Salvation II

I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings –
However I can’t save you from your morbid cynicism.
I humbly repent for my sins in nostalgic recollection of a felicitous truth.
This world of forms is full of endless possibilities.
Each living entity has an entirely unique experience.
The sights they see, the sounds they hear.
The lives they live are so labyrinthine… and yet so unadorned.
Because you’re something extraordinary.
You’re a human being.

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An Angel’s Awakening (A-CUBED)


Good morning to my blessed fallen angels! I finally got baptized today! It’s been long-awaited. (Aww! Look at me in my church clothes as opposed to my gothic garb.) I’m officially an Episcopalian now! I love my church family! I love God! People can disappoint me, betray me, neglect me, abuse me, avoid me, judge me, use me, and hurt me but I’m so happy to give myself up to The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. I never have to worry about God doing any of those things to me that people have done time and time again. It’s all trials and tribulations. It’s expected to go through hardship in life in one way or another. I am definitely not an exception to that biblical rule. I have no regrets, no held grudges, and no hatred towards anyone or anything. Everything I have been through (“The Sufie Saga”) led me to this moment. My mother told me I made her depressed and that she should’ve aborted me, but I forgive her. The only man I have ever loved (so far…) broke my heart in ways I never thought was humanly possible, but I forgive him too. I’m so emotionally resilient. I have been abused physically, mentally, sexually, emotionally, and even spiritually (by a psychic Narcissist). However, I still manage to get out of bed in the morning, smile, laugh (sometimes manically), and uphold my daily responsibilities. Three weeks from now, I’m starting acolyte training to someday become a priest. I’m also in college to be a therapist for people with mental health problems. And I garner spiritual abilities of my own. Just yesterday, I was contemplating killing myself, but it’s amazing how God can save me just when I feel like giving up. I am going to help and heal a lot of people! I’m gonna make this world a better place than when I found it! On the other hand, I will still don the name, The One-Eyed Angel because this darkness infested with depression and rage will always be a part of me. It has helped me survive through the worst of times and helped me appreciate with ultimate gratitude the best of times. All emotions are temporary, both good and bad. I know I’m not gonna feel this happiness consistently for the rest of my life, but I accept that simply because I must accept that. Although I don’t have any close friends or family members who went to my baptism today, I have acknowledged already that my life is a lonely one so no surprises that no one outside my church family came today. I’m okay though. There must be some valid reason God didn’t place too many people in my life. Some can handle society while some can’t. To each his own. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.


Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: Thanks for reading 🙂

Kick-in-the-crotch-spit-in-your-face fantastic!

Alas! I am Emperor Empath!

Begone, all negativity!

Cry no more for I’m rising from the ashes!

Dread and insanity fuels my reign!

Evil-doers and church-goers alike, rejoice!

Finally, my time has come for self-discovery!

Grotesque misuse of imagination is worry!

Hosanna in the highest! All seven chakras are centered!

Iceberg’s tip is all you’ll ever fathom!

Juxtaposition of boy meets world and our daily bread!

Kill the violence for murder and war has yet to die!

Laughing out loud to a world divided by categories!

Malicious thoughts of a dirty mind are cleansed by grounding!

Naughty humans repent whenever they want to!

Opalescence of a congressional anomaly!

Penance is free it’s virtue important!

Queens of drag express their femininity!

Repress your memories until they suffocate under the pressure!

Sufian, the infamous possession of a drunk personality asunder!

Train your mind and control your emotions!

Under the influence of a natural high and an inevitable low!

Veins depleted of evil’s black sludge and replaced with liquid gold!

Win this game of life! Never admit defeat!

Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters is where I graduated from!

You are in perfect health! You are still a good person, I tell myself!

Zealots will forever be un-shielded! Oblivious to the white light of God’s love and divine protection forevermore!

Life: Break down. Get up. Repeat.

Good morning to my sleepy fallen angels! I love Sundays. It’s good to set aside one day a week to train myself spiritually by going to church. Lord knows I needed church this week. I had a hard time all week long. But I am okay now. I was taking a shower before I went to church earlier today and I was suddenly very aware of the shampoo and conditioner. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Like life. Break down. Get up. Repeat. Our daily lives are busy. Whether it’s school or work or anything else, we are doing the best we can to establish our place in the world. Rest. Repent. Love. Beautiful words I include in my daily prayers. My ex’s altrustic ways must have rubbed off on me somewhere along our past relationship. I wasn’t always happy or hopeful. I was once deep in rock bottom. So many things contributed to my rebirth. I am always grateful because I never lose in life. I either win or I learn, never neither, sometimes both. Break down. Get up. Repeat. Resilience is how long it takes for you to get up after you break down. Anyway, I saw this post on Facebook recently that asked if your ex and your phone were hanging off a ledge, which one would you save. Comments below were so vile. “My phone, duh!” Or “I can live without my ex but not without my phone.” How evil is that? Your ex is another human being regardless. You can always buy another phone. We are all human beings. We all have our internal struggles. I have mentioned this before but I can’t stress that enough. If someone betrays you, pray for them. If someone is rude to you, pray for them. Don’t hate one another. We all break down, get up, and do it all over again. Forgiveness is so damn beautiful! I care about everyone at all times. I’m not saying this just because I’m in a good mood right now. Life is short. And for someone to hold grudges and remain close-minded their whole life is a tragedy. That description reminds me of my mother. My childhood was violent and miserable. Just to live past 18 was a true accomplishment and bountiful blessing on my behalf. Then again, some mothers throw their babies in dumpsters or get abortions so my fate could have been much worse. I forgive my mother. But I can’t find her. She disowned me and then moved away without telling me where. So I forgive her to let go of the scared child inside and move forward towards the oriented. So live up to your responsibilities and allow yourself to break down sometimes. The sooner you do, the sooner you can get up once more. It’s okay to not feel okay sometimes. Allow God in your heart, your life, and He will show you the way to salvation. I realize that is the ONLY way. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Lotus, an album’s review

Hello my fallen angels! This time I will be talking about Christina Aguilera’s latest album: Lotus. When it first came out, I didn’t think much about it. I thought Bionic was her best album. But at that point in my life, I wasn’t ready for Lotus. You see, Bionic explored a more sexier, dominatrix side to Christina. I related more to that as a teenager. I was still getting used to being out of the closet and I needed to feel sexy because I used to have low self-esteem. Now at this point in my life, I have conquered so much and gained a lot of personal growth. Lotus was a step up from Bionic. Lotus reflects on Christina’s own personal growth. And that was why I used to disregard Lotus. I simply didn’t relate to it before because I wasn’t hopeful and I didn’t believe in God. But now I do. Now I can interpret the feeling of rising from the ashes and shedding my skin to leave the past behind. No longer a frightened little boy. Now I embrace the man I have become. Bionic symbolized exploring oneself and trying new things. Lotus represents becoming a full-fledged man or woman and learning to love yourself enough to let go of the past. I’m ready to delve into Lotus’ core theme of rebirth. It is a beautiful thing to seek penance and to let things go. Christina Aguilera’s transition from Bionic to Lotus is a monumental example of personal growth. Resilience will better help you to appreciate the state of mind pertaining to Lotus. If you’re not ready to be reborn, then continue to find yourself and learn to realize that there is no need to be so quick to anger. Music is powerful. Music is life. Have a wonderful day, my fallen angels! Over and out.

Penance through a dream

Several weeks ago, I had a dream about my ex. Don’t worry, I am not leading you through a detailed naughty, sexual anecdote. But rather that of a virtuous, vivid dream that helped me repent with a former flame. It started with a petty argument that resembled one of our many real-life feuds. Then he stops and he looks at me with those serious yet sympathetic eyes of his and says, “I miss taking care of you, I miss buying you things.” Fighting back tears, I reply, “I am not a child anymore. I am grown now. Treat me as an equal.” He closes in on me and says, “That’s ridiculous.” In the dream, mind you, I am going through the depression that accompanies a broken heart. Friends are slowly disappearing, bummed out by my helpless agony. I begin to heal at a very lucrative pace. The next scene shows me finally starting to get my life back on track. I have a job and I am interacting with a customer when my ex comes in post haste with a gun and starts shooting up the place. A co-worker ushers me towards a safe haven behind a dense collection of aisles. He eventually runs into me, as if he didn’t know that I would be there that day. It was that split second of hesitation that allows the cops a chance to bring him down. He looks at me as he lays dying with those sympathetic eyes of his and utters his last words, “will I become an angel?” I crawl beside his potential cadaver and hold his trembling hands. I nod in response to his interrogative. The only response I ever had that was true. I woke up in tears before my sister-in-law comes down the staircase to give me a heartwarming hug. I forgive him. That was the melancholy part of this story for I never thought I could forgive an ex without expecting anything in return. Have a wonderful day, my fallen angels. Penance is freedom. Over and out.