New Year’s Resolutions 2016

Hello to my happy fallen angels! The new year is just around the corner! You all probably noticed a lot of other bloggers already posting their New Year’s resolutions. Perhaps you’ve done a post like this in the past couple days already or maybe I just gave you an idea for the topic of your next blog post. Whatever it may be, I’m happy to instill my season’s greetings upon you all.

New Year’s resolutions for 2016:

1. Join more clubs at my college
2. Read more books
3. Make new friends
4. Be less introverted
5. Continue going to the gym regularly
6. Study more often
7. Get my driver’s license
8. Buy my first car
9. Publish more books
10. Be more positive

So what are your New Year’s resolutions? I would love it if you shared them with me in a comment below. I love you all and I thank you for all the likes, comments, and follows I obtained in 2015! And it was a pleasure returning the favor too. Have a wonderful end of the year! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: Thanks for reading 🙂

So What’s New?

Good morning to my blessed fallen angels! It’s been a while since I last checked in. I have been so busy with studying for finals week before the semester is up. Also, I have been having a better holiday season than I thought I would. Most people would think my negativity is nothing good. However, I disagree. You see, I don’t put any expectations on anyone or anything. I assume the worst. It is this way of thinking that allows me to live a disappointment-free life. It’s either “I expected that to happen” or “Wow! I’m so surprised!” Anyway, it was because of my negativity that had me thinking that maybe I should try to be more positive for a change. This resulted in my Salvation mini-series comprising of five short entries. I got a lot of great feedback from it. I tend to get more likes and comments when I’m positive so I guess that’s another incentive for being a good boy. Lol. Hmm… what else? Oh yeah! Don’t think I forgot about posting about when I did drag several weeks ago. I have all the pictures in a draft already. Now I’m just waiting for the camera crew at my college to edit and submit the video for ComiQueens onto my college website so I can add it to my draft. Also, I’m still working with a fellow blogger to do a co-blog collaboration. However, I haven’t heard from him lately. I hope he’s doing okay. I have recently began to publish a book of poems and short stories that I actually merely copied and pasted straight from my blog. I call the poetry book, Trials and Tribulations (TaT). I submitted it as my second book on Kindle Direct Publishing and I will do the same for all the other online eBook distributions that I used to publish my first book, The Pandemonium Chronicles: The Merge Between Heaven and Hell. As well as eBook, I’m also getting it in printed format with a local printing company that’s partnered up with this organization I work for to promote it locally. I have been attending YasBiz events and planning to host classes with them myself to teach people how to make their own blogs. YasBiz is an organization where young entrepreneurs in my state can be given an opportunity to promote their creations and make a business out of them, whether it’s a writing career or a bakery or even an art studio. They provide funding and everything! There’s more to it than that but I don’t really want to get into that, to be honest. I actually went to the YasBiz end of the year celebration party last night. One of my good friends got an award because she published two books of poetry and she won the raffle at the end of the event. It was her big night and I am so proud of her for all her achievements. People like us had hard, traumatic pasts but I can only imagine how my friend felt last night. I want to have that same feeling. I can’t wait until I get an award for my writing. I can’t always be negative. If I let my mental health problems render me from pursuing my life goals, then my dreams will dry up like a raisin in the Sun. My mental health problems will always be a part of me but it is everything I have been through that have made me so resilient and stronger than I ever thought possible. Thank you so much, my fallen angels, for sticking by through thick and thin with me. I love you all so much and good luck on your own personal endeavors. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: Thanks for reading 🙂

Change of pace

To my future soul mate:

I don’t know when or how we will meet. But I know as of right now, I’m not ready to meet you yet. I’m saving up for a car and I’m so close to getting my license. I’m currently in college studying Psychology to become a therapist but I don’t even have my Associate’s degree yet. I have a job as a Suicide Hotline Operator but I would prefer a career one day. I go to church every Sunday but I haven’t been baptized yet. I live in a studio apartment but someday I wanna own a house with you. I’m still not 100% over my ex-fiance and I would never want you to be a mere rebound. You are too important to be someone’s replacement. I work out three to four times a week but I still don’t have my ideal body yet. I wanna be the best version of myself by the time God places you in my path. And I hope you will be the best version of yourself too. You will be so handsome in my eyes even if other people don’t see you the same way. Even your imperfections will have the ability to resurrect my desire. I have forgotten how it feels to truly love. Please help me remember and never let me forget it.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: Thanks for reading 🙂

My imagination will die with me

All my unpublished novels, unheard original songs, unread poems, and my infamous views of the world are most likely are going to die with me. Blogging instills the illusion that I already met fame. I tried to establish a writing career only to be jibbed off by Xlibris Publishing. They only care about money. I tried to introduce my lyrics to a music industry but they never have the time to see me. They don’t want to hear it. The poems are more for myself but I like to share them from time to time just to see if anyone replies. My love is becoming imaginary. After everything I have been through, apathy is taking its course. After my ex told me he never loved me to being with, my walls are built once more. I have so much love to give but no one can live for real in fantasy. My imagination will die with me. I don’t know when, I don’t know where, but it seems my efforts to proclaim my dreams are futile. Even people I happen to keep in my life are starting to get bummed out by me now. It’s not like I want to give up because if I did, I would end my life. The fact that I haven’t done that yet should show the inevitable hope I garner that my imagination will become real and my goals in life will be worth it after all the trials and tribulations have finally ceased, if they ever will. My barber gave me an eyecut along with the haircut. The brush my barber used to wipe extra hair from my face without warning cut my eyeball. I had to go to the emergency room and it tooks six hours to be seen. I have to apply eye ointment every four hours for the next five days. Not eye drops. Ointment. Hardest medication to apply to the body. I guarantee it.  Before this happened, I got poison ivy recently when I participated in the church clean up last weekend. Is that what I get for helping the church? Then my sister-in-law asking me why I’m always suicidal. And I don’t like how she treats my brother but there’s nothing I can do about that. That all happened in one weeks time. It leaves me wondering what’s worse: my brother’s marriage or my chronic loneliness? I feel like everything I say will always be the tip of the iceberg. I had the same therapist for over two years. The only one that never gave up on me. She knows me more than anyone. Yet I don’t think I can ever express myself 100%. Maybe there’s a lot of things in life that just simply can’t be acknowledged verbally. A type of spiritual endeavor everyone faces. I need a spiritual guide or something. I’m so lost. I know I’m just bitching right now and I might sound like a teenage rebel, but believe it or not but this is helping me a lot right now. Im sitting in my apartment with all the lights off because my right eyeball is very sensitive to the light. My phone’s brightness as low as can be. My cat keeping me company. That unconditional love my feline friend and I share is the same way people should be but they’re not. Always building defenses and afraid to take the risk of letting anyone in. Anyway it’s like my emotional and psychological monstrosities are displaying themselves to my human vessel. A reflection of my depression as physical pain. I lost my mind years ago and it seems now all the other components that makes me who I am are starting to deteriorate as well. Who have I become? Job from the Bible? The darkness is taking over but my faith in God and my hope to save others like me by telling you all about me is good enough to keep on going. My imagination will die with me but hopefully my brave storytelling will help you on your own personal endeavors too. That is the grace God bestows upon me.


Have a wonderful day, my fallen angels! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! 🙂