I’m Going On

I’m going on

When a laureate could explain why

And no reverend could absolve

I’m going on

When there is no red X,

no good counsel

And no highway to heaven

I’m going on

When existing is a burden

And no mother will take us in

I’m going on

When love is a satire,

a wasted expense

And you become past tense

I’m going on

___________I’m going on

______________________I’m going on

To my beloved

If you were the greatest thing that happened to me,

Would I know it?

If your love was like a flower,

I would plant it,

I would grow it.

You gave me all your body.

I know I’m strong enough to hold it.

If I show you all my demons

and we dive off the plateau,

would we fall and drown like every time before?

I can tell you all my secrets.

I would wrap my arms around your weakness.

If I relinquish my emotion,

would you even want to take it?

If you gave me all your trust now,

would I stumble and break it?

If I get scared and run away,

would you reel me back in?

If the only other option is letting go,

I’ll stay vulnerable.

If we sever the ties from our pasts,

Will there be room for the present?

You are stronger than your aggressor.

Your light pierces through the darkness you own.

You are beautiful inside and out

I admire how you don’t give up on people

for I have done it every time.

No matter what flaws they unleash,

you never forget their good side.

you are remorse

you are healing

you are resilience

you are strong

you are kind

you are wise

you are doing the best you can!

If you give me every piece of yourself,

you know that I can drop it.

Relentless generosity

Give me a chance

You know I can take advantage once I got it

If you gave me the opportunity,

would I blow it?

If the only other option is letting go,

I’ll stay vulnerable

Shrouded Guilt

If you have ghosts

you have everything

You can say anything you want

You can do anything you always wanted to

but most never do that

You can call it a surprise

a change to your demise

Claim it’s not a part of you

Only in the night you are real

Ghosts shimmer down your wandering mind

An ethereal wind forever blows

down these barren lands of ice

feeding on your shrouded guilt

like a parasite falling for its host

For the truth of the matter is

I will never let you go

One single night

She sings sad songs

every single night

I can hear her through the walls

every single night

if walls could talk

every single night

they wouldn’t talk at all

every single night

they’d merely listen

every single night

she bears her soul

every single night

each note yearns to come out

every single night

She sings sad songs

Every single night

Until she doesn’t

One single night

Box of tissues

There’s nothing better than the touch of a man,
to be face down and in need of a tissue.
some want nothing more than to get laid,
while others would just rather be alone,
but doesn’t everyone need someone to hold?
Or perhaps the right hand gives enough love?

Do you remember what it’s like to fall in love?
Whether it was with a woman-man or a man-man?
They were not responsible enough with your heart to hold,
but instead you retreated to the box of tissue.
Watching stars undress in the dark alone,
nearly envious as someone else gets laid,

Walls crumbled down wherever they laid.
the risk it took to fall in love,
forcing yourself to believe it’s best to be alone,
instead of ever again trusting a man.
still wiping tears off with a tissue,
the only thing in your hand left to hold

Is it really worth persevering and grabbing hold
on the edge of your seat where saltwater laid?
not every drop was rescued by a tissue,
assuming that was your last chance at love,
your ex doesn’t resemble every man.
to generalize is to be condemned alone

Or maybe it’s not so bad to be alone!
weather is getting colder with only a blanket to hold.
perhaps braving through the complications of a man
beats pulling stiff pages depicting others getting laid.
is it harder to build and make love,
rather than merely reaching for tissue?

At some point you’re going to run out of tissue,
and you’ll have to buy more if you remain alone.
patience you have little and money cannot buy you love,
bring your wallet to the store for its very light to hold,
poured out your nickels and dimes on the counter they laid,
convincing yourself it’s safer without some man

You’ll be unscathed falling in love with a tissue,
with any man you may still feel alone,
except the one who’ll still hold you even after you get laid

A couple of rants from a madman

I refuse to close myself off from the world. I won’t allow myself to overgeneralize or to assume every person will hurt me simply because a few actually did. Otherwise, I would be no different than those who actually deserve to be condemned in that fucking box I place the whole world in! I’m not going to let my insecurities or my hurt feelings sever my ties to humanity. Or else this unrelenting misery will be all I’ll ever know.

I don’t think society is getting worse. I think these things has always been happening. Perhaps society is becoming more self-aware. Things that used to happen behind closed doors, things that we were once ashamed to admit to anyone – are coming to light. Instead of judging the truth for what it is, we should learn from these horrific events because how else will humanity evolve?

House of Paper

Cried blood
Bled tears
Your kind words are killing me
Written on fragile walls
My secret fears
Hope they brave the harsh winds

Ink drips off your quill
A lighter trembles in my hand
Your signature shows promise
Can’t won’t escape

Surrounded by something new
Something vulnerable
Something true
What to do when I’m so used to
Burning a stone wall
And going nowhere at all?

Cosmic Ambiguity

My love is a planet,
Revolving around your heart,
My fear is a star,
Present from the start,
My trust is the atmosphere,
For without it I’m cold,
My kiss is a meteor,
So intense and so bold,
My pain is a black hole,
Where light goes to die,
My sex is the gravity,
It’s what keeps us alive,
My mind is the moon,
Witnessing the shadows move,
My hope is the Sun,
For I have nothing to prove