Vulnerable Moments

Hello to my guarded fallen angels! Today was Christmas Day so instead of indulging in my self-pity, like I usually do, I decided to get out the house to hang out with some other young adults in DMHAS. The other clients are fake af. I don’t trust them at all. So the day started off with lunch at Home Town Buffet. I’m friendly with the girls like most gay men are but they were very odd today. It was the usual me-pretending-to-hit-on-them-to-make-the-guys-jealous bit. Dumbing-myself-down-to-associate-with-my-age-group bit. There was this one girl who was pregnant with her Nth child saying she was gonna plot to destroy one of her baby daddies. Yeah… what good is gonna come out of that, am I right? Geez… Then this other girl kept saying things in explicit detail about giving birth while I was eating. I didn’t like that. Also, the guys were observing me for some reason. I felt like the main attraction, “The Lone Homo Exhibit” and shit… I’m the only gay man in the whole program so the other guys usually avoid me or laugh at my dark, humorous jokes. The girls started talking about sex which is a topic I can definitely relate to. I indirectly mentioned that I do one-night-stands with guys I don’t know, which is true. They made these weird faces, even the guys, when I joked about it. So we can talk about nasty straight sex but the second I mention gay sex, it’s weird. And I know for a fact those bitches are hoes too. Today was very weird. Then at one point, I say it’s better off being single and alone but this one guy who knows me a tiny bit better than everyone else, replies that I actually hate being alone. I really didn’t like that for some reason. They kept watching me eat and commenting on every gesture or small movement I did. I usually complain about feeling invisible but maybe invisibility is a blessing and not a curse. I act so arrogant and bitchy around my peers and I was so in that zone that I forgot my “purse” (it’s really just one of those bags with a drawstring) when we left to go to the movie theatre. I was in the middle of watching the latest Star Wars movie when I suddenly realized my “purse” wasn’t on me. I went into the lobby to call one of the staff members to ask if they knew where my “purse” was. They assured me that they found it and put it in their state vehicle for me to get after the movie. The thing is, we all dispersed to watch different movies so our movies ended at different times. The staff I spoke to on the phone before I finished watching The Force Awakens called me back 8 times in a two minute timespan while my phone was on silent. I returned her call but she said she couldn’t wait for me any longer so she left. WTF, right? So the other staff member I’m actually a lot closer to was still in the movie theatre and there were several issues that occurred around the same time. I eventually got my “purse” back but still… Weird days like this makes me very grateful that I have an uneventful, dramaless, lonely life after all. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Update On The Co-Blog Collaboration

Hello to my hyped fallen angels! Last time I spoke of the co-blog collaboration experiment, I introduced the fact that me and Jason will be working together to create an ongoing dialogue about various topics starting from the LGBT Community and then branching off to unpredictable venues. The reason why we’re starting there is because we want to enact a civil, nonjudgmental discussion about it from a gay guy’s point of view (me) as well as a deeper understanding from a straight guy’s point of view (Jason). We were aiming to officially begin the infantile stages of the conversation yesterday or today. However, my friend has been under the weather lately. Even though his health is not 100% right now, he managed to write an update from his perspective. Check it out! Jason is a very determined person who lets nothing get in his way from doing what he wants to do. He’s very excited, hell, we both are! We both have an idea as to how the cross-blog will begin but we have no idea  where the chit-chat will lead. Until he fully recuperates, I will continue to post on my blog as frequently as I always do. He’s more into video game reviews and I’m more into poetry. So check out our first posts on the matter: My first Co-Blog Collaboration Teaser and Jason’s Exciting News! Until the next episode, I wish you all a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Hetero-crush

She shows shimmering shadows shrouding her shining eyes,
Piercing pondering peek I sneak perpetually perceived,
Beautiful brunette brutality reinvents bountiful brilliance,
Literary little lady lavishingly lessen the labels’ lament,
Creative cat creature cream of the crop cultivating captivation,
Truly tethered to tactical text transcribed tentatively,
Wonderful woman willingly wandering around my world,
Absolutely annointed with abstract antiquity aspiring apparatus,
Madam medley merely making me more and more muddled,
For finally finding a female friend fretting away my faggot finesse

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

What if…

Hello to my fallen angels! How is your weekend going? For a couple days now, I began to wonder what if certain things in my life were changed. Like in an alternative universe where I’m straight, my dad stayed in the picture instead of my mom, or if I was born in the 70s. How you ever read those comic books where they ask the same question? Like in Spider-Man: what if Spider-Man married the Black Cat? Or in X-Men: what if Wolverine was a woman? The whole idea of alternate time streams is so fascinating! For instance, if I was straight, my mother would still be in my life because there would be nothing she can’t accept. I would still probably live with her and therefore not have became independent as soon as I did in reality. I wouldn’t have meet my ex but instead would probably have been though the same motions with a girl. I would be a father by now because I enjoy sex. (Who doesn’t?) I would have never been a part of True Colors or even care to understand the fight for LGBT Rights. I would have been quite popular in grade school because there would have been no rumors about me being gay. My mother would be a miserable old hag in any given alternative universe so if she remained in my life, I would be miserable too because misery loves company. Nothing much would change when it came to my dad because he loves me regardless of my sexual orientation. My brother might be afraid that I would steal his wife away from him and therefore I might not have the close bond with him that I do now. Because my mom would accept my heterosexuality, I wouldn’t have been kicked out of her house and would have never met my current friends. God has a way of making something bad happen so that something worse wouldn’t take its place. So try this yourself. Imagine that one crucial part of you is different or nonexistent. See where and how far that timeline would meander off reality’s course of action. Have a wonderful day, my lovely fallen angels! Over and out.