Salvation XI

“Do you think every person in the world is part of one huge cluster? And that we’re all tied together somehow? Even total strangers?” I think so because of the farmers who supply our grocery stores or politicians who can alter our nation in even the most subtle ways all contribute to the cluster. The economy, social media, air travel, the fine arts, music, movies… everything! In a way, it’s a bit comforting to know we are all the same species. There must be far worse malevolent forces in the universe apart from ourselves. We must band together to save our planet and all its inhabitants. There’s only one Sun, one Moon, one me, and one you. There’s such little time to prove just how much we appreciate each other. Although, one connection between a certain set of people may indeed vary in frequency compared to another, I must ascertain the notion that these dark secrets and ulterior motives that do occur in a much larger scale, all derive from distorted desires. Disappointment and needs that failed to be met, especially during childhood, are to blame for such atrocities. If there was a way to satisfy everyone’s needs (apply equity to our everyday lives), we may be able to ultimately dispose of corruption. You must have faith, not just during the miracles, but even when there aren’t any.

Salvation IX

I         II       III       IV       V       VI      VII       VIII

Peering at life through a keyhole,
You’re more refined than you’ve ever been before,
But you still have more wisdom and experience to acquire.
Trembling like a god,
Holding up half the sky to say
That you can’t do it on your own.
Just because you stumble and lose your way,
It doesn’t mean you’re lost forever.
Sometimes we all need a little help.
Compassion makes you chary.
Yet you still can see beyond the walls
They made their homes from their pasts many years ago.
Their torment overwhelms you.
It seems easier to give in to the mayhem you uncover,
But it’s not their pain you’re afraid of,
It’s your own.
And as frightening as that may be,
That desolation will make you stronger.
If you allow yourself to intuit the sorrow –
Encompass it –
It will make you more powerful than you can ever imagine.
It’s the most cogent gift to have,
To bear their agony without falling apart,
And resilient empathy is born from the most human power…
Hope.

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

No One Told Me

No one told me
We’re all diamonds
Taking shape
Everyday

No one told me
My reach extends far
Everything I want
Is just a dream away

No one told me
We sporadically permeate
Playing freely
Like stars in the night

No one told me
We all enthrall such precious magic
Brewing beauty in its depths
And that it can stay

No one told me
Under all this pressure
Under all this weight
Paradise isn’t just surreal

No one told me
We are all legends
We all need each other
Loneliness isn’t real

No one told me
I don’t have to die by sunlight
Only I own me
And that’s okay, my friend

No one told me
We only live once
In this grand adventure
You make me feel alive again

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Salvation VIII

Salvation I

Salvation II

Salvation III

Salvation IV

Salvation V

Salvation VI

Salvation VII

Anyone is capable of great benevolence and great evil,
Good deeds are hardly altruistic,
But they’re still good deeds,
No matter what background –
Or terrible upbringing –
You may blame for being half-alive.
Even in the deepest depths of despair lies such a benign unknown,
The beauty in this world indeed exists.
I’ve witnessed it a few times myself.
It may seem nugatory and scarce,
Yet losing faith in the beautiful uncertainties in life
Would hurt tenfold compared to any pain that evil can ever inflict upon you.
You are entitled to your own destiny.
The fork in the road lies bare
To a flow chart of decisions.
So where will you go from here?

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Walking on Water

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Savage winds were sirens
beckoning me to die
Ghastly lightning strikes
Pinned me down near the oars
They plunged into the briny deep
Laughing thunder mocked my helpless cries
I screamed in agony
So sure of my demise
Lo and behold!
Beneath the stormy clouds was a standing man
He wore a shimmering ivory gown
With hair a trough of milk chocolate trails
“Do you have faith in me?” He asked as if I can
Despite this chaotic typhoon brewing
I honestly answered in affirmation
So he extended his right arm
He announced for me to walk towards him
Goosebumps coiled around my arms in response
A flash of undeniable beauty
Relinquished all doubt
So I tentatively placed my right foot forward
Onto the ocean’s surface
And removed the other
From the canoe’s uncertainty
Now I was a standing man
Gazing fondly at the original
My eyes never veered away from him
His exuberance negated disorder
Waves were crashing all about
Yet now the natural world respected me
Until fear pulled its hold on me once more
I began to panic and shriek
Pausing midway to close my eyes
Enprisoning my soul within my gates again
Old habits die hard
Longer than a blink
I awoke on a ship
Recalling a lustrous illusion
Gone but true

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Salvation VII

Salvation I     Salvation II     Salvation III    Salvation IV    Salvation V     Salvation VI

There will always only be one such existence as yourself.
You are nobody else…
That is why everything you do –
Or touch
Or construct
Or modify
– is something only you and you alone could have done.
Just by breathing,
even if just a little,
you changed the world around you for the better.
You may be despondent,
but the world you live in will continue to go on.
The home to this insane and magnificent guild –
the world that your life itself has changed,
no matter how paltry.
You exist as a fragile,
porcelain gear amongst many within the turning of the world clock.
A person’s life isn’t defined by grand accomplishments.
There’s no need to further pursue a timeless quest to justify your existence,
Or anyone else’s for that matter…
You are alive!
Does that not itself give meaning to your life?

Feel free to check my latest book, a book of poetry called Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018ZR0IVA/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1460319936&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=trials+and+tribulations+sufian

Long Gone

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Heartbeat decreases
Pick up the pieces
Of a heart that’s long gone

Reinvent the wheel
Tell me how you feel
Of a heart that’s long gone

The Sun’s rays are too bright
You will combust in the light
Let the heat melt your broken heart
Let it pour into the mold of a new start

It will freeze in the dark
That’s the only way it resurrects
It will heal in the dark
Silence forms mental constructs

Waiting’s the worst part
Staring at a work of art
Of a heart that’s long gone

Chronokinesis
Formulate a thesis
Of a heart that’s long gone

The moon’s soldiers shine so bright
Shooting stars in the night
Let the constellations fade
They’re only missed when farewell they bade

You will flourish like sand in the wind
That’s the only way you’ll move on
You will live because you’re a godsend
Only the past is dead and long gone

Feel free to like and comment on this post and I will do the same for you. Also, please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B012BSPFCQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1452971409&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles

Free Choice

Hello to my inconsistent fallen angels. I’m so sorry that I haven’t been blogging nearly as much as I used to. I have been in a rut for the longest. I have major depression and bipolar disorders. I’m sick of people saying that they’re just labels because if they were so, then they wouldn’t exist to begin with. I have serious issues and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I have nothing left to lose and I don’t feel like the world owes me anything. It is what it is. I’m refusing to take my meds. I’m a grown ass man so I can do that. No medication in the world can cure a broken heart or loneliness. I have to be patient and go through the motions. I have to resist this urge to quit everything in my life, such as college or this blog. I already quit my job and the GSA at my college so my resistance isn’t perfect but I have more important obligations I refuse to give up on. I found friends in the most unlikely places and I’m more blessed than I give myself credit for. However, I’m not afraid of death nor am I afraid of man. I’m only afraid of the things I can’t see. It’s those things that gives my life meaning and purpose. Things that require faith in order to establish within our own realities. Well I hope you understood my psychobabble. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like and comment on this post and I will do the same for you. Also, please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B012BSPFCQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1452971409&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles

A Short Sabbatical

Hello to my living fallen angels! I got discharged from a psych ward for the millionth time the other day. I tried to commit suicide once again. I overdosed last week and I was sure that I would finally die this time around because I took a lot of pills and chased them down with some cough syrup. I’m very disappointed that I survived but I know there’s a small part of me that is glad I did. If I honestly 100% wanted to die, then I could jump in front of a train or jump off a certain 11-floor building… It turns out that I kinda wanna live. I was overdue for a vacation and my local psych ward was just the place to unwind and heal from the stressors that make up the majority of my existence. I made a lot of great friends at the hospital. It seems like the mental health system is where I make all my friends worth staying in touch with. I don’t have much in common with Normies (people who were never in the mental health system and are therefore deemed “normal”) so I tend not to establish friendships with them. I realize my light side is just as influential to my life as my dark side is. I have a lot going for me. I’m pursuing a career in Psychology through college. I work as a suicide hotline operator (ironic, isn’t it?) and that opens the door for joining Recovery University, where I can further indulge in my chosen field. I want to be a mental health psychologist. That way, I could still be in the ambience of the hospital without being a patient. Two distinct halves of me learned to balance in equilibrium. One being that “if I ever found out I had cancer, I honestly would feel relieved.” The other being that “we’re all human subjected to trials and tribulations and I can’t find it in me to hate or hold grudges against anyone.” Anyway, now I’m just trying to get back into the grooves and patterns of my everyday life again. I love you all, my fallen angels! We are doing the best we can! Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like and comment on this post and I will do the same for you. Also, please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B012BSPFCQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1452971409&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles

Salvation VI

Salvation:
I II III IV V

I really admire the people who are closer towards pursuing their own salvation than I am.
There’s no need to be envious or to posthaste.
It’s harder to chant the truth that I’m ahead of some like some are of me.
The pursuit of happiness isn’t a race.
It’s a herd of lamb led by a shepherd.
Our wool upon our backs vary in weight.
Our hooves are different in girth and shape.
However it’s our goals that allow us to persevere through our shortcomings.
We’re all born in glass houses and opposable thumbs make it effortless to throw stones.
Look at how imperfect we are!
Blurred silhouettes of lamb-men hybrids consumed by the desire to be normal.