Tried With You

You guarded yourself very well. You didn’t even have to. I would never have intentionally hurt you. You thought I was weak yet you perceived me as a threat. You felt that you could just walk all over me. You thought that I wouldn’t catch on to your little games. I sensed the pain that you garnered, the suffering that you’ve endured every passing day. I knew you considered suicide. I knew that your ex-husband was sending you mail to my address. And I know that you’re probably living with her now. You don’t owe me anything. I thought I could save you. I thought I could help you get back on your feet again. But I was so wrong. How could I have expected you to love me when your whole life depended on self-preservation and survival? Someone like you doesn’t have the mental capacity to love. All your energy was spent on trying to live another day. Maybe I was selfish for having a homeless man stay with me and expecting a relationship out of it. Maybe I did feel a sense of power and control. Maybe it felt good to know that someone needed me. I admit that I’ve done wrong but you never admitted your wrong-doings. I tried with you, but we weren’t equally yoke. You had secrets. You made me feel like everything that happened between us was solely my fault. You manipulated my emotions and you’re a sociopath who fools everyone in your wake. Your delusions even make you fool yourself. What could I have possibly done to save you?


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