Jane The Virgin S5E1 Monologue

I have binge-watched every episode of Jane the Virgin. I am up-to-date as of right now on season 5 episode 1 that aired yesterday. There was a 7 1/2 minute monologue that Jane did expressing how she’s trying to cope with Michael’s return. It destroyed me. I broke down seeing her like that. That’s how I get when I’m really upset. She exuded symptoms of mania, and Gina Rodriguez should get an Emmy just for this scene alone. It expressed exactly how she felt about Michael returning from the dead. If you’ve seen every episode like I have and then watched this scene, you’ll understand, with context, the importance and the raw emotion emanating from this monologue. I’m going to miss Jane the Virgin. This is the last season. And it’s starting off at a really great note.

(I have no rights to this footage)

Open Your Mind

I close my eyes to feel everything

How long has it been since you exiled me into a land of desolation?
How many times did you repress your memories of me into submission?
How often did you reassure me that I could be myself
As long as I had achieved your quintessential expectations?

I don’t need you to respect me
‘Cus I respect me,
Nor do I need you to love me
‘Cus I love me,
But I want you to know
That you can get to know me,

If you would just open your mind

Breath of Death

Entombed within the roots of the mother

Reaching for a star feeling smothered

She provides all the nutrients you need

But you choose not to breathe

For every breath is paradise

You crave an early demise

Succumb to the entrenched

In her tears you will be drenched

Pools of salted crimes

By men throughout time

Man can’t avoid being pulled into the earth

Only time keeps you from the demiurge

You do nothing but wait for termination

Reaching for a constellation

So desperate to abscond the truth

This miasma will be the death of you too

Greater Than The Sum Of Their Parts

My mother held the Qur’an,

Condemning me to hell,

My father wore saffron,

Nowhere to be found,

Religious zealot,

With such a closed mind,

Criminal derelict,

Lacks the holy and divine,

Rebuke social deviance,

Perhaps conformity is wrong,

Mens rea to actus reus,

Behind bars for so long,

A hijab I do not wear,

Nor do I commit torts,

I am greater,

Than the sum of their parts

A Home Inside You

I thought love was in the drugs,

Never having too much,

Never having enough,

I thought love was in a drink,

Forget what I’ve lost,

Forget how to think,

I thought love was on the stage,

Giving myself to strangers,

Giving into the fear,

Then it tries to find a home inside you,

But I’m so alone,

Staring down at my phone

The Language of Fear

There are so many endless possibilities, so much so that it feels pointless to pursue any path in life at all.

I garner a plethora of talents and yet I blame others for these talents not being recognized outside of my own spectrum of reality.

And I blame others, as well, for my inadequacies and for refusing to escape from my comfort zone by any means necessary.

What is there to do when you’re so used to following the same old script day-in-and-day-out all your life?

The same habits,

the same addictions,

the same mannerisms,

the same routine,

over and over again…

I am to blame for this misfortune but I’m not going to leave out my childhood either.

It seems to me like we all live this cruel existence consisting of emotional suffering in a constant recollection of one’s past.

It’s like we’re in a play where we just live in chronic turmoil while God observes from the sidelines.

Mankind seems to be a mere source of amusement for this higher being that we all perceive differently.

Within the darkness of doubt, I can hear Him whisper softly in the language of fear:

“Fallen victim to your crime

You used to pray for space

Drown in Me one more time

And mend your wicked ways”

Unscripted II (2 of 2)

(Transcribed from 5:59 to end)

For the longest,

I thought I was worthless

That I was nothing but an insignificant means for people to let out their frustrations on

A punching bag

An easy target

Because my kindness and my big heart is mistaken for weakness in this world

And we are socially conditioned to see it as weakness

And emotion

But it’s the fine arts that stretches the boundaries of that

Of everything

And that is who I am

Yes!

I will defy society whichever way I can

And I will be the loneliest man in the world if it meant that I can just be myself

And I lie here at three in the morning

After my guided meditation

After my trip to the spiritual realm

And I lay here in my bed

And I don’t see it as half the bed being filled

I see it as more space for me

More comfort for me

And the Law of Attraction,

I’ve been ignoring,

Like I said

But no more!

Because whatever I want and whatever I desire can be obtainable if I just change my mindset

It all starts there

And to be grateful for the things I want,

Even if I don’t have it right now

But that the things that I want are en route

That they are coming

If I can just imagine myself already in riches and in love again

Where I don’t have to worry about bills

And debt

Or loneliness

I will never feel alone again

And I don’t feel alone because I tell myself I am not alone

And I am not poor because I tell myself I’m not poor

there are people far off worse than me

And there are people better than me…

…in one aspect or another

I feel like we’re just in between two ultimate extremes

And I’m okay being average

Because I am the best at being myself

And I will find a way through this

Being completely honest with myself right now

I want you all to see this

To feel this

I hope to God that you’ll be understood

That I’ll be understood

That we can live in a world where we’re understood

No matter how vulgar

Or how obscene

Or how inappropriate

My feelings or how I convey my feelings and emotions

It’s who I am

And everything I say and do and think can be relatable to another human being

Anything a human can create,

Another can understand it

That way, I’m not alone

I tell myself I am not alone because I am not alone

I’m here with you all

On Earth

We’re all human

We’re all the same species

I am with you

And you are with me

With every breath I take

[deep breath]

 

Unscripted II (1 of 2)

(Transcribed until 5:58)

I just finished meditating

How I usually do

In the bath tub

Taking a nice, relaxing bath

And I light the candles

And I fill the bathtub with nice, clean bubbles

And I turn the lights off 

And all you can hear is the humming of the AC

Of the fan

And a slight meow from my cat

Wishing me luck on a brief yet cherished journey

An interlude cherished all the more for its brevity

And I lay in the warm water

This liquid gold that will exonerate me for my sins and my negative thoughts

For I have been neglecting the Law of Attraction for far too long now

And I play some guided meditation

And I allow myself to be led astray in a world that’s not my own,

But a world I strive to be a part of, even if it’s just for a moment

And I crave this world

I yearn for it everyday

I remind myself that I’ve been here before and I can return at any time

A place where technology doesn’t exist

And the rushing cascades of water down a waterfall

The feeling of the Sun on my skin

The sounds of chirping

The trees swaying in the wind,

Rooted to the ground yet dancing to the beat of life

And I allow myself to be taken into this world where all my worries and cares are acknowledged

But are easily swept away

Life’s most simplest indulgences I feel I’ve come to neglect

The little things in life that I’ve lost gratitude for such as my feline companion

Or state benefits

Or food in the fridge

The clothes in my closet

The AC that keeps me cool during the Summer

The heater that keeps me warm in the cold

And the beautiful – 

The beautiful world where I come to acknowledge and surrender myself to the beauty that I’ve come to just ignore

And to send my love to the people who’ve hurt me

And to give them my forgiveness

And to allow myself to grow because there are no mistakes,

There are no losing situations,

There are only opportunities

There are only learning – 

Learning opportunities

Where I can become a better person and become more well equipped 

To be the best version of myself

But sometimes I wonder why when I try to establish any human connection,

It seems to be distant

Or strained 

Or brief

Yet cherished

And appreciated

And adorned

For this nostalgia takes over me

And I clear my mind

And I allow myself to succumb to the whims of my past

Why am I left alone?

Why did everything I love and everyone I love just leave?

sMiley Returns!

I love how Miley’s new single makes me feel so happy! As an empath, I believe I can feel the emotion that an artist tries so hard to convey in their works of art. She had a rough several years in which she felt she had to prove she wasn’t just this country girl, but then I think she realized that there was no shame in where she came from or even experimenting with a different palette of music, for that matter. If you notice her hair in “Malibu,” you can see where the blonde ends and her natural hair begins again. I saw symbolism in that. It makes me happy to see others happy. 😇🎈😍❤

My Curious George

“So you’re going to chase away a guy who actually likes you and wants to be with you because of your ex-fiance?! IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS! YOU NEED TO FORGIVE HIM AND MOVE FORWARD IN YOUR LIFE! He hurt you really bad, I get it. You were in pain, but now you’re just suffering. Suffering is a choice. You’re choosing to isolate and to feel alone and unloved. Do you like feeling this way?! Because if you don’t, then it is imperative for you to open yourself up to new experiences. That is the only way you’ll ever be able to move on. Escape your comfort zone and take a leap of faith! Put your trust in something far larger than yourself… the unknown.”