PSYCHOSIS

Good afternoon to my psychotic fallen angels! It took only so much turmoil to finally surrender my sanity. As a child, I cared a lot about how my classmates and how my family members perceived me. None of them are in my life now. I’m starting to form a theory that depression, loneliness, selfishness, paranoia, and fear are default emotions while any positivity only comes around when you really, really try to find it. Or perhaps this theory is biased because it stems from purely my own life experience. Who the hell knows? I like to consider myself a philosopher (an existentialist and an extreme neutralist). In other words, I believe that “human nature” is a myth and that I can do anything I want as long as I don’t break the law. I fall into many other categories that tie into the fabled “human nature” but one category that seems to be one of the new minority focusses in America is stigma pertaining to mental health. I lost track of how many mental health problems I have. The system was the only family I was fond of as an adolescent. Psych wards, state hospitals, residentials, group homes, you name it, I’ve been there. At least I never have to worry about getting drafted for the military. Psychosis is one of the diagnosis I garner. It is a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality. Oh wells! I know people say I shouldn’t let my mental health problems define who I am, but I don’t mind. I enjoy it. I’m not joking nor being sarcastic. I really love my mental health problems. I would just be another boring person in this world’s contradictory existence. They give me character and depth and uniqueness to the essence of who I am. Embrace your fears. Become your fears. I used to be so ashamed of myself. Look at me now. And did you know Batman was actually afraid of bats? He embraced the bat. He became the bat. Think about that next time you host a pity party that no one will RSVP to. There’s only one you. Learn to enjoy your own company. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

GAIA

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Viscous fluid flow of umbral arms stretch desperately,
Confined to the roots of mustard trees sown asunder long ago,
Reaping its reward of dissociation, from man’s destruction,
Branded for eternity while blades of grass dance convivially,
Content while arching their necks to see the bright side of the darkness,
Shade rebukes the fate of the underbrush withering away,
Rays of sunlight ebb down between the reincarnated leaves,
Resilient viridescence,
Embrace their fears,
For my Mother Earth instructs her offspring of perseverance

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Green Heart

“Don’t pity your peers,
You still have a lot to learn too,
Differed generations clash not blend,
Subtlety enamored in the crowd,
Usual escape for you haven’t shielded today,
Try walking somewhere other than main street,
Abandon the path most traveled by,
Explore the outskirts beyond your comfort zone,
Cast fear aside along with its proud mate,
Sustain compassion and love without its arrogant facade,
We’re all human subconsciously confiscating ourselves,
To please ambivalent people who seem to never stick around,
Shameless unconditional respect for your brethren,
High school never ends unless you initiate its demise,
Monogamy and polygamy are matters of opinion you suppose,
Wonder how your actions may harm someone in the crossfire,
Lived in the same place your whole life yet never trekked beyond the course of routine,
Turn off the music meandering through the bundled up wires,
Plugged into your ears to listen to the birds calling out for attention,
Say hello to the child you tend to misread,
Allow external forces to peek past your stubborn paranoia,
Seek refuge in the ones who stuck around through the precipitation,
Unlock your crown and the organ nested below,
The more you learn the more you realize how naive you really are,
Just another subject to trials and tribulations no exception,
You may want to absorb his pain just so he feels better,
But you are your own top priority, The weight of the world is not your burden to bare,”

My heart whispers to me during these chronic sleepless night,
But these lessons of life didn’t just materialize out of thin air,
They were written at its core beneath the depths of denial,
Etched onto make-believe stone unveiled,
Once the Sun bleeds onto the surface of the lake in bright hues,
Morphing into darker shades til the horizon exerts the cold hard truth

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Change of pace

To my future soul mate:

I don’t know when or how we will meet. But I know as of right now, I’m not ready to meet you yet. I’m saving up for a car and I’m so close to getting my license. I’m currently in college studying Psychology to become a therapist but I don’t even have my Associate’s degree yet. I have a job as a Suicide Hotline Operator but I would prefer a career one day. I go to church every Sunday but I haven’t been baptized yet. I live in a studio apartment but someday I wanna own a house with you. I’m still not 100% over my ex-fiance and I would never want you to be a mere rebound. You are too important to be someone’s replacement. I work out three to four times a week but I still don’t have my ideal body yet. I wanna be the best version of myself by the time God places you in my path. And I hope you will be the best version of yourself too. You will be so handsome in my eyes even if other people don’t see you the same way. Even your imperfections will have the ability to resurrect my desire. I have forgotten how it feels to truly love. Please help me remember and never let me forget it.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂