The Lazarus Pit

Rusted metal head my splintered morning wood garner,
I unearth my backyard without a peep from the childhood pets now owned by a farmer.
Nevertheless a howling wind opposes my venture,
For I discovered the Lazarus Pit when I set aside my childish ways.
This is what it’s like to set aside my childish ways.
Toys that once distracted me I now bury deeper into life.

An angel fell dead at my feet in the middle of the night.
The blinds casted forth black and white stripes on its ethereal form ‘fore moonlight.
I waited ’til the Sun reclaimed his throne and ’til a cat got my tongue, As if nothing in this world was any better in the midst of it all.
Ceasing such beauty must be better in the midst of it all.
Liquid gold I let exalt me I now bury deeper into life.

His name served no purpose now that his soul contract has expired.
I recall he hugged my knees to beg for me to play with him but I was so tired.
This shovel must be held with gardening gloves modeled after the desperate damsel ‘fore me;
Unkindly strown on calloused hands to get the job done right.
Bragging ’bout a dismembered servant to get the job done right.
Untold mystery I tend to share I now bury deeper into life.

Sacrifice is all it took to rid myself of such ridicule.
Bugs from animal carcasses attached themselves onto the toys and their cadaver who was mistaken for a fool,
‘Tis I, longing a mate to aid me in digging a grave that’ll someday be robbed.
Black sludge isn’t praised for it’s easier to digest.
Desire relapse every night thus far for it’s easier to digest.
Dreams I yearn to dream I now bury deeper into life.

Just as I predicted with dark magic I try to prove is real,
My toys and my precedence rose from Gaia in a way that made me glad of the other end of the deal.
It went too far, however, or perhaps not far enough.
Soulless solace didn’t repel the bugs that were found scavenging my past,
As if I have control of who was found scavenging my past.
There is no fear that let me die as I now bury deeper into life.

I asked my mother where do babies come from.
She told me a stork drops them off but she killed it because it was so dumb.
I never agreed with her ’til now.
Bringing children into this world should be a crime.
Madness and despair that makes up this world should be a crime.
Toys and angels are forfeited by a regretful child as I now bury deeper into life.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading ūüôā

#FML #KMN

Hello to my bitter fallen angels! I’m sick of being fucking positive all the time! I’m an introverted loner inches away from oblivion. I don’t care about how anyone is doing. And I hate every single fucking holiday except Halloween. Fortunately Halloween is coming up soon. I just wanna scare the shit out of everyone I come across. Let the real me come out one day of the year. Ugly ass strangers on the streets staring at me. “What the fuck do you want from me?” Sexy guys who think they’re too good for me. “Fine! I hope you find someone who will abuse you, you fucking bastard!” Some people say they love me. Yeah fucking right! When I’m trying to be positive and joking around, it’s easy to be around me, huh fucker? But when shit hits the fan, everyone in my boring ass life ceases to exist. “This dude is crazy as hell…” I can hear your thoughts slowly dying as you selfishly walk away. Paying bills, going to school, working, and sleeping practically makes up people’s days so how does anyone have time for anyone else? Fuck my life. Kill me now. This is why I have had writer’s block for days now. Because I was attempting to think of more positive bullshit to write about until I realized my tolerance for other people’s existence is wasted away by now. We live in a world where your own mother can be your archnemesis, where a man says he loves you one day and ghost out the next, where discrimination and abuse are the norm. This world sucks! Life is meaningless! People with mental health problems will never be accepted into society and will forever be on the receiving end of ridicule. Blasphemy! Freedom my ass! The cashier at my local grocery store is such a bitch! The man at my local post office is an asshole! Yet they have jobs and I don’t! Suicide Hotline ain’t shit. My boss says I’m not even good enough to be an operator cus I need further training! Fuck you, slut! Am I not adequate enough for you?! “Don’t sugarcoat it. Tell me how you really feel?” Lol! I’m not suicidal or anything. I’m just one of the few select people on the world who have come to terms with the harsh truth that loneliness is the realest thing there is. I think I’m just gonna be Mr. Scrooge for the hopeless remainder of my life. I don’t give a fuck! I’m content with Loneliness. The only guy I sleep with at night. I haven’t had sex in three weeks now. I found out the man I started to have feelings for was already married. But it’s an open marriage so it’s okay… What the fuck do you want from me then? To be your mistress?! Fuck outta here! At this time, that would be better than nothing. Let’s call the adulterer, shall we? I had a job interview with some fat asshole asking me why I wanna work there. “To pop bottles on the weekends and buy shit. What the fuck you mean ‘why?'” He said he’ll call me but I doubt he will. He told me himself he hates people in general. More than I do, if that’s even humanly possible. I was disappointed when the world didn’t end in 2012. Seconds until the ball dropped and I was giddy with excitement for I thought I was finally going to meet Death. Unfortunately the world still goes ’round. My New Year’s resolution every year since was to lose weight. I have been working out a lot but of to no avail. I can keep going on and on. This world gives me infinite reasons to hate it. If you made it through my psychotic rantings, then congratulations! Have a wonderful day! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading ūüôā

103 ways I love the world

This is my 103rd blog post! So this time around, I thought it would help me see the world more positively if I list 103 simple things I love about life. Maybe you can do the same sometime as your own personal blog post. Alright, my fallen angels, here we go:

1. Pizza! (It’s my kryptonite! I can resist any other food but this one!)
2. Taking a shower (it’s an underappreciated luxury!)
3. Drinking lots of water (it is so good for you! Drinking nice, cold water on a summer day is heaven!)
4. Sex (c’mon, we all feel the same way! I knew this was gonna be in this list so I got that out of the way now.)
5. Walking (clears your mind and it’s moderate exercise. Win-win in my book lol.)
6. Smiling at strangers (either they smile back or they look at me funny. It’s great either way!)
7. Listening to music (music is a powerful influence on the soul. Very impressionable…)
8. Air-Conditioning (it’s summer where I’m at and it’s hard not to appreciate my AC right now.)
9. Pets (my cat, Silly, is the only living being I know as of now who loves me unconditionally. Animals are better than humans in that regard.)
10. State benefits (it has been so hard for me to find a summer job so I’m so grateful that I can still pay my bills every month.)
11. Microwave Ovens (it’s so easy to cook things with this valuable household item).
12. Television sets (I should have just said TV, but I said it now so now what? Lol)
13. Parks (playgrounds, grassy fields, and naive children playing blissfully)
14. Skinny jeans (i look bangin’ in tight clothes, at least my legs do. Ha!)
15. Gym Memberships (cheap, effective, and got me looking the best I’ve ever been.)
16. Libraries  (so much knowledge in one building! I wanna just soak up all the wisdom like a sponge!)
17. Music (so many genres to fit into every category of minorities.)
18. Comic books (anyone who relies on only mainstream superhero movies are missing out on so much…)
19. Financial aid  (I am so grateful that i can go to college without paying out of pocket.)
20. Bread and other addicting carbs (so good yet my midsection… well it speaks for itself)
21. Jockstraps¬† (the perfect aphrodisiac… in my opinion at least lol)
22. Getting good grades in school  (nothing is more satisfying than earning an A honestly)
23. Physical therapy¬† (people’s bodies are aching and I am no exception)
24. Psychological therapy  (everyone should have a therapist cus they are the only people you can spill your guts to without worrying about betrayal)
25. Money (do i need to explain?)
26. Weed (gives my empathy a rest and i can’t stop laughing)
27. Sleeping (Heals your body and sets your mind free)
28. Theatre (performing arts awakens something dormant in myself)
29. Spare change jar (any chump change I have goes into the jar until i need it most)
30. Savings account (an upgraded version of a spare change jar)
31. Love (i have so much love to give and no one to give it to… so far)
32. Church (every Sunday i enrich my spirit and let my guard down just a tad)
33. Chivalry¬† (it’s currently in a coma but i have faith that it’ll wake up again)
34. Meditation (clear your mind and ignore all negative glances from ignorant onlookers)
35. Cell phones (no more cords and home phones are rare nowadays… but that’s not news)
36. Constructive criticism  (without it, i would continue being obsolete)
37. Hardship (the only thing in life that makes me stronger than ever before.)
38. Compliments  (not as effective as constructive criticism but feels better in the moment.)
39. 80’s ambience¬† (i think i should have been born in the 70’s to fully experience the 80’s. woulda coulda shoulda…)
40. Latin men (John Leguizamo, etc….)
41. Disney (corrupt as all hell but apparently we still can’t live without it.)
42. Advertisements (they can be so annoying but trust me when I say we are better having them than not having them.)
43. Independence (i can walk around naked in my apartment or stay up as late as i want. I am now in control of my life.)
44. Personal growth¬† (I’m not the same person I was before. I believe today is stronger than yesterday.)
45. The Sun (it may be extremely hot out this Summer but the Sun is vital for our existence.)
46. Remote controls (Americans can place blame on this invention for being fat and lazy too! Ha!)
47. Social media¬† (i don’t fall victim to the illusion that followers=friends but it’s great for advertising)
48. Jerry Springer (glad I can watch like this so I can be grateful that I am single.)
49. Fitness (i never felt more alive. I can do a split, touch my toes, and do a bridge!)
50. Literature (it would have made sense to put this one in the beginning but I’m winging it as I go along so bear with me.)
51. Aliens (they give me hope that the human race is not confined to limited space and time.)
52. Charities (hope in the form of selfless acts and Robin-hood-morals.)
53. Martial arts  (physical discipline only a few can tolerate and escape from victimhood.)
54. Silence  (it screams the truth, the only thing i wanna hear)
55. Coffee hour (a nice, relaxing time with the church family)
56. Sprinklers (dancing in the water to the beat of my own laughter.)
57. Texting (a conversation void of all emotions, just the way i like it)
58. Stretching¬† (works wonders before a work out. Don’t skip it!)
59. Cuddling (it’s so cute! Love and warm skin, enticing preliminaries…)
60. Spa (man, I’m way overdue for one!)
61. Sauna (the nice conclusion to an intense workout)
62. Blogging (a nice way to cope and vent, just don’t mention names or else it’s gossip.)
63. Men (some are so cute that I just wanna tickle ’em lmao!)
64. Free apps (and no thanks to in-app purchases, Google Play Store!)
65. Trees (i hugged a tree today but it was so sad ūüė¶ )
66. Windy days (the Sun needs to play hookey sometimes behind some clouds cus I can’t handle too much hot weather)
67. Early mornings¬† (I prefer if there’s no one around when I meditate outside…)
68. Math (Calculus, Statistics, Trigonometry, I don’t care, I’ll do it all just for fun.)
69. Kama Sutra (just cus it’s number 69 on my list.)
70. Yoga (calms me down from all the racing thoughts I wake up to every morning.)
71. Blog likes and comments  (makes me feel special when my fallen angels appreciate my words.)
72. Being single (I don’t have to worry about other people’s problems or getting my heart broken again.)
73. Scarves (they’re so stylish! Too bad it’s Summer where I’m at right now.)
74. Hats (for the days I don’t feel like doing my hair.)
75. Movie theatres (it’s much cooler to go watch a movie when it first comes out!)
76. Gamestop (that was my Disney World as a child. Pitiful, huh? Lol)
77. Friends  (the TV show not the nonexistent people in my life. Ha!)
78. Glee (the first show that gave me goosebumps and butterflies at the same time.)
79. NYC Pride (everyone in the LGBT Community needs to go at least once in their life.)
80. True Colors Conference  (free hugs and kisses from both sexy and ugly people lol)
81. John Leguizamo  (my childhood crush but you would know that if you keep tabs on my posts.)
82. Chicken (i love chicken! That’s one thing I have in common with most people.)
83. TV antenna (free cable motha fuckas!)
84. Karaoke¬† (sing as if you’re in the shower!)
85. Credit cards¬† (money i don’t have now i may have later on… hopefully)
86. Restaurants  (i hate cooking so i pay someone to do it for me.)
87. Tattoos (they make look so cool! But it’s a very addicting habit.)
88. Karma (what comes around, goes around but you already knew that.)
89. Lazy days (I’m currently unemployed so i have a lot of these lol)
90. Locks (i lock my door, my windows, my mailbox, heck i would lock my keys away if I could!)
91. Nintendo (the world’s most prestigious video game company.)
92. The Simpson’s¬† (the only show that never ends)
93. Driving (it sure as hell beats riding in a city bus full of silly beggars :D)
94. Alcohol (losing my inhibition and forgetting my problems temporarily with a mere swig of whiskey)
95. Book-to-movies (I never bother reading a lot of the new mainstream books cus I know they’ll be movies someday)
96. 90’s TV (the new shows on TV are terrible. I feel sorry for new generations cus of this… and everything else too)
97. Ginger ale  (the only soda I allow myself to drink)
98. The Bible¬† (all of life’s answers are already written yet no one I know outside of church reads it)
99. Prayer (I have faith that God’s listening but I must remind myself things aren’t going to happen when and how I want them to.)
100. God (do I need to explain?)
101. Halloween  (the only holiday I like.)
102. My birthday (the birth of the Arcangel and leader of the fallen angels is definitely worth celebrating.)
103. Decapitation  (my sick “comedy fetish,” the one unusual thing that makes me laugh.)

Think you can write as many things you love about the world as posts you have on your blog? Give it a try and let me know! Have a wonderful day, my fallen angels! Over and out.

Feel free to like or comment on this post. I will always reply back to comments! And please check out my eBook: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B012BSPFCQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_awdm_EgmSvb1FDR2EB Thanks for reading ūüôā