An EPIC tale of a new love

The king went insane from his grief,
His past was full of turmoil and fear,
No one has yet found the key to his heart,
Something happened to him that I’ve yet to comprehend,
He laid in his bedchambers in utter seclusion,
His touch grew cold his posture quite wary,
The maids and manservants catered to his every need,
I like to think his problems stemmed from a time prior to I,
Personally I try not to take his cruel proclamations,
But his pain had began to spread from his veins into mine,
Like a double-edged IV his misery became mine,
From his post I witness his wreathing agony,
As The Queen I felt it was my duty to enact an ordinance of peace,
So I convinced all the townspeople to help prepare a party,
To enlighten his spirits and repair the other half of his life,
His breath his movement his consummation implied nothing,
A feast had been prepared by the kingdom’s most prestigious cooks,
Down the hall I heard my lover scream for relief,
I jolted down the corridors to find his alcove was bolted shut,
I clawed and banged the wooden entryway til my hands bloody raw,
But what I wanted soon become the opalescence of my terror,
The doors gradually opened before a flash of rubicund ascended,
His eyes flashed the color of blood as a growl echoed everywhere,
It seems the darkness that shrouded his past became him,
Usually mistaken for power to me was really total weakness,
The King was not strong enough to resist the compulsion of Satan,
Tears fell as eyeliner and mascara was ruined in the process,

I ran with all my might no longer caring about the party I planned,
Rummaging through the closets I packed my necessities,
The back door and over the moat to my horse I thought I’d be,
But a handsome man stepped in my path leading to the unknown,
He said he could relate to my garnishing love of The King,
He was the king of a faraway land who received my invitation,
But how can he understand my dilemma if he never been in love,
The demon that stole my husband from me must be on his way down,
This beautiful man speaking to me had no idea what was going on,
But his beacon of hope and desire to love for the first time soothed,
Ignorant he was not naive he was not yet his longing was real,
I admired his angellic intentions I swear I almost forgot The King,
But Satan was hovering down each step down the staircase,
I knew now that the townspeople were doomed to die,
But the new king and I still had a chance to flee and survive,
Quickly I warned him of the imminent danger,
He said it was okay to leave the others behind,
My reign as queen of peace needed to cease its discord,
No longer did I feel it was my responsibility to cure the world,
Some people will never listen and must suffer in silence,
If they learn the hard way or decease trying,
Those choices were theirs’ to bear and not meant to be my burden,
So we fled the scene and rode the horse to another uncertainty,
An unpredicted solution that didn’t involve my self-inflicted demise,
The amount of love I posessed was never enough for The King,
Due to the fortress of disdain he had crafted to repel me,
Blood ran deep with us but Satan will forever feed on his anguish,

This new love I garner for the suitor I kept at bay for two years,
Became the very person that renewed all my faith in love,
His playfulness his masculine beauty his hope filled me up,
With joy and desire that I thought withered away long ago,
Green eyes told me it was time to go and leave the past behind,
That it was okay that I failed to save my former love,
It wasn’t my responsibility to begin with and now I’m free to explore,
Because the kindgom and its king was all I knew about life,
So I guess I’m not wise as much as I let on,
But now things have changed for the better,
I was so used to letting The King dominate our union,
This new love of mine lets me take control and is open to my efforts,
To bestow peace upon a new land despite the destruction of the last,
My new lover confides in me and acknowledges me for who I am,
I no longer feel obligated to hide my feelings and emotions,
Now I can hand The New King the keys to my heart,
This man is different whenever we disagree even his anger is bliss,
I realize I must love him no matter how much we argue,
I know now that this new love is an alabaster pristine ruler,
And I must never hurt him no matter what plot twists ensue,
Not all men are like my first love there are kings out there who do have hearts,
Never give up on finding someone whom you rightfully deserve,
Not only Queens are entitled to having feelings and emotions,
I will admit I, myself, am a king as well,
My big heart shouldn’t classify me as a woman but as the man I truly am,
So my new love and I will both be kings amongst a new world of self-discovery,
The townspeople will live in peace and not in fear ever again

Life: Break down. Get up. Repeat.

Good morning to my sleepy fallen angels! I love Sundays. It’s good to set aside one day a week to train myself spiritually by going to church. Lord knows I needed church this week. I had a hard time all week long. But I am okay now. I was taking a shower before I went to church earlier today and I was suddenly very aware of the shampoo and conditioner. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Like life. Break down. Get up. Repeat. Our daily lives are busy. Whether it’s school or work or anything else, we are doing the best we can to establish our place in the world. Rest. Repent. Love. Beautiful words I include in my daily prayers. My ex’s altrustic ways must have rubbed off on me somewhere along our past relationship. I wasn’t always happy or hopeful. I was once deep in rock bottom. So many things contributed to my rebirth. I am always grateful because I never lose in life. I either win or I learn, never neither, sometimes both. Break down. Get up. Repeat. Resilience is how long it takes for you to get up after you break down. Anyway, I saw this post on Facebook recently that asked if your ex and your phone were hanging off a ledge, which one would you save. Comments below were so vile. “My phone, duh!” Or “I can live without my ex but not without my phone.” How evil is that? Your ex is another human being regardless. You can always buy another phone. We are all human beings. We all have our internal struggles. I have mentioned this before but I can’t stress that enough. If someone betrays you, pray for them. If someone is rude to you, pray for them. Don’t hate one another. We all break down, get up, and do it all over again. Forgiveness is so damn beautiful! I care about everyone at all times. I’m not saying this just because I’m in a good mood right now. Life is short. And for someone to hold grudges and remain close-minded their whole life is a tragedy. That description reminds me of my mother. My childhood was violent and miserable. Just to live past 18 was a true accomplishment and bountiful blessing on my behalf. Then again, some mothers throw their babies in dumpsters or get abortions so my fate could have been much worse. I forgive my mother. But I can’t find her. She disowned me and then moved away without telling me where. So I forgive her to let go of the scared child inside and move forward towards the oriented. So live up to your responsibilities and allow yourself to break down sometimes. The sooner you do, the sooner you can get up once more. It’s okay to not feel okay sometimes. Allow God in your heart, your life, and He will show you the way to salvation. I realize that is the ONLY way. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Happy Birthday to me!

Hello my fallen angels! Today marks 21 years since the world was blessed with my birth. I feel spectacular! Single and proud. It sucks that it falls on a Wednesday this year but that is not going to stop me from celebrating! 😉 have a wonderful day, my beautiful fallen angels! Over and out.
(I am blessed. I may not be prestigious quite yet but I strive for the fame and the recognition I deserve. <3)

Lotus, an album’s review

Hello my fallen angels! This time I will be talking about Christina Aguilera’s latest album: Lotus. When it first came out, I didn’t think much about it. I thought Bionic was her best album. But at that point in my life, I wasn’t ready for Lotus. You see, Bionic explored a more sexier, dominatrix side to Christina. I related more to that as a teenager. I was still getting used to being out of the closet and I needed to feel sexy because I used to have low self-esteem. Now at this point in my life, I have conquered so much and gained a lot of personal growth. Lotus was a step up from Bionic. Lotus reflects on Christina’s own personal growth. And that was why I used to disregard Lotus. I simply didn’t relate to it before because I wasn’t hopeful and I didn’t believe in God. But now I do. Now I can interpret the feeling of rising from the ashes and shedding my skin to leave the past behind. No longer a frightened little boy. Now I embrace the man I have become. Bionic symbolized exploring oneself and trying new things. Lotus represents becoming a full-fledged man or woman and learning to love yourself enough to let go of the past. I’m ready to delve into Lotus’ core theme of rebirth. It is a beautiful thing to seek penance and to let things go. Christina Aguilera’s transition from Bionic to Lotus is a monumental example of personal growth. Resilience will better help you to appreciate the state of mind pertaining to Lotus. If you’re not ready to be reborn, then continue to find yourself and learn to realize that there is no need to be so quick to anger. Music is powerful. Music is life. Have a wonderful day, my fallen angels! Over and out.