Truth Serum

When I was 6,

I wished I was a newborn,

When all I worried about was eating, sleeping,

And excreting waste,

 

When I was 10,

I wished I was 6,

When all I was afraid of was going to grade school for the first time

And missing my mom until I returned home,

 

When I was 14,

I wished I was 10,

When all I thought about were the terrifying times I spent alone with my stepdad

And missing my mom until she returned home,

 

When I was 18,

I wished I was 14,

When all I reminisced about was how I secretly enjoyed being abused like a masochist

And missing the only sexual escapade I had throughout my school years,

 

When I was 21,

I wished I was 18,

When I was forced to be exiled because my mom thought my dad’s replacement made me gay

And hoping there was more to life than this,

 

When I am 30,

I will wish I was 21,

When all I can recall will be how my ex-fiance severely broke my heart

And how he wonderfully psychologically tormented me,

 

When I am 39,

I will wish I was 30,

When I’ll realize that I am the same age as when my first love left in peace

And left me in pieces,

 

When I am 50,

I will wish I was 39,

When I can remember fondly how agile and resilient I once was

And wondering how I didn’t kill myself a lot sooner

 

When I am 69,

I will not look back anymore,

For dementia will consume my mind’s occupancy leaving behind the fact that my age will be one of my favorite sexual positions

And in total relief that I will die any day now

 

 

 

 

*Make sure to take advantage of the eBook sale going on now! From now* until December 26th at 8:00PM, you can buy The Pandemonium Chronicles for only $0.99! (usually $2.99)

http://www.amazon.com/Pandemonium-Chronicles-Merge-between-Heaven-ebook/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1450883498&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Pandemonium+Chronicles

This sale is to celebrate the release of my new book, Trials and Tribulations!

http://www.amazon.com/Trials-Tribulations-Sufian-ebook/dp/B018ZR0IVA/ref=sr_1_43?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1450883658&sr=1-43&keywords=Trials+and+Tribulations

A Friendly Reminder

Hello to my patient fallen angels! From December 21 at 8:00AM until December 26 at 8:00PM (Eastern Time Zone), you can buy The Pandemonium Chronicles for only 99 cents on Amazon Kindle! It’s usually $2.99 so check it out now! http://www.amazon.com/Pandemonium-Chronicles-Merge-between-Heaven-ebook/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1449171337&sr=8-1&keywords=the+pandemonium+chronicles

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First Book

Also, I published my second book but it’s not a sequel to The Pandemonium Chronicles. Rather, it’s a book of poetry composed entirely of my favorite poems from my official blog! I tried picking the best entries from my archives to be included in my new book, Trials and Tribulations! http://www.amazon.com/Trials-Tribulations-Sufian-ebook/dp/B018ZR0IVA/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1449593150&sr=8-9&keywords=trials+and+tribulations

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The countdown is located at the bottom right-hand corner of my blog. Anyway, the purpose of this friendly reminder is to ensure my fallen angels to be well aware of the existence of my Trials and Tribulations. Delve into my mind and you may very well lose your mind too. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! Thanks for reading 🙂

Book Sale!

http://www.amazon.com/Trials-Tribulations-Sufian-ebook/dp/B018ZR0IVA/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&qid=1449593150&sr=8-9&keywords=trials+and+tribulations

Hello to my poetic fallen angels! I published my second book but it’s not a sequel to The Pandemonium Chronicles. Rather, it’s a book of poetry composed entirely of my favorite poems from my official blog! I tried picking the best entries from my archives to be included in my new book, Trials and Tribulations! Also, as a celebration for TaT, I have decided to have The Pandemonium Chronicles: The Merge Between Heaven and Hell on sale for only 99 cents! (was $2.99) This discount will last from December 21 at 8:00AM to December 26 at 8:00PM (East Atlantic Time). http://www.amazon.com/Pandemonium-Chronicles-Merge-between-Heaven-ebook/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1449690833&sr=8-1&keywords=the+pandemonium+chronicles  The countdown is located at the bottom right-hand corner of my blog. Anyway, the purpose of this particular blog post is to ensure my fallen angels to be well aware of the existence of my Trials and Tribulations. Delve into my mind and you may very well lose your mind too. Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

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First Book

 

History repeats itself (revised)

Good afternoon to my loving fallen angels! I have been going hardcore with the poetry lately, huh? Lol Anyway don’t you find it funny how life is a play and we’re constantly changing roles? When I was a kid, my dad walked out on us. Not uncommon in this day and age. So my mother raised me to hate him. Her and my sisters constantly talked shit about him, never turning the page. Heartbreak on repeat. I grew up hating him until I finally agreed to stay the Summer with my father when I started middle school. I realized my dad was a good person. One of the most pure-hearted people I’ve ever known. He told me he simply stopped loving her. My mom treated him poorly when they were together and her family/ his in-laws never welcomed him into the family. He wanted to visit me and my brother but he had too much anxiety. Too many people in my family were against him. So that was that. Since that Summer, I spent as much time with him as possible. I loved him. More than my mother, I realized later on. I respected him. My ex fiance stopped loving me. Yeah I retaliated and hit him below the belt (metaphorically. I would never ruin his precious cargo. Lmao!) but at the end of the day, there’s nothing I can do to make him want me like when he first met me. Now I find myself breaking a lot of guys’ hearts. To be honest, I have no remorse. I’m not heartless, I’m just human. I have so much love to give but apparently I haven’t met the right guy to give it too. It’s okay. We all change roles in our lives. The third spiritual law states that I have no control over anyone but myself and that I must accept that. And I do. But I still miss my ex everyday. If I never learned to control my emotions, I would probably have went down a very dark path. I am okay. You will too. The roles we all play in life are temporary if you just turn the page. Have a wonderful day, my fallen angels! Over and out. (I had to take a huge chunk of this post out because I thought the original post would help my ex-sister-in-law but I guess not. I tried. It’s not my responsibility.)

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Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading 🙂

Adorning Morning

Awakened by my pet cat,

Or was it the sunlight spilling from the blinds?

I am no longer fat,

Work outs and eating food of the healthy kinds,

I stare into the mirror,

And embrace the man I have become,

My strength is no error,

Despite my flaws for I still have some,

I shower under the warm water,

Singing the latest song I recall,

No longer fearing the role of martyr,

For I don’t care who hears down the hall,

The status quo I’m never beneath,

Drying myself off,

Brushing my teeth,

Wondering what happened to David Hasselhoff,

Feed my feline,

Feed myself,

Silence is divine,

All the food is on the top shelf,

I try on different outfits,

Especially ones that highlight my weight loss,

Even as an adult I’m still one of the misfits,

No one tell me what to do I’m my own boss,

I lock the door behind me,

And set forth towards a new day,

A new adventure laid out by He,

My faith in Him leaves the darkness at bay