A couple of rants from a madman

I refuse to close myself off from the world. I won’t allow myself to overgeneralize or to assume every person will hurt me simply because a few actually did. Otherwise, I would be no different than those who actually deserve to be condemned in that fucking box I place the whole world in! I’m not going to let my insecurities or my hurt feelings sever my ties to humanity. Or else this unrelenting misery will be all I’ll ever know.

I don’t think society is getting worse. I think these things has always been happening. Perhaps society is becoming more self-aware. Things that used to happen behind closed doors, things that we were once ashamed to admit to anyone – are coming to light. Instead of judging the truth for what it is, we should learn from these horrific events because how else will humanity evolve?

A Cure For Heartbreak

Hello to my cultural fallen angels! From this day on, I am polyamorous! At a sociological standpoint, monogamy is merely a custom in American culture. In a lot of places around the world, polygamy is quite common. Men having multiple wives… And it’s not unheard of for a woman to have multiple husbands too. I have so much love to give and I’m tired of being confined to how our society wants me to endure heartbreak after heartbreak by placing high expectations on monogamous relationships. To expect someone to remain faithful and drawn to one person for a lifetime is ridiculous. I have feelings for multiple people. I can love and care for them equally. If it’s okay with all parties, mutual… consensual… then what harm can come from more love? No high expectations or unrealistic vows should keep people from loving each other. Why can’t I love a man and his husband too? I can love them the same. Why not? Maybe they’ll both love me too. Maybe not, but why feel rejected? Emotions are chemical. Love is a chemical. I used to be against polygamy but then I learned about it through studying sociology and developing feelings for a man currently in a polyamorous marriage who explained to me how society shaped our mentality since birth to believe that everyone should be monogamous. Like I have stated in To Each His Own, black people were once considered 3/5 of a person and gay people were gay bashed left and right. Now there’s Black Lives Matter and gay marriage is legalized now. What stops anything from being countercultural to being the norm? This is a new age! A technological, opportunistic, and open-minded age! At this beautiful end, I wish you all a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like and comment on this post and I will do the same for you. Also, please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B012BSPFCQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1452971409&sr=1-1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles

Let’s be negative!

Hello to my negative fallen angels! I’m gonna talk some real shit today because I genuinely don’t give a fuck and I need to vent. I can’t see my therapist this week because of stupid ass Thanksgiving. This is the time of the month my food stamps are gone and people make plans with me and then ditch me at the last minute. So when people ask me what I’m doing for Thanksgiving, I say starving and contemplating suicide. Lol. I hate the holiday season! More like Suicide Season! I’m the fucking love child of Mr. Scrooge and the Grinch. There’s always those dumbass Christmas specials on TV and annoying children getting spoiled and becoming worse and worse every year. I can’t do yoga or meditation as well as my empathic rituals barefooted at my local park because now it’s too cold outside. My ex-fiance’s birthday is in December too. And my crush keeps hanging me on a hook. I hate this shit! Ungrateful people smiling and laughing in each other’s company as if they give a fuck about each other. I have no faith nor expectations in other people anymore so when someone fails to comply, I am not disappointed. Loneliness is the realest thing there is and I must be content with the darkness that is mankind. My boss is fake too! Warmline ain’t shit! No one’s calling and she’s a condescending bitch! It’s a fake job led by a fake person. I bet she was one of those blonde cheerleaders who gossip and pour pig’s blood on dark beauty queens. The kind of girl in high school whose boyfriend I fucked last night. I’m trying to get a real job but I guess no one is really hiring. Lol. My brother is getting back with his bitch ass fiance so I’m not talking to him anytime soon. I hope the world ends soon though. It sucked when mankind continued to live past 2012. I mention 2012 a lot but seriously, I was SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED THAT THE END OF THE WORLD NEVER HAPPENED! Humans don’t deserve to live. Whatever. I gotta wait it out, I guess. I have been working out three times a week but I’m still curvy as fuck. I really enjoyed doing drag last Wednesday though. I have pictures and wrote a draft for my post about my alter-drag ego, Seductress. However, the video for ComiQueens is still in the works of being edited. So once I gather pics and vids, I will post it immediately. And my church family is pretty cool. So maybe there are a few reasons to continue tolerating living amongst human beings as an alien attempting but failing to take over the world time and time again. No one in my life bothers reading my blog, but even if they did… oh wells! The infamous One-Eyed Angel resumes his existence in pursuit of a fabled salvation. Wish me luck and I will wish you luck too – as if that matters at all. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

The Lazarus Pit

Rusted metal head my splintered morning wood garner,
I unearth my backyard without a peep from the childhood pets now owned by a farmer.
Nevertheless a howling wind opposes my venture,
For I discovered the Lazarus Pit when I set aside my childish ways.
This is what it’s like to set aside my childish ways.
Toys that once distracted me I now bury deeper into life.

An angel fell dead at my feet in the middle of the night.
The blinds casted forth black and white stripes on its ethereal form ‘fore moonlight.
I waited ’til the Sun reclaimed his throne and ’til a cat got my tongue, As if nothing in this world was any better in the midst of it all.
Ceasing such beauty must be better in the midst of it all.
Liquid gold I let exalt me I now bury deeper into life.

His name served no purpose now that his soul contract has expired.
I recall he hugged my knees to beg for me to play with him but I was so tired.
This shovel must be held with gardening gloves modeled after the desperate damsel ‘fore me;
Unkindly strown on calloused hands to get the job done right.
Bragging ’bout a dismembered servant to get the job done right.
Untold mystery I tend to share I now bury deeper into life.

Sacrifice is all it took to rid myself of such ridicule.
Bugs from animal carcasses attached themselves onto the toys and their cadaver who was mistaken for a fool,
‘Tis I, longing a mate to aid me in digging a grave that’ll someday be robbed.
Black sludge isn’t praised for it’s easier to digest.
Desire relapse every night thus far for it’s easier to digest.
Dreams I yearn to dream I now bury deeper into life.

Just as I predicted with dark magic I try to prove is real,
My toys and my precedence rose from Gaia in a way that made me glad of the other end of the deal.
It went too far, however, or perhaps not far enough.
Soulless solace didn’t repel the bugs that were found scavenging my past,
As if I have control of who was found scavenging my past.
There is no fear that let me die as I now bury deeper into life.

I asked my mother where do babies come from.
She told me a stork drops them off but she killed it because it was so dumb.
I never agreed with her ’til now.
Bringing children into this world should be a crime.
Madness and despair that makes up this world should be a crime.
Toys and angels are forfeited by a regretful child as I now bury deeper into life.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

#FML #KMN

Hello to my bitter fallen angels! I’m sick of being fucking positive all the time! I’m an introverted loner inches away from oblivion. I don’t care about how anyone is doing. And I hate every single fucking holiday except Halloween. Fortunately Halloween is coming up soon. I just wanna scare the shit out of everyone I come across. Let the real me come out one day of the year. Ugly ass strangers on the streets staring at me. “What the fuck do you want from me?” Sexy guys who think they’re too good for me. “Fine! I hope you find someone who will abuse you, you fucking bastard!” Some people say they love me. Yeah fucking right! When I’m trying to be positive and joking around, it’s easy to be around me, huh fucker? But when shit hits the fan, everyone in my boring ass life ceases to exist. “This dude is crazy as hell…” I can hear your thoughts slowly dying as you selfishly walk away. Paying bills, going to school, working, and sleeping practically makes up people’s days so how does anyone have time for anyone else? Fuck my life. Kill me now. This is why I have had writer’s block for days now. Because I was attempting to think of more positive bullshit to write about until I realized my tolerance for other people’s existence is wasted away by now. We live in a world where your own mother can be your archnemesis, where a man says he loves you one day and ghost out the next, where discrimination and abuse are the norm. This world sucks! Life is meaningless! People with mental health problems will never be accepted into society and will forever be on the receiving end of ridicule. Blasphemy! Freedom my ass! The cashier at my local grocery store is such a bitch! The man at my local post office is an asshole! Yet they have jobs and I don’t! Suicide Hotline ain’t shit. My boss says I’m not even good enough to be an operator cus I need further training! Fuck you, slut! Am I not adequate enough for you?! “Don’t sugarcoat it. Tell me how you really feel?” Lol! I’m not suicidal or anything. I’m just one of the few select people on the world who have come to terms with the harsh truth that loneliness is the realest thing there is. I think I’m just gonna be Mr. Scrooge for the hopeless remainder of my life. I don’t give a fuck! I’m content with Loneliness. The only guy I sleep with at night. I haven’t had sex in three weeks now. I found out the man I started to have feelings for was already married. But it’s an open marriage so it’s okay… What the fuck do you want from me then? To be your mistress?! Fuck outta here! At this time, that would be better than nothing. Let’s call the adulterer, shall we? I had a job interview with some fat asshole asking me why I wanna work there. “To pop bottles on the weekends and buy shit. What the fuck you mean ‘why?'” He said he’ll call me but I doubt he will. He told me himself he hates people in general. More than I do, if that’s even humanly possible. I was disappointed when the world didn’t end in 2012. Seconds until the ball dropped and I was giddy with excitement for I thought I was finally going to meet Death. Unfortunately the world still goes ’round. My New Year’s resolution every year since was to lose weight. I have been working out a lot but of to no avail. I can keep going on and on. This world gives me infinite reasons to hate it. If you made it through my psychotic rantings, then congratulations! Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Vintage Misery

Theft of a spiritual land is a heinous crime,
Coerced the Natives farther and farther west,
Until they prostrated straight into the Pacific,
Rebellious youth breaks away from its parent kingdom,
Wanted a better life and to enact more fair traditions,
Apples don’t fall too far from the tree however,
Male spectres ruled The New World for quite some time,
Added on to their thievery while kidnapping shadows in Africa,
Forced into manual labor due to repercussions of an estranged nation,
History repeats itself for salvation recalls unsubtle truths,
Shadows are people too and so are daughters of Eve,
Nothing is an issue until catastrophy ensues,
Women’s Rights were next took so long to acknowledge their humanity,
One by one minority groups gradually rose to the zenith,
Sodomized marriage became legal just recently now we know what’s next,
Losing our minds psychological dissociation,
Let’s just skip the steps and accept that we’re all human,
Race and gender and religion and sexual orientation,
Every single person is subject to trials and tribulations regardless,
Perhaps I must wait longer for society to catch up to my mental calibre,
Don’t hold your breath for only immortals and history buffs are ahead of the times,
Blood moons are malevolent omens condemned to detriment,
Deleterious and magnanimous anomalies are both temporary,
If we focused on amelioration rather than portraying a jury,
Mankind will still garner hope for equality like it should have during genesis

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Tip of the Iceberg

Good morning to my mysterious fallen angels! How was your labor day weekend? So have you noticed my poetic prowess has been greatly improved since my blog was first established? I read my own “past endeavors” (archives) and even my own writing gives me goosebumps. I noticed one of my older poems, Triskelion, still gets checked out at least once everyday by some of my unknown fallen angels since it was originally posted back in the beginning of this Summer. My personal favorite poems are Kamikaze Burlesque and Loneliness and guilty pleasures. I felt confident enough to explore my sexuality with you all in my poems after experimenting with these two specific posts to see how you would react. A lot of likes but a very few comments on either of them. To be expected. Ha! Some of my newer additions to my collection; The Scarlet Harlot and Unquenched Desire; display my more vulnerable takes on love. You’re probably wondering why this post reminds you of those flashback shows in certain tv series where all they do is show clips of past episodes, huh? Well, I wanted to enforce my explanation of how I view myself. A paranoid yet lonely sociopath who just wants to be left alone. Well that’s not entirely true, to be honest. I just want to be loved. Now is that so bad? Clique… But I feel like no matter how many poems, random reviews, or check-ins I post, it will always be the tip of the iceberg! I have no doubt many other bloggers feel the same way. Like I can never fully pour my heart and soul into the depths of my blog 100%. Maybe I’m just naturally mysterious. Perhaps if I spoke in clear English rather than through prose, I can make you see who I really am. Yeah, cus I’m wrong like that… Perhaps I should get out my house more… Society is more inclined to the likes of Facebook posts rather than blog posts. It seems like people would rather video record me trip or cuss someone out than for me to confuse them with my philosophical mind. Not many people want to read intellectual works of literature anymore. A lot of people I come across in public don’t wanna know how I’m doing or become my friend. I notice the only times humans interact with me are when they need something. Sex. Labor. Laughter. Money. [As stated in leave me alone I’m lonely] One or a combination of those four things. No one ever wants to know how I’m doing even if I ask them first. You can never know someone 100%. The belief that you can is faulty. We are all subject to vested interest. We are all alone in our own minds.

So back to the topic at hand, I take pride that my writing is getting better even though my social life isn’t. Luckily, I can say in all honesty that I love you all, my fallen angels! I had made friends with some of you and I have never been more real than I have been with you. Thank you so much for taking interest in my blog! I’m never gonna stop. I’m gonna keep it coming. So stay tuned for more posts in the future! Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

What stops them from doing that to you?

Good evening, my reliable fallen angels! So let’s get to it! Have you ever had a friend who did horrible things to someone else but you never thought they would do those things to you? You think you’re their only exception? You’re a fool if you said yes to either of those questions. From a fool to a fool, I am letting you know that no one will ever make you their only exception. Don’t get me wrong; I learned this lesson in high school. I mention it today because my brother is learning that life lesson at this point in his life. His fiancee and her family would gossip about everyone. When I say everyone, I mean everyone. When my brother’s sister-in-law’s boyfriend cheated on her, the family talked a lot of shit about him. That got me thinking. “What stops them from doing that to you?” But my brother didn’t listen. They’re broken up now. I bet they’re talking shit about my brother a mile a minute. I told him it’s out of his control. That’s the third spiritual law. Law of acceptance is to accept that nothing is in your control but yourself. He simply stopped loving her. No one cheated. There was no domestic violence. Nothing. His ex-fiancee treated him terribly. That’s what I hate about some women. They think men don’t have feelings. In society, men can’t cry or express any emotions without someone telling them to “be a man!” It breaks my heart when my dad or my brother were treated badly by the women in their lives. And the second the man decides they’ve had enough, the woman forever raises their child to hate their father. And on top of that, they don’t let the father see the child. What the hell is the man supposed to do? I’m glad I’m gay. Some women would be too much for me. I’ve had my fair share of men in my life and I notice we handle conflict differently. If me and some guy go through a break-up, I know for a fact I’m never gonna hear from him again. Men neglect while women gossip. I don’t know which is worse. Sorry if I sound sexist. My experiences with women are usually disastrous. Now that I think about, men are pretty bad too. Which is why I don’t understand why some people hate the LGBT Community. Men and women are both terrible. Pick your fucking poison! Anyway, back to the main topic at hand. If you find that your boyfriend or girlfriend or ever just a friend act ill-mannered towards other people, you can easily become one of those other people. That is a kind of red flag that you have to look out for. I learned this lesson years ago and my brother is learning it now. It’s one of the trials and tribulations every person will go through. I’m just starting to get into The Bible and I realize that every life lesson is displayed clearly in there. Well, not that clearly. Most Bibles are still in Old English. But still, our lives, mankind’s destiny, has literally been written down already. Life is ironic that way. Well I hope this post helped someone out today. Then again, most people have to learn things the hard way. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Words that make your skin crawl

Good morning! Today I will be a motivational speaker at Capital Region Mental Health Center in my state. Just yesterday I was feeling pretty low about myself. But I know even at the worst of times, things always seem to fall nicely into place afterwards. A friend once told me that when something bad happens, it’s never the end of the world but it’s also okay to not feel okay about something. Those words stayed with me even after I scared him off that day when I was venting to him. For the longest, I felt like I was trapped inside my mind, like I created this fantasy world within myself that I can’t escape from. I’m always on survival mode, like I’m forever in The Hunger Games arena. It may be paranoia; maybe because I subconsciously assume everyone wants to hurt me. But sometimes I have to stay home for a while to relieve my anxiety. That’s when I start listening and discovering new music that really speaks to me as if the singer sung the song especially for me. There are many songs that make my skin crawl and resurrect the butterflies that I thought died the moment I put aside my childish ways. One of them is Christina Perri’s I Believe. I posted the lyrics video so that you don’t miss any beautiful word. I love Christina Perri! A lot of people don’t because her music is deemed as depressing. But that’s what I hate about society, they try so hard to encourage happiness when at the same time, they are negating any form of sadness. Sadness, depression, misery, tradegy, loss, they all exist regardless how much we repress those emotions. It’s like frowning is even frowned upon. Songs like this let’s me know that it’s okay to not feel okay today. But the Sun will always rise. Have a wonderful day, my fallen angels! Wish me luck on my inspirational speech! Over and out.

Watch “I believe Christina Perri lyrics” on YouTube