s a part of me that’s hurt that he’s married and didn’t tell me until over a year after our physical relationship began. But I care about him deeply and I know any love I have for him won’t be reciprocated, at least not fully. However, I accepted the way things were.

Sometimes, Dee backs off from me months at a time because by now, he can tell when I’m starting to get too attached to him. I can tell he feels bad that I have these feelings he can’t return, but he cannot deny the pure sexual chemistry that we garner for one another.

He messaged me on Growlr that morning by unlocking his private photos followed by a “hey.” My initial reaction was to be upset, but I knew he kept his distance for a good reason. Once I saw his picture of his bare ass in a jockstrap and one of his beautiful penis, I confessed my undying lust for him almost immediately. So we agreed to meet that evening after I came back from college for the day. Eventually, the time came, cued by the “im here” message ding on the app.

I rushed downstairs to retrieve him, but I paused before I turned the corner. I took a deep breath. I allowed a few seconds to pass with absolute silence and anticipation before I opened the locked door for him. I thought about just grabbing him and making out with him right there in the lobby, but I fought that urge and played it cool. We exchanged a bit of small talk while climbing up the two flights of stairs to my apartment.

Waiting for us was the plethora of pornos and condoms I liked to display on the table prior to his arrival.

I told him calmly to get himself comfortable. As I turned around to put my shoes away, he hugged me and I hugged him back. I almost forgot how his hugs felt. He was a gay bear and I was his gay cub. I rubbed my face on his beard. I noticed he grew a few grey hairs since the last time we fucked. It was cute. I kissed his neck a bit until after I felt my dick twitching, engorged with excitement.

Before it went far, he subtly ended the embrace and gave me a present from the contents of his backpack. It was a black and yellow jockstrap. It reminded me of Batman. Oh, how I love Batman… It was the second jockstrap Dee ever gave me and I loved it. Dee pulled some other stuff out from his backpack: lube, some weed, and poppers (I think that’s what they’re called; the nose stuff you inhale to get high).

Then, he mentioned he needed to rinse off in my shower and I said that was fine.

I sat there on the couch playing with myself and watching this porno where the central premise was older men fucking younger men. I enjoyed the company of older men than I did with guys my age. It’s always been that way. When I was a child, it was my dad at home or my male teachers at school that satisfied me. Then it was my ex whose 40 now. Mind you, I’m turning 22 next week. Anyway, Dee came out the shower and quickly dried himself off with my towel. He appeared completely nude. I didn’t know if it was my imagination or if I wasn’t paying enough attention before but he had a lot of tattoos. The only tattoo he had that I was definitely familiar with was the bear paw on his right buttcheek because I liked to hit it.

Dee put his clothes back on so we can catch up and update each other about our lives. Sometimes I wished we didn’t talk like that because it made it more difficult to contain my emotions. We began to smoke some weed and inhale the poppers. My head was swimming! I started laughing uncontrollably. Dee thought it was cute. Then, we made out heavy. My tongue explored his in ways I only imagined doing in the last few months. I exchanged a torrent of kisses all over his face and neck. His collarbone was quite prominent for a man his size. Dee’s skin was so soft beneath my hungry fingertips.

I got off him abruptly. He stood up and pulled his dick out of his bright red boxer briefs. I grabbed it and shoved it vigorously into my mouth. I hugged his waist as I took brief breaks by licking his balls and fingering him. I licked the shaft of his cock, teasing him for a few seconds before continuing to indulge in sexual intoxication. He kept putting the poppers near my nose for me to inhale. I kept getting headrushes and his cock stifled my stoner laughs.

Suddenly, he told me to stop so he wouldn’t cum too soon and ushered me up so we stood up and made out even more. I wanted us to last as long as possible without cumming but that wasn’t an easy task for either of us.

I suggested we resume on my bed. He laid down on his back and then I climbed on top of him. My breathing heaved in unleashed desire while we continued our kiss. Dee sat up slowly so that I was sitting on his lap. My legs stretched on either side of his hips. He pushed me on my back and took hold of my inflated cock. Woooooowww!!!! I loved giving head but being a bottom verse, it was rare for a guy to want to suck me off for a change. I felt his tongue latch onto my foreskin before he peeled it back. This gorilla knew how to unpeel a banana without his hands. His tongue went in circles! Clockwise… counterclockwise…. He put both my balls into his mouth until it was as if it just hit him that my asshole was a couple inches away. Good thing I do yoga regularly because he held my legs way back in order to eat my ass out like he was a homeless man at a free buffet. Daaaammmmnnnnn!!! I liked getting my ass rimmed a bit more than getting head. I kept inhaling the poppers every few minutes. Dee alternated between tasting my dick and my ass. It felt like ecstasy! I haven’t felt that good in so long! I forgot about my ex, my homework, and all my worries and fears.

After what felt like forever, he shimmied over me so that his dick was in my face. I arched my neck to reach for it with just my lips. He fucked my face good. I breathed through my nose and tapped his thigh every time I gagged. He grabbed my head and fucked it deeper and faster. We 69’d for a while until his fear of a premature orgasm came back. He pulled away. I wanted it back in my mouth but I knew it was better to hold off of sucking him for a little bit. We got up again, and Dee went on his knees and had seconds. My sexy bear loved to eat and I wasn’t gonna deprive him of my food. I thought I was gonna cum so I stopped him and made him lay on his stomach. I ate him out while tracing his bear paw tattoo. I spread those cheeks far apart and just stared at his bare ass for a moment. Next time I have enough money to spare, I’m gonna get a bear paw on each of my buttcheeks and I’ll make sure that another sexy bear applies it. I stared into his gaping asshole. So hairy and pink and beautiful. I tried to memorize how it looked with my spit all over it so I could jerk off to that memory later that night. I gnawed at every area just outside his hole before heading right back into it. I reached for a condom and his bottle of lube and smeared his ass with it. I put on the condom fast but swiftly. Dee arched his back just a little so that I had better access to penetration. I always knew when the car entered the garage whenever he moaned in surprise. The bed was rapidly shaking as I laid on top of him and shoved his head on one side. Every time he moved his head, I shoved it back to the position I wanted it to be in. He kept groaning louder as I was in balls deep. I kissed his neck and whispered, “you like when a cub dominates you, huh, papi?” Dee nodded earnestly before I went faster. All this excitement kept making my dick slip out too many times. So we decided to just jerk off in each other’s arms. I stared into his dark brown eyes, not once did they blink. Sometimes, my line of sight veered to his dick and his impatient hands, so eager to achieve orgasm. He hovered over me as his hot load squirted onto my tummy, chest, and neck. Dee fingered me a bit before I came too. I moaned loudly as my cum started off landing on my thighs and stomach until the last of it blinded me completely. It splashed everywhere.

I wanted Dee to consume both our nonexistent children but he told me before that he had limited time before he had to go to a social gathering. It sucked that I didn’t have mouthwash at the time or else he probably would have cleaned my body of the moist, transparent fluid oozing down the sides of my body before it meandered down onto my bedsheets. He went into my bathroom as I wiped myself off with my jizz rag instead.

I laid there for a minute listening to my sink run and this sadness began to encase my thoughts once more. I didn’t want Dee to leave. I hated when he had to leave. But this was the sacrifice I had to make in order to maintain our beneficial friendship. I never knew when he’ll come back or if he’ll decide I’m getting too attached to him again. So once he was dressed, I asked if we can make this a weekly thing. Dee always saw through my smile and noticed my sad, puppy eyes that it attempted to hide. He hugged me once more and promised me that he would text me the next day. He knew I would miss him. Due to radical acceptance, I had to accept that he was married and that it was my choice to endure the pain of his absence along with the pleasure of his ongoing arrival.

The sex was so intense that Dee lost the top to his poppers vial. So he left behind the dried up remnants of it on my bathroom sink. He assured me that it was okay shortly after I began looking for it. Dee made sure he had everything he came in with apart from the jockstraps he gave me as well. I was already dressed, prepared to walk him down to his car, but he told me it was good enough to say goodbye in my apartment. I bade him farewell before he departed as our fuck session was in the beginning stages of becoming just another distant memory.

 

image

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian