Hello to my reclusive fallen angels! It seems I’m always chastised for being the only one whose honest. I’m infatuated with him. I don’t know him that well yet to have legitimate feelings but I’m aware of a few things about him that aren’t bad at all. He’s caring, artistic, funny, smart, and he’s one of the most beautiful men I have ever known. He enjoys playing video games and he knows his way around cosmetics. The thing is that I was a DCF kid. My childhood composed of trauma and abuse which led me to growing so accustomed to The System that I never learned the social skills needed to interact with Normies (people who were never in The System and is sane enough to appear normal even if they’re not). I believe that I never fully adapted to the real world; I never successfully transitioned from a hospital ambience to the community setting. This theory would definitely explain why I’m so socially awkward. I have a habit of making people feel uncomfortable and actually taking pleasure in it. You see, in psych wards, talking about depression, suicide, rape, and the like were topics of conversation. We made humor out of it because they were the only things to define our lives. It’s why I have a very dark, warped sense of humor. I know it’s hard to take me seriously but I use humor as a coping/defense mechanism. If I stop laughing, I’ll fall apart. It’s why I feel all alone in the world. I know I talk about loneliness a lot but it’s my only reality. I don’t know how to allow my crush to take me seriously; that I’m not a joke and that I’m not only interested in sex. I didn’t think he was into me until I found out he volunteered to do my makeup for the drag show I spoke of in my post, Drama Infestation. I don’t know with him. He’s wishy-washy. I don’t want to put my hopes up too high but I can’t wait to see if our O’s will become X’s soon. I’m not afraid to be honest. Maybe at least one of my fallen angels will read this and muster up the courage to be honest too. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

The Ritual

Good morning to my addicted fallen angels! Feel free to partake a generous portion of pure selfish indulgence today! Whether it’s liquor or cigarettes or food or sex or even love. But despite all the loved ones in our lives that we hold dear, aren’t we all just selfish and alone? Maybe I’m just paranoid or maybe I’m a bit touched in the head but from my life experience as of now, I realized that you can never know, trust, or rely on someone 100%. Perhaps some of us cannot accept these harsh truths. And maybe this theory doesn’t only have to do with people. Co-dependency and always feeling like it’s not enough is where addiction is born and forged into our minds. Some of us who have acknowledged our unique addiction tend to gravitate towards anonymous meetings if they choose to seek help. Unfortunately, sometimes an addiction exists yet is never treated or even admitted by the addictor. So they continue to let their addiction consume them as it gets bigger and bigger and harder to control. Some even think it’s the norm. The ritual revolving around the seven deadly sins peaks the most interest. Let’s be honest: Overeat. Seek vengeance. Hookup with a sexy stranger. Don’t go to church. Pity those who are less fortunate. Always get more than you need. Backstab a friend for they have what you don’t. We all do it but that doesn’t mean it’s good for you. If you have an addiction to anything, seek help immediately because it will only get worse if left untreated. I have been discussing addiction in a few of my previous posts because, personally, I have come to realize that I have a certain type of addiction too. If you read any of my archives, you’ll probably figure it out yourself. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Is “being human” an excuse to sin?

Hello to my fallen angels! As you all know, I am a very spiritual person. As people, we tend to use the excuse, “I’m human. I make mistakes.” But is it a way to convince yourself and others that sinning is okay? I see and hear others sin all the time. Adultery. Hypocrisy. Lust. Vengeance. Gluttony. (Unfortunately America is well-known for their “gluttony.”) It’s true that humans aren’t perfect and striving towards perfection is daunting. However I believe we should at least try. If you’re cheating on your spouse, own up to your sins. It’s may be scary to face your scorned lover, but they deserve to know the truth. Whatever happens after will happen naturally. They might want to talk about it, they might want to kick your ass out, or maybe just break up. Certain things in life can be resolved assertively. I think it would be rather redundant to list ways to prevent the sins I listed earlier. But my point is, it’s cowardly to hide behind lies and excuses to justify committing a sin. If you are aware of what you’re doing, work on trying to stop. Who knows? Some people are not aware of the harm they cause others, but God will always find a way to point out and make you pay for the sins you may commit. Karma. What goes up must come down. Only the truly wicked sin, know they are sinning, but never do anything to change their ways. So saying “I’m human. I make mistakes” only works in some cases. If you forgot to take out the trash or incorrectly filled out an application for a job, for instance, those are mistakes. And if you always feel you must get even with someone or if you murder people, then those are straight up sins. Know the difference between a mistake and a sin. It’s a lot to ask for you to contribute to making the world a better place for us all, but at least try. Have a wonderful day, my imperfect-but-still-beautiful fallen angels! Over and out.